Title: Imperfect existence
Pairing: Chandler/Kent
Rating: PG-13
Author: Claddagh
Summary: Their life isn't perfect…
Disclaimer: Do not own!
When Kent wakes up in the middle of the night from yet another nightmare ,panting, saturated in sweat and salty tears bathing his cheeks, Joe doesn't need to ask him to explain what it was about. He already knows from the young man's distressed calls in his sleep that the dream was filled with long, shining, sharp blades and two cold, identical forms dressed in perfectly tailored and expensive suits.
Whenever this happens Joe just silently pulls the shivering body against his, not forcing Kent to talk, but allowing the silence to stretch, giving him the chance to speak about it if he wants to.
He never does.
During their intimate moments when both men are completely lost in the pleasures that each other's body provides, if Joe's fingers even brush the raised scars marring Kent's otherwise flawless pale skin the young man will pull his lips away from Joe's and his entire body will tense. He stays this way until Joe's hands have moved on. Then he will continue to kiss or move his body with even more exuberance and passion than before, his actions almost desperate in their need to apologise to Joe for the way he reacts to the contact.
Over time Joe has learned to resist intentionally touching the scars and has come to accept that Kent may never be comfortable with Joe's fingers caressing the rough lines of skin. However he still occasionally allows the tips of his fingers to skim across the two parallel lines on Kent's flesh, just to see if his reaction changes.
It hasn't yet.
When Kent catches Joe in his office obsessively counting objects some months after the Kray's case he doesn't mention it. Instead he walks up to Joe's desk and hands him some photo's concerning their most recent case, his eyes staying firmly fixed on the other man's face, not even flickering towards his twitching fingertips that repeatedly move over the small piles of objects as they are counted.
Before leaving the office Kent reaches over the desk and clasps the hand that Joe is using to count in his own smaller one. The older man looks up at Kent with a small grateful smile on his face, thankful that he's been halted in his obsession for the few precious seconds that his hand is held in Kent's, the young man's touch automatically pacifying his almost uncontrollable compulsions.
Of course the moment the hand is gone and Kent walks out of the office Joe resumes his counting.
When they argue it's mostly over petty things and Joe always looses his patience first, his naturally highly strung nature preventing him from keeping calm, especially when they argue over clothes, the state of the flat or when something has been moved from it's 'proper' position. Kent always remains calm to a certain extent, but after Joe has continued to persistently pick the issue to pieces the young man will eventually snap back at him.
During these arguments their rank at work has only come into it once; when it did Kent just stared at Joe with a look of pure hurt on his face and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Since then work hasn't been brought up and Kent will stand his ground in an argument with Joe, especially when he feels he's in the wrong.
Luckily their arguments are few and far between as both men have developed a good understanding of each other and both try to be tolerant of the other's flaws and shortcomings. Of course this doesn't stop all of the fights, but once they have both had time to cool down, one of them always comes to the other and silently wraps their arms around them, takes their hand and apologises.
Joe always holds onto Kent that little bit tighter after an argument.
They are fully aware that their existence together isn't perfect and that their relationship is nothing like the conventional nuclear family with 2.4 kids and most likely never will be. He's aware that both of them have their own irrational fears and are damaged by their job and their past, but when they go home together at the end of a shift both Kent and Joe have someone close that understands and doesn't demand an explanation for their behaviour. That in itself makes it easier to deal with the horrific things they see every day.
Joe is aware their life isn't perfect, but when he can curl up in bed with Kent at the end of the day it's as perfect as it needs to be.