Authors' Note: Hello. This is HoshiToTsuki… and I have an apple.
Hi… If The Bunny Was Dead, here! Hoshi won't give me some of her apple.
So we are co-writing this story. Hope you enjoy the parody that we brainstormed over Chinese food this afternoon!
Oh, and check out /ifthebunnywasdead ! Or we might have to hurt you !
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It was a Sunday afternoon and Kikyo was taking a walk with her Ladies' Souls Stealers floating after her and those two creepy little girls.
SUDDENLY! Kagome Higurashi, whom the clay priestess found to be a complete rock in her sandal, jumped out of the bushes with a pick-ax!
Kikyo was astounded! She swirled her hand around, "OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST JUMP OUT OF THE BUSHES WITH A PICK-AX!"
"OH YES I DI-ID!" Kagome whacked the clay woman over the back of the head with the butt of the ax. Cackling madly, she slung the ax over her shoulder and dragged the older priestess back into the bushes by her ankles; a spark in her eyes that if she were a man (which she was not) would have screamed: YOU GUNNA GET RAPED, BITCH!
0o0
The Salem Witch Trials were a nice place to dispose of Kikyo, Kagome decided as she pedaled her bike out of Feudal Japan, across the oceans, and a couple hundred years forward to historic Massachusetts. Dressing as a colonial girl, she dragged Kikyo along on the ground behind her by her hair.
"YO MUTHAFUCKAS!" she screamed at the people of the congregation. (She was in a church, remember, it's Sunday.)
They looked at her funny. "I caught myself a witch! Let's burn her!" she yelped, turning and running out of the church.
So they burned her down into a lump of clay. Since that's what she is made of. Or WAS made of.
Kagome made the clay that used to be Kikyo into a nice pot and went home, filling it with gardening manure.
"Now to go see my bitch!" she smiled, clapping her hands and jumping down the well with the pot in her arms. She set out to find her bitch.
0o0
"INUYASHA I GOT YOU A PRESENT!" she tackled him Sumo-Style from behind. He shoved her off before standing up.
"Do you know where my other bitch is?" he asked, referring to Kikyo. Kagome was his first bitch. Because she was actually alive and Kikyo… used to be a zombie.
"Yes," Kagome held the pot behind her back.
"Well, where is she?"
"Right here," she handed the Kikyo-pot of manure to the demon boy. "See those ashes? She fell into Hell so I went and got them and put them in this urn."
"WHAT!" InuYasha yelped, clutching the jar to his chest. "NOT MY KIKYO!"
"Nope, not yours. Now she belongs to… that pot…," Kagome pondered.
"I think I got me an idea!" InuYasha snapped his fingers.
"No way, you don't think… nice one," Kagome snickered.
Before InuYasha could state his "idea" a loud disturbance on the high seas interrupted.
"HEY, THAT'S MY JAR OF DIRT!" Captain Jack Sparrow of the Jolly Roger karate kicked InuYasha and caught the jar of manure in mid air!
"I got my jar of dirt, I got my jar of dirt! You don't have a jar of dirt cause I got my jar of dirt!" he cackled, running off into the forests.
InuYasha cried out, reaching after the Kikyo-jar of shit. But the pirate was long gone.
"Osuwari, bitch." Kagome kicked InuYasha. Because kicking InuYasha is fun.
0o0
Yeah… erm… right. Usagi-chan did it….