Another Lassiet oneshot. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
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I have a short fuse
I am a wrecking ball
Crashing into your heart like I do
You're like a Sunday morning
Full of grace and full of Jesus
And I wish that I could be more like you
-Lee Brice, Hard to Love
Why did he have to be such a bastard?
He sighed as he walked down the hospital corridor. His clothes were bloodstained and he could still hear that shot echoing in his head, playing on a continuous loop.
Why couldn't he make it stop?
His arm was aching and in a sling, though he barely noticed it. It was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.
Why did she have to be so goddamn selfless?
Ignoring the nursing staff, he made his way to the room where Juliet had been admitted. There was a long window and through it he could see her lying in that bed. His disgust with himself rose tenfold as he placed his hand against the glass and managed a shallow breath. The morning's events seemed like a lifetime away as he watched Juliet intently. They had gone into a house to interview a witness only to inadvertently find a hostage situation taking place. Juliet had been fearless and amazing and he was so proud of her as she tried to talk the bastard down.
Then someone's phone rang and it all went to hell.
A gun had swung toward Lassiter and he had prepared himself for the inevitable. Instead he felt Juliet hit him, knocking him to the ground and taking the bullet intended for him. In the ensuing chaos, he shot the bastard and called for backup, all the while trying to keep Juliet with him and cursing her for sacrificing herself for him.
He had done nothing to deserve that loyalty and selflessness.
Shaking his head, he finally entered Juliet's room and quietly approached her bed. She remained deeply asleep as he greedily drank her in.
She was alive.
That was all that mattered, at least to him.
Suddenly so exhausted, he dropped down into the chair by her bed, his eyes still locked on her pale face.
"Listen to me, O'Hara, and listen well," he whispered, gripping her hand tightly. "You are not allowed to die, do you hear me? And you're never allowed to do anything like this ever again, so help me God. I'd… I'd never forgive you."
He scrubbed his free hand over his haggard face and tried not to come apart completely as he listened to her steady heartbeat.
"I can't lose you. I don't care if that makes me a selfish prick. I cannot lose you. Not now, not ever. Do you understand me?"
She remained silent and he ran his thumb absently over her palm, reveling in the warmth he felt there. She was alive. She was going to be alright. She would need time to heal and get back on her feet again, but she wasn't going to die. She wasn't.
Breathing hard, he leaned over and lightly kissed her bruised temple. He would never know what he had done to deserve her and her unwavering faith and support, but he would never take that for granted for as long as he lived. There was no way he would ever understand what she saw in him, but God, he loved her so much. He brought her hand up and gently kissed her palm.
"I love you, Juliet."
I'm hard to love, hard to love
No, I don't make it easy
I couldn't do it
If I stood where you stood
I'm hard to love, hard to love
But you say that you need me
I don't deserve it
But I love that you love me good
The End