Gerald's Song

by Professor McGonagal

Gerald the Sorting Hat is back! For realzers! He puts a twist on his start of year song. Song written by author. One shot. AU. Third in a kind of series of one shots featuring a very OOC Sorting Hat. First in the series is The Sorting of Dudley Dursley, second is The Sorting of Harry Potter. Please read, enjoy, and review! :)

Gerald's Song

Gerald The Sorting Hat sat on the 'sorting stool' looking at the first years, mentally going over the lyrics of his 'Opening Feast Rap'. Or OFR, as he preferred to think of it. He waited until every eye was upon him, before opening his brim and rapping to a slow beat;

"Badda badda, boom, chee, boom, boom, chee, chee!

Yo, what up, I'm Gerald, remember my name,

You know, I know, that Sorting's my game,

I know that you wouldn't be so lame,

As to not knowin' the extent of my fame,

If you don't know, you been living in a mouse,

LOL jokes, now let me tell ya about each house;

In Gryffindor, there are the brave,

Those who are hard to tame,

In Hufflepuff, live the loyal,

Who are unafraid o' toil,

Ravenclaw, house of the brainy,

But know this; they can be zany,

Slytherin, home to the scheming,

Almost all they say has a double meaning,

Now, put me on, one by one,

Let me sort you, you know you'll have fun,

What, What?

Yo."

There was a silence, before the whole school including the all staff (that includes Snape), terrified first years and Slytherins jumped to their feet burst into applause. Over the cheering and yelling Gerald could be heard yelling "Live the dream homies! For realzers!" 3rd year Gryffindor, Dudley Dursley, grinned across the table at his 2nd year cousin Harry Potter. Harry grinned back. Sending a final cheer towards Gerald, the two cousins, along with the rest of Hogwarts, sat down to watch the Sorting.

A/N: Please review! :)