THE STORY OF WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ALL THOSE POKEMON GUYS

This is a story about what actually happened to all those pokemon guys who everyone thought was cool.

OPENING

When Ash got older he thought queen Ashe from Final Fantasy XII was hot so he added an E to the end of his name to become a Queen Ashe Impersonator. He was arrested for treason by the Empire and was in jail for 5 years. When he got out he was abducted by the WHASWWKHFCHDUG (We Hate Ash(e) So We Will Kill Him Forever Cause He Dumped Us Gang) and was never seen again...

Misty was the original founder of WHASWWKHFCHDUG (pronounced: wuh-haz-wik-fitch-dug). She became all gangstery and kidnapped Ash and she was never seen again except in several unproven sightings of her streaking through peoples yards nude with an UNPT (Unidentified Nude Pokemon Trainer) named Ash(e).

Brock had a rice ball restaurant until 2002 when he added an A to his name and became a politician. Barack is very hip and fist-poundy.

May, Dawn, Harley, and all the other girls Ash(e) left in the dust joined WHASWWKHFCHDUG

Max decided to turn evil and create card game called Duel Monsters. Because he became rich and had a million dollars he added "a million" to his name. Because he was rich he hired a tutor to teach him how to read (he actually went through about 12 tutors). Max especially liked the story about the "purty wingy horsy" so he added Pegasus to his name too. Yup, you got it. Maximilian Pegasus. And as if he wasn't enough of a doofus already, he decided to pick on a little 12 year old "Master of Games" cause he couldn't beat anyone his own age at the card game he created. Pathetic.

Sephiroth (OK so he's not really from Pokemon) made his poor evil brother Kadaj resurrect him and then the big oaf went and got himself killed by an 18 year old with six swords in two hands again. But just at that moment he gave his brother his body back and Kadaj died for him. Then ol' Sephy became a male underwear model in the afterlife where Aeris and Zack repeatedly kicked him in the crotch. Well that's what you get for stealing the earth's life force, ya fool.