Dinosaurs? Dinosaurs! On a spaceship! The Doctor was more than excited at the sight of dinosaurs. He loved dinosaurs. He even had little model of dinosaurs in the TARDIS. Amy laughed and called him a five-year-old time lord when she accidentally stumbled upon them during the early days they started traveling together. Yes, he loved dinosaurs because they were amazing and fascinating. But the most important reason he kept little models around him was because they were memories of the last time he saw these amazing creatures. It was the last trip before everything started going wrong.
No. No. He mentally shook his head. He couldn't think of that now. Not when there were two giant clubs stomping after them. First things first. Where were they? Well, they were in a spaceship. But where on the spaceship? The Doctor unconsciously knew that he was rambling something about 6 hours and a lifetime when he saw a screen masked by cobwebs behind Brian's shoulder. Right, sonic and read the map. Engines. He needed to get to the engines to find out…what?
The Doctor twirled around. What? Outdoors? What? Taking a few steps to try and figure out his surroundings, he threw his hands up in frustration. Of course! Teleports! He hated teleports! Especially after being teleported in and out of dalek crazy bin on his last trip with the Ponds.
He was bickering with Rory when Brian stomped back. Brian voiced the question that every one of his companions asked when the TARDIS landed. The Doctor stuck his tongue out. Water, salt, oxygen and…metal? It was definitely the taste of earth with an extra heavy dose of metal and something else. Something that wasn't right. Something that had a tinge of familiarity. His eyes darted around while his mind tried to figure out why the taste of this place, other than the heavy dose of metal, wasn't right. The grey sky, the heavy fog blanketing around them. The slight sinking of standing on sand while the nearby waves lapped at the shore. And then he knew. It wasn't the taste of metal that was wrong. Nor was it the salt in the air that triggered the sense of familiarity. It was this place. Or rather the general idea of this place that fished up old memories. The memories that formed when he had a different face and a different story. Back when he still wore a pinstriped suit and wanted more than anything to be human.
He left the father and son on the beach to dig while he headed towards the rocks. Experience told him that there was something important with the rocks. He could tell himself that was the only reason he was leaving the pair behind but he'd be lying. There was another reason. Probably one that was more urging than the former. It was the reason that he avoided beaches in general. It was the reason that he didn't take Amy to Rio when she lost Rory a few years back. He needed to get distance. He needed to be away from the sand and the water. He needed to be away from the place where he lost HER.
This, or rather another beach with the same gloomy weather on a parallel world, was the place where he last saw his Rose in her linear time line. The question that lingered between them. The answer that he never finished. The answer that was finished by his half-human self. And the answer that was responded with a sight that shattered The Doctor's heart while being happy at the same time. He had given Rose the second best thing. He had given her someone to grow old with. Someone that The Doctor knew would love Rose the way he did. Probably even more, if possible. He was happy that she could have her happy ending, even if it wasn't the one that she originally wanted.
It was then did he stop wanting to be human. There wasn't a purpose anymore. There was only one reason that he wanted more than anything to become human. It was the reason he had regenerated from leather jacket to pinstriped suit. But now that Rose had her happy ending and was (more or less) sealed off in Pete's world, there was nothing for him anymore. He didn't need to be human. What fun would there be if he was human now? Live a few more years before his body started to wither away and die? There were stars to see, planets to travel! He could run. Run as far as possible from the pain. He was a Time Lord for heavens sake! He had defeated the daleks and half of the species in the universe. Humans. Ha!
The Doctor shook his head when he remembered the angry thoughts that went through his previous incarnation's head. He was trying to lick his wounds but the events that lead up to his regeneration proved that he never healed. He was a bitter old man. He was the oncoming storm. And just when he found a human to live for again, his time was up. The tenth chapter ended.
It was a new chapter. He tried not to think of the past - of what he had lost. He was good at compartmentalizing. He was excellent at locking away wounds from a previous life. But every now and then, something would be there to remind him of the things he's running from. And beaches were the worst of them all.
No. This was not the time for him to get melancholy he reminded himself for the second time that hour. He had to find a way out of this dinosaur-filled-memory-triggering spaceship before missiles blew the whole thing up. With all his willpower, he crammed the heart-wrenching memory back into it's compartment and securely locked it up. He turned his attention back to the father and son. Brian was telling Rory to put something on his Christmas list. Rory claimed to not have a Christmas list (which was a lie). The Doctor joined in on this conversation by yelling, "I do!" It came out a bit more enthusiastically than planned. He hoped that the Ponds would think that he was just excited for his Christmas presents (which was true) rather than the alternative. It was time to get back to reality. It was time to go back to saving the day.