Jelissa. I don't own anything.
I hated you.
Of course you did. You told me every single day. You told me I drove you over the edge, I was the one responsible. I used to hide in my room under my pillow like the child I was, wondering when you would finally start talking, opening up to me.
You were so immature.
I really was. When we started out I used to beg you to talk to me. When you were mad you'd ignore me for days, but I kept coming back. Always coming back.
So fucking annoying. You wouldn't leave me alone.
Because I loved you! Because I cared about you, worried about you! It was so...foreign to you. Love. Maybe that's why you hated me so much.
You make me pretty angry.
Because I used to smile, all the time. I remember you hated that. I thought you were just being fickle.
You called the cops on me!
No I didn't! That was the neighbor! And it's damn good she did because you were yelling so bad, they thought you were beating me! I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't stop, I couldn't even leave the counter where I was chopping the onions...
And then they thought I hurt you...
...because there was so much blood. Because I dropped the knife. But they didn't believe me. I just wanted them to go away, the lights hurt my head.
You and your headaches. I hated them.
You hated me. And now you're gone, and I'm whispering to myself, and I can't stop thinking about all the blood and how much you hated me.
You were such a little bitch! You cried so much, every day, and hid in the room and spilled everything to your stupid cunt of a sister. They should've taken you, you were the crazy one, they should've locked you up, you and your stupid head and headaches and stupid little crying mouth, you little bitch, one of these days I'm gonna find you, you thought I loved youbutIhatedyouIhatedyouIhatedyousomuchbloodsomuchbloodandIloveditbecauseIhatedyouIhatedIhatedIhated
Me.