A/N: Basically, i just took a song and changed the words to be relevant to Sweeney Todd. If I think of any more, they will be added. I am open to suggestions if anyone wants to see a particular song be parodied.
This original song is Don't Tell Mama from Cabaret. I suggest you read the words to the original song or listen to it first before you read this. It might make more sense.
Disclaimer: If I were Stephen Sondheim/Tim Burton, the movie would have ended differently and I would not be sitting here writing Fanfiction!
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Turpin
Thinks I'm living in Australia
A secluded little prison
In the middle of the sea
Turpin
Doesn't even have an inkling
That I have returned to London
With the help of Anthony
So please, sir
If you run into Judge Turpin
Don't reveal my indiscretion
Give a poor barber a chance
Hush up
Don't tell Turpin
Shush up
Don't tell Turpin
Don't Tell Turpin
Whatever you do
Now you know my secret
I think you should keep it
Or I might have to kill you
Mrs. Lovett is my charming neighbor
I live right above her shop
She is my baker
She makes pies
The worst in London
Would you like to try one?
We know what we do's against the law
You can tell Pirelli
That's alright
He just got baked into a pie
But don't tell Turpin what you saw
Turpin
Tried to steal and rape my wife
And now I shall end his life
Sweeney Todd will have revenge
Toby
Helps Mrs. Lovett make pies
But we have to tell him lies
He don't know about my friends
So please, sir
If you run into Judge Turpin
Don't reveal my indiscretion
Just leave well enough alone
Hush up
Don't tell Turpin
Shush up
Don't tell Turpin
Don't tell Turpin
Whatever you do
Now you know my secret
I think you should keep it
Or I might have to kill you
Unless you want to slide from my chair
To the bake house
So let's just keep this secret
Keep this from Judge Turpin
The streak in my hair is white as snow
You can tell the Beadle
I don't care
Cos he just slid out of my chair
But don't tell Turpin what you know
You can tell Johanna
That's not bad
At least she don't know I'm her dad
But don't tell Turpin what you know
You can tell Tobias
That ain't grim
Cos if he knows what's good for him
He won't tell Turpin
Oh no
Don't tell Turpin
Please sir
Don't tell Turpin what you know
If you see Judge Turpin
Give him a "shave"
--
Ah! well, I hope you all enjoyed that immensely! I am still very dedicated to updating Because I Love You! but this little thing just had to get out!
Press the little purple button and you get some free pie and gin! ;