Shockwave hadn't felt anything for a long time.
The Nemesis's halls were cool and dark and the lights overhead flickered, like they were going to go dim. He didn't deem it logical for the Decepticons to use such dim lights, as it would make it hard to see what one was doing. Luckily, his single eye functioned well as a lamp. It was an upgrade he had gotten from the Medics and it served its purpose well.
He put down the datapad stared long and hard at his progress. He didn't see why Megatron would want a bioweapon of all things, for it would most likely spread among his own soldiers and lessen their numbers. It was...
Illogical.
He looked up at the wall.
"Illogical." He used that word a lot. He stared long and hard at his reflection, and it stared back at him. A single glowing yellow eye and a cannon arm.
He didn't see why empurata was so popular back on Cybertron. Why did they cut your head and hands off? What was the point? To be humiliated? A head was a head, after all. Its shape did not matter as long as it did its job. Then his mind wandered to Shadowplay.
And then he felt it.
It was cold and sudden, and it gripped at his spark. He stared down at his hands, er, hand. He hadn't felt this strange sensation in a long, long time. He buried his head in his hand and made a soft wailing noise. He wanted it to stay more than anything. He didn't want to think in numbers and measurements anymore. As quickly as he could, he searched into the depths of his memory for the name of this feeling. Happiness? No, that wasn't it. Disgust? Confusion? He was getting warmer...
Footsteps resounding through the hall outside announced the presence of a soldier. The door to the laboratory slid open.
"Shockwave? Are you alright sir?" His voice carried something that was once familiar. He couldn't recognize it either, but he felt something else in his gut. It made him feel sick and he tried to guess the name of that too. It definitely wasn't Happiness, he was certain of that. He desperately searched deep in his memory banks for the word.
"Sir?"
He grabbed the soldier's shoulders and squeezed.
"What is the word for when you desire something that someone else has and would do anything for it?" He blurted out. It sounded silly coming from him, but he didn't care. The soldier took a step back.
"Jealousy?"
The word lingered in the air. Jealousy. Yes, that was it. Jealousy. He didn't know why but it fit. It fit perfectly.
"Soldier..." He let go of the crewmen's shoulders. "Who...Did this to me?"
The soldier paused.
"I-I think it was the senate." He gulped. Shockwave's hand curled into a fist.
"Thank you. I will remember that." Something brewed within him. It was hot and unlike anything he had felt in a long, long time. The soldier headed for the door.
Then the feeling began to disappear again. A chill went down his spine and he faltered and gripped at his spark casing. He didn't want it to leave. Not yet. Not ever.
"Wait-"
And then it was gone.
"Shockwave? Sir? Is everything okay?"
He stood up straight.
"Everything is fine."
"Okay then, you just seemed kind of... Um, out of it." Shockwave thought. He wasn't sure what had happened a few moments before.
"I am fine." He said plainly. The soldier crept out of the door and sprinted down the hall.
Shockwave pondered on what had just happened. The soldier was right. It was indeed unusual. He stepped out of his lab and headed down the hall and contemplated getting checked out by the medics.
It was only logical, after all.