Author: LunarBlade Z. Valentine
Website: Webomics Seraphim: Tales of Love and Courage .com
Timeline: After 'Journey's End'. 10.5 and Rose.
Spoilers: If you haven't seen 'Journey's End' you shouldn't be reading about 10.5 anyway! Nothing otherwise I think.
Did you notice that in the episode 'Gridlock', the Doctor asks the Cat-guy "How long do you keep going?!" and the cat-guy says "Until journey's end!" O_o #irrelevant
Black Briar, White Hare
Chapter 1: The Days that FollowedRose strolled through the streets of this mostly residential neighborhood. It wasn't the best area, even before the encroaching sea drove people out. She glanced down at her mobile, double-checked the address. Some said the neighborhood actually improved since people ran. The scare of rising global temperatures drove anyone who would afford to leave this suburb of London, but those who stayed were too poor to be able to do anything about it, or honestly loved their community. It wasn't Rose's community. No place was really her community. She had shut down after the fiasco on the Crucible; didn't sleep much, didn't go out. A lot like what happened the first time he stranded here here. The emotional turmoil of the last three years of her life culminated in such a dramatic and life-altering event that she allowed herself the last three months to recuperate. She was a much wiser woman now, and she also knew when to say enough was enough. It wasn't going to be a one-day change to become her old self again, or a new self, but it started with going out when her agent, Janica, invited her out to the boonies to support a struggling community.
"You have to come and listen to this," She had told her over the phone, "The community is really pulling together, and we might even get some media coverage if you announce that you're showing up."
Rose laughed and said it would only be a local paper that would care these days, and Janica said that would be enough for these people.
So here she was, outside the local public library, an old squat building with a faded, dated facade. She entered.
The evening's event was a public speaker, a member of the community, laying out the plan to help reinvigorate the area and bring kids back to the playgrounds and library.
Rose sighed as she sat in the back of the audience on a foldout plastic chair. It was uncomfortable and one of the rubber bits at the end of the back leg was missing, making the chair rock whenever she shifted. Life in all its million and one irritations. She sighed again.
The speaker stepped up and for a split second the world stopped.
It was the Doctor.
Not her doctor, she had to remind herself, just the man he left her with with the same face, the same tone, the same memories and the same damn lips...
He started speaking, that spark in his eye when he knew he was on the right track and his voice was like a fire in the brush. People were immediately drawn to him. Rose found she was reluctantly no exception.
Her heart constricted when he spotted her in the crowd. His eyes widened. His speech faltered only for a moment, then he cleared his throat and looked away, continuing with the same gusto. Almost. It felt awful, sitting there listening to that voice she loved, those popping letters and sing-song voice. The way he pressed the tip of his tongue to the top of his mouth when he was thinking how to phrase the next part, the way he smiled and the wrinkles would appear in the corners of those gorgeous, emotional eyes. She felt like life was a cruel joke, and somehow this man was the punchline. Or a punch to the gut, more likely. It tore at her, and each minute she sat there, moved despite herself by his unexpected commitment to this strange tiny community, killed her a little more inside.
Afterwards Rose said kind words about the speech to the local newspaper journalist, a young idealist by the name of Jeremy, but what she really wanted was to leave and fill her half of that bargain struck three months ago on the way back from a terrible beach. She didn't know that the Doctor was involved or else she wouldn't have come. She had promised him.
Jeremy finished his audio recording of her on his phone, then asked eagerly, "Mind if I take a picture of you and him for the front page as a show of support?"
Rose opened her mouth to protest, but like a bad penny, Janica pushed her way through the milling old couples and despondent families that comprised the community, dragging a reluctant Doctor in her wake.
"I brought him!" She sang. Janica was older than Rose, with a mind like a log truck: Hard to steer away from its current course and generally wooden. She wasn't a bad person, and certainly not a bad manager and agent. She ran over most resistance in her way by way of sheer tenacity and hardheadedness, so her managing to bring the Doctor anywhere he didn't want to be wasn't surprising. She was bone-thin, with brown hair tied in a bun over her head to give her a few more much needed inches that even her high heels couldn't do.
Jeremy asked the Doctor similar questions to what he had asked Rose. The half-Time Lord did his best to answer, but Rose's proximity was definitely making him nervous, she could tell.
He then repeated the request for the picture, to which the Doctor dutifully replied, "'Course I'd have no problem with that, if the Miss don't mind."
"Of course not." She answered passively. They looked at each other then, not sure what to do with themselves to make the picture any good.
"Just look at me and smile," Jeremy saved them. They obliged and soon it was over. Rose turned to leave. Janica grabbed her arm, twirled her around and spoke,
"Rose love, this is Doctor Theodore Doctor- I know! Funny name- he works here and as you know he came up with the Regeneration Plan."
Rose resigned herself to speaking with him, but couldn't help a smirk at the name he chose for himself or his scheme.
"Regeneration Plan?"
"You know, to make the town all spiffy again." Explained Janica, but the two were just looking at each other. Rose couldn't tell what expression her own face displayed. She had spent so long putting up a strong mask, she wasn't sure who she was without the mission anymore. The softness in the Doctor's eyes spoke volumes.
"Rose Tyler." He said, eyes laughing. Her rolled her last name off his tongue like he used to, and Rose felt a now familiar unlikely surge of both agitation and butterflies swell within her.
"Doctor." She answered with a smile. There was a long moment of silence. Jeremy and Janica just looked on, confused.
"You two know each other?" She asked.
"Yeah, you could say that." The doctor said, breaking eye contact first and turning to address the woman, "We... err... travelled together for a while, some time back."
It was killing Rose to look at him, just within arm's reach. He wasn't really there. That's what killed her. It was a mirage of the man she was in love with. Her real love ran away when he had the chance to be with her. Left her with... something she couldn't understand, explain, or come to terms with yet.
"Thanks for the speech... Theodore..." The name was awkward and she couldn't for the life of her understand why he chose it. "But I've got to dash. It's getting late and I've got to catch the last bus back downtown..." She ended lamely. He smiled at her, no hurt visible on his face or in his eyes, and she wondered what he felt or thought about all this. It's been awhile since they've spoken.
"Oh!" Janica exclaimed, getting a glint in her eye that Rose immediately was wary of, "Doctor can drive you home!" She then batted her over-masaca'd lashes at him, "If you don't mind me volunteering you, of course." She mewed insincerely, "You know how long it takes this time of night to get downtown in public transit..."
"Of course it's not a problem, if the lady doesn't mind."
She couldn't think of an excuse fast enough and it was arranged.
The Doctor drove a practical car. It was a trusty European model, small and compact, but roomy on the inside. Rose mentioned this with a smile when she sat down in the passenger seat.
"Bigger on the inside, innit?"
The Doctor gave her a lopsided grin, "Hardly to my standards. D'you like the color?"
"It's the perfect shade of blue." She admitted wistfully, knowing he was just making small talk to help her avoid discomfort. On his end, as he buckled up and pulled out of the driveway, there seemed to be no awkwardness. He was perfectly at ease after that first bit of nervousness when he saw her. She wondered at it, but couldn't bring herself to wonder it aloud. It would force them to talk about all those messy things she wasn't quite ready for yet.
"Theodore?" She asked instead, amused.
"Theodore Herbert Eugene Doctor." He said, chuckling.
"What brought about that mouthful?" Why was his smile still so contagious?!
"The initials, actually."
"T.H.E. Doctor..." She couldn't help but laugh out loud, "That's hilarious!"
"Also Theodore starts with 'The' and with a name like that, no one's too plussed about just calling me 'Doctor'."
"Doctor of what?"
"I thought a while about it, but Pete and I narrowed down the list to history, astrophysics and anthropology."
"Dad?"
"Yeah," A frown passed over his face and he said a little tensely, "We've been keeping in touch."
She knew from his tone that it wasn't meant as criticism at her, and she looked out the window pensively. She had withdrawn from her mum, dad and her new little brother, too. Everything, everyone. She just needed time to accept this new reality.
"It's been what, three months since we came back?" She tried.
"Three months, three days and two hours."
"It wasn't night when-"
"It was seven o'clock in Norway. The sun doesn't set there for a while yet this time of year."
"You've been counting the days?" Her heart pinched, with both sympathy and agitation
She hated the duality of all her feelings, wherever he was involved.
"I'm good at keeping track of time." Was his grinning reply, flashing her a toothy smile. It was the same smile, and the butterflies it kicked in her stomach made her look away again.
"I'm sorry," She started, "I wouldn't have come if-"
"What have you been up to?" He interrupted deliberately. "Still at Torchwood?" She let it slide, instead answered,
"Nah, I've taken a step back. I'm on a purely consulting basis now, only when they're completely stumped."
"Yeah, you and me both." He paid a moment's attention to the road, pausing to turn into a busy intersection. Then he continued, "Told'em to call me if and only if the whole world and/or creation are at stake." He gave her another smile, "They haven't yet. It's been brilliant, the last three months."
She looked at his profile as he drove, surprised. It was night already and streetlights and car lights illuminating him for a moment here, and moment there. Wasn't he even a little torn up, like she was? Wasn't he a little confused? Did he even care that he had not seen her in the last three months?
She couldn't know. He had said he loved her, but when she pulled away, he protested only once. Saying "I know how you feel." She had yelled at him then, just arguing that there's no way he could possibly understand. That's the last they've spoken until today.
He was a mystery to her, even though she knew him so darn well. Knew him better than she knew herself in some ways, but her own turmoil clouded her judgment. She was mature enough to know this, so she refrained from any conclusion, currently. She looked out the window. Traffic flashed by, leaving streaks of light in her vision.
"I didn't know you could drive." She said after long minutes of silence passed.
He laughed. "Yeah, I was exiled to Earth a long time ago. Joined UNIT and had a friend who happened to be a car."
She couldn't keep the smile off her atmosphere wasn't as tense as she feared being locked in a car with him for 40 minutes would be. And she strongly suspected he was doing it on purpose.
His profile was perfect, and just how she loved it. His nose, the wrinkles around his eyes, and his thin lips. All the little imperfections she had grown to love, and then grown to mourn, then grown to hope to see again, and then...
She tried to speak any of her worries, but nothing came out. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but she wanted to say something. He didn't understand what she was going through. How could he? She wanted to explain.
She leaned her head against the window and just pondered his reflection for a long while before she dozed off.
He shook her awake, and she opened her eyes to see his soft brown eyes looking tenderly down on her.
The Doctor.
Her handsome, impossible Doctor. The man she tore through the very walls of reality to get to, the man she stood up to the Emperor of the Daleks for. Still caught in the grips of some unremembered dream, she threw her hands around his neck. It took just a moment, and it was the strangeness of his smell that really woke her up. He no longer smelled of strange, alien things, but very human cologne and shampoo. She drew back, blushing and fretting with her hair behind her ear. She dared not look at him, instead unbuckling herself and opening the door.
"How did you know where I live?" She muttered, stepping out of the car then added a hasty "Oh, I mean thanks." He was still at the wheel.
"I'm in touch with your parents." He repeated, looking a bit evasive. "I'll see you 'roud, yeah?" He called from inside the car, shifting gears to leave. They promised to stay out of each other's way. It was more complicated than that, but...
"Hey." She said, still not closing the door.
"Hmm?" He fussed with the car, setting it in reverse.
"I have another interview about the library tomorrow... You wanna... maybe... meet up after? Will you be 'round?"
She owed him at least an explanation, she figured. His brows shot up.
"Uh, yeah! Sure!" He smiled at her, suddenly looking a little nervous. She wondered why that made her happy. "I'm there a lot. I work there." before she could regret the invite, he waved and drove away.
I meant it that I wasn't going to be writing new fanfiction, then Doctor Who happened. I'm putting pretty much all my time and effort these days into my original webcomics, Seraphim: Tales of Love and Courage, but Doctor Whoooooo...
I've been writing this one slowly, so expect the next update in a week or two. While Donna was my favourite companion, Rose and Ten's relationship was my favourite romance. Rose was amazing. She was vulnerable and brave, not very book learned but deeply wise, and just the amount of joy the two drew from being together in the same space was incredible. In this story I wanted to explore the mess it must have been for the two of them to learn to love each other again, each having lost so very much.