There's No One Left
Chapter 0
Johanna Mason was lying in her bed in District 13, in the hospital recovering from her panic attack. The setting wasn't helping her at all. She felt far more comfortable in her apartment, even if she did have to share it with Katniss Everdeen. At first, Johanna found the girl annoying as she attempted to salvage that sorry love story and stop the Districts' rebellion for Snow. It was annoying, she realized one day, not because it made Katniss is weak or stupid person, but because it was everything Johanna never got to do. Peeta's place in Katniss's life spared her and the people she cared about from ending up like Finnick and many other victors. Johanna had heard the horror stories. She had a story of her own.
It was as she was remembering that Katniss walked in, back from a hunt, it appeared, for she was wearing her jacket and carrying a little paper pouch, probably carrying something dead. Katniss crossed the room to Johanna's bed and held out the bundle.
"What's that?" Johanna says hoarsely. Damp edges of her hair form little spikes over her forehead.
"I made it for you. Something to put in your drawer." Katniss placed it in her hands. "Smell it."
She lifted the bundle to her nose and took a tentative sniff. "Smells like home." Katniss began to speak, but stopped, seeing tears begin to glide over Johanna's dark brown eyes, a place she'd never seen them before.
"Johanna, what's wrong? I'm sorry, I would never have made this if I knew it would upset you." She tried to take the bundle back, but Johanna only clutched it tighter and pressed it to her nose, squeezing her eyes tight while inhaling the scent to stop the forbidden tears.
"No. I like it," she snapped. Relaxing, she looked back at Katniss, "I never told you, Katniss, why Snow can't—couldn't-hurt me anymore."
"You said there was no one left that you loved. I figured the rest was none of my business."
"You're darn right it's none of your business."
"I'm sorry?" Katniss wondered, confused.
"It's not your business, but would you mind if I told you anyway?" Johanna explained. "You know, because I'm not supposed to censor my thoughts and all? I was just thinking about it, and I feel like telling someone, so, if you'd just sit there quietly and not interrupt, that'd be great."
"Sure, yeah, I—"
"Ok, here it goes," Johanna began. "I was sixteen when I won. Old enough to be smart and strong enough to win, but young enough to make my little show believable. You know how I detest weak people, so you can imagine how hard it was to pretend to be one. Winning, well, that was, surprisingly to all but some of the other victors, the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
"Yes, I was able to come forward as the strong, fierce person that I am and quiet the coward act, but… you know what happened to Finnick, right?"
"Yes, I do," Katniss said, her voice steady, but without pity, for while she knew what was to come, she also knew Johanna. And Johanna could not stand to be pitied. Pity was for the weak.
"He had Annie and Mags. His family was gone before then—only child, dead parents, dead cousin, unloving aunt and uncle. Those two were the only ones he had, and he's an emotional person. I can see why he would… submit to Snow's orders to protect them, as I can see why you sold your image after your Games by keeping up the love show with Peeta to protect your people. But that… that sort of thing… it just isn't for me."
Johanna was silent for a few moments, but Katniss did not speak. Johanna had never opened up to her—maybe not to anyone—like this before, and it was clear she still had more to say.
After a deep breath, she continued, "Fuck. Finnick and I had a few things in common, victory in the arena, subsequent fame, desirable traits, people we loved and wanted to protect, and of course, special time in the Capitol, if you catch my drift. But that's where the similarities ended. He had his emotional, protective, self-sacrificing nature. I've never been anything like him outside of cutting enemies down. I'm not good for people.
"So, finally, this is my story…"