'Ello!

Name- What if Syed had been cured?

Summary- Set after Syed leaves Christians flat after telling him he's been cured and holding his hand- the only difference is when Syed goes to Allen later he tells him 'thanks I'm cured, I don't love Christian' rather than 'I can't stop loving him.." etc. etc…

BTW- PS characteristics all wrong here but I've had fun writing it! I'm expecting criticism so don't be worried about offending me if you review (please do and I'll love you forever!)

"So you say you don't love him anymore? And you saw him in the market?" Allen asked.

Syed smiled nodding, "And then again at his flat, in the market I touched his arm and at his flat I shook his hand."

"And what did you feel?" Allen looked up from his notes.

"Nothing, I felt nothing towards him. He could have been a stranger. At first I though maybe it would be hard I'd have to concentrate on ignoring all my feelings for him, but I felt nothing. I didn't want to do anything to him, I used to miss him even when I wasn't near him, now when I'm near him I realise how dirty he is. How all the things we did were wrong and sick. I no longer want to be with him," Syed stared at his fingers never looking at Allen, he'd never like the way Allen ogled at him, "I don't want him at all! I'm cured."

Allen smiled, "This is great progress, Sy."

Syed's head whipped up at the nickname only Christian had ever called him; Sy. He felt hurt and abused when Allen used that name- like Allen was mocking it but Syed knew he was just calling him Sy, like any normal person could. Because now, anyone could, he wasn't Christians he was his own, he was straight and single; he was free.

Still, for Allen to call him Sy… It was just wrong. He had only ever been Sy with Christian. He was Syed to everyone else; he was Syed to those that didn't know the truth about him. The truth that no-longer was. That he was a gay man. He wasn't sure if he wanted to totally let all of that go, maybe he could still keep a bit of the good times, because underneath it all, it had been good.

When Syed was alone, at night, tossing and turning trying to sleep he would think, really think. That would be the only time his real feelings could ever be reviled. He would think over his entire life, all the mistakes, all the lies, and he would see that deep down he still loved Christian, but in a sense that was not sexual. He missed being with him, he missed the love Christian would show him, he missed the care. But mostly, he missed being Sy.

It was true, he didn't find Christian attractive anymore, he could move on, so he was grasping the opportunity with two hands. He could be good again and he knew it, so long as Christian wasn't in his life.

"Syed!" Allen's sharp voice broke into Syed's reverie.

"Sorry I was thinking."

"About him," Allen's tone immediately was wary, "Syed you said you no-longer have feelings for Christian."

"No not about him… Well yes about him, but not in that way at all, I was just thinking about how I was his but I'm not anymore. Thank you so much for your help, now, I guess this is goodbye."

"No, Syed you can't leave!" there was something in his voice that made Syed uneasy, possibly a tone of desperation? "What if the feelings come back? Just a few more sessions, we always make sure the SSA has fully left before we let patients go."

God, he really wants my money, Syed though. "Sure. Only a few more though; I'm planning to get in touch with my wife."

"Rox you can't just become straight- or people wouldn't stay gay. You don't just get 'cured'!"

It had broken Christians heart into those messed up pieces- again- to hear Syed say he wasn't in love with him anymore. Especially when he knew it could never be true, Zainab and Masood must have forced him into it, they must have found this therapist themselves. Syed was gay, why couldn't they understand that? It made Christian so angry to see them hurt Syed and reject him, but it hurt to be rejected too. He knew he could never be enough for Syed, he needed his family and his religion, but they would never respect him. Yet after everything Syed had put Christian through he was still there, heart pumping only for Syed, he would always be there for him, but Syed had mistreated that fact so much Christian couldn't contain it anymore and he'd let it out which had resulted in him losing Syed for what now seemed like forever. Now he was 'straight'.

Roxy spoke, "Maybe you can Christian, Syed seems to think he has…"

"Ugh, Roxy that's Zainab and Masood talking! He doesn't want this, I know Syed- this isn't him!" Christian sighed in determination, he head flying in to his plams, when he raised it again he spoke, "What I just don't get is how they can punish him so much for falling in love. You can help who you fall for, man or woman it doesn't matter- why can't they just let him be happy, with me?"

"It's clear as daylight to anyone on the square you are made for each other, so I don't know how they can think what they think but to me its just you and him, you love him, he loves you-"

"So why aren't they together, huh?" Lucy burst in through the door Syed had left open, "I'm sick to death of Syed wrapping us all round his little finger, he doesn't deserve you."

"He's got me though…" Christian sighed not bothering to send her back home.

"Which to me seems to be the only problem, all you have to do is find another guy, just move on!"

"Lucy, I don't want another man, I want Syed. I want him to be honest; I don't want that that heart ache to go to waste! He loved me, I know he did, and I know I could make him happy, even if he is 'straight' now. I could still make him happy, even as friends. It'd never be enough for me but I have to be with him somehow."

"Christian, you have never settled for less than what you want before; I'm not going to let you start now."

OK, this fic was really badly written but i really wanted to post it and recently I've been writing really badly so I decided just to go for it, Thanks :D Review please! Xxx *bye bye!*