A/N: Because I had to write a Doctor Who fic.

But this made sense. At least in my mind. Inspired by the topic I got for my literature project.

So... I don't own Doctor Who. Warning: Rose may seem OOC and this is fluffy.

How I avoided jail

It's nigh impossible to explain exactly what happened to me to get me into this particular situation, stepping around on a traintrack, but okay, here we go.

The doctor left me on Bad Wolf Bay with his human metacrisis. Was I happy with this? No. He wasn't the doctor. He was a replica with a bit of Donna Noble mixed into him.

He was a bit cruder, but the sass he lost when he regenerated was back. I think if I put that doctor and Donna in the same TARDIS, absolutely nothing would get done, they'd just try to see who had the most sass.

The doctor meant to leave the metacrisis to me as his sacrifice. I know. And when the metacrisis told me he loved me... Well, he's an exact copy. And I do love him. And he can grow old with me. I expected him to. I did love him. I did... Well, I did after a while. It took some getting used to.

But I learned that the metacrisis was a whole other being. He wasn't the doctor. He had his own quirks and mannerisms, he was much more liberal with the usage of weapons, but he was dangerous and dark, like the Doctor was when I first met him - and I was supposed to "fix" him.

He decided that he wasn't the doctor after all. He decided he was John Smith. And I called him that - John Smith.

One day he decided he was going to Paris. He didn't give a reason. He also didn't want me going along.

That hurt. Because at that point I'd fallen for this John Smith, he was... He was amazing. He was perfect to me. And I loved him, I wanted to go with him, spend the rest of my life with him, as he'd promised that day on Bad Wolf Bay!

But this morning... Well, I was there, lying peacefully in bed with my baby brother curled into my side, when the bloody phone rang. And rang. And rang. And rang...

And the damn thing wouldn't stop ringing until I snatched it off the hook and barked into it.

Well, yes, I know that was rude. But after 20 minutes of a person not answering, wouldn't you get the message?

"Rose Tyler."

I sat upright, causing my baby brother to wake up and scowl at me. I pulled the little boy into a hug before going back to the phone.

"Doc... John?" I almost screwed up. He laughed.

"It's all right, Rose, you can call me Doctor. But that's not why I called - I just got a sonic screwdriver! Isn't that fantastic?" He was excited and nervous, that much I could tell. My heart was beating in my throat, and I wondered where he got the screwdriver from...

Then I blinked, what the hell? He doesn't make contact for a month and now he calls me?

"You see, Rose Tyler, I've decided to embrace who I am. I am the Doctor. Better yet, Rose Tyler, I'm your doctor."

My heat jumped into my throat. What?

That last word ended up streaming out of my mouth without permission. Hey, a month without him would beat and eternity with him.

"Marry me, Rose Tyler." He said.

Who the hell asks a woman to marry him over the phone? Yes, that was my very first though.

"Doctor, this isn't customary." I said.

"I know, but I'm unable to get there at the current time." He was frowning. I know he was. My doctor was frowning.

"Where are you?" I asked, moving my brother to sleep on the bed by himself before getting up and grabbing my handbag.

"At the next train station, only the train's coming this way, not going your way."

"Don't go anywhere." I ordered and hung up.

Now, I was in my pajamas. My very white pajamas, very silky too.

I didn't stop to put on clothes, I just ran out the front door.

Now, the problem with the little town Torchwood had situated my family and myself in was this: it had no airport, dock or even a train station.

But I tried to stay positive: we have a train track passing the town.

Maybe I could hail the train? Because this place had no decent taxi service either.

I ran to the tracks, probably looking really scary seeing as I had on no make-up, no socially acceptable clothing and I was barefoot, my one hand stretched out awkwardly in an attempt to keep my bag in the hair and my hair uncombed.

Yes - it was terrifying. And, worse, in the distance I saw a train coming. I wondered if I'd be able to flag it down.

And this is how I ended up where I am.

I climbed on top of the train tracks in a bout to get the driver's attention. I would make a run if he had no intention of stopping...

Then I would simply hijack a train. Threaten a few people, scare another - I'd most likely end up in jail, but let's not go too deeply into that.

What the hell was I doing? Honestly, I couldn't be this desperate... could I?

I smiled at myself, no... I was madly in love with a mad man.

As the train drew nearer I heard the painful screech of brakes and sent a prayer of thanks up to the heavens.

I jumped off the track and waited.

The driver helped me into the train. He was a tall man, a bit plump, his hair was dishevelled and his eyes looked tired, but he was smiling down at me.

"Is it a man?" He asked.

I blushed and nodded.

"No need to blush, dear girl, we all get there," He winked at me before firing the engine up, "But there's a bathroom back there."

"Thank you!" I called over the noise of the engine, hurrying to said bathroom to fix my hair, and I added a tiny bit of make-up.

One hour later, we stopped. I floundered out of the train like an octopus: everything was flailing everywhere, quite clumsily too.

"Rose!" A voice called. I grinned and looked up - I knew that voice. He came to a halt in front of me.

"Doctor," I greeted with a wide smile.

Well, it was awkward. I mean, what kind of guy asks a girl to marry him over the phone? That isn't normal, but he knows that and, of course, why would he do anything normal.

We stared at each other.

"Oh, for the love of... Just bloody kiss her already!" The train driver yelled.

That caused the ice to break. The Doctor closed the remaining gap between us, his lips on mine in a second...

Hungry lips, devoid of affection; searching lips that finds their resting place; lips, tongues and a bit of teeth, arms embracing and cheeks warming up.

When we pulled apart our chests heaved.

The Doctor and I both laughed as he drew me into a hug.

"Rose Tyler... It isn't the last chance I'm getting to say it, but..." He started, but I cut across him.

"I love you." I whispered.

"Exactly."

And that was the story of how I avoided being thrown in jail.

Just kidding, it's the story of how the Doctor asked me to marry him, how my dream came true

. . .

A/N: Well... Uh, yes, this is insane and I don't know what I was thinking. Review, though, please?