I want you safe, I want you happy, I want you whole.

Don't own 'em, just love'em-Wished ta hell I worked for Kripke

wWw

For some love lasts a lifetime. For some it goes further than that. Doing what ever it takes to care for the needs of the ones we leave behind is sometimes just the beginning.

wWw

If you're reading this now then that means you found my lock box. And if I'm not there kicking your ass for discovering my stash than I must be dead. And since there's only a few people ...and less Things that I'd trust with the whereabouts of this storage place I guess you must be one of them.

So here's the deal. If you don't know already I want you to know that Dean Winchester is real. All the stories and legends you've heard are mostly true as unbelievable as they are. And I knew him.

More importantly I fell in love with him.

Since you know that I am Fey you already know what that means and that I still have a promise to keep to him. An everlasting one.

So here goes: I charge YOU, now, as the holder of this document that as of this moment, you have been cursed by the spell I put upon it to fullfil my last wishes.

To understand what they are in my heart of hearts and to make it your life's duty to carry them out I make this binding spell part of your own bond to me and that it lasts until the day you die.

I'd like to say I'm sorry for laying that on you but knowing me, and what I was, you had to know that someday this would come and it is the price you paid for my friendship.

And now you have to know my heart for you to understand the depth of this commitment. As you read you will be ushered back in time to a place in my life and all your senses will be as mine. You will relive those moments where that bond between me and my beloved was formed and what compels me will compel you too. My heart and yours will be as one and you will be forever mindful of the desire to protect, uplift and sustain his life.

And so it begins:

That night was not the first time I'd been with him but it was the last.

As he lay beside me in the bed he was...he was just so perfect, that special mix of beauty and strength. My eyes looked onto his and I was stunned again by how long his Lashes were and how large and expressive his eyes always were when he gazed upon me...when he was up close like that...like he was drinking me in...memorizing me. The color of his eyes were the most amazing combination of moss green with flecks of warm copper encircled by the kind of dark teal ring I'd only ever seen in the Fey. And he'd always run them all over my face as if he could taste my love for him through them. Then I'd sigh and he'd smile.

That smile brought us home. In each others arms were were home. Or as close to home as either of us could ever be in this world.

The skin on his chest was so soft, I knew I would never forget the velvety smooth firmness of it. Or that tattoo. It's jarring black star with spiky flame circle always seemed to me to be an insult to the pale flesh and smattering of freckles hovering above it. But he wore it like a badge of necessary evil. No apologies, no explanation needed.

When he pressed close and those full lips lightly brushed against my collar bone I was surrounded by his scent and my vision blurred a moment. He smelled like vanilla car air fresheners, leather, a cloying scent of gun oil and cinnamon. God damn cinnamon! Like pie or something.

As he began to lick, kiss and nip his way up my neck I moaned out his name in a low sigh,"Deeeaaannn!" And when I said his name I felt the press of his lips smile against my jawline. Every patch of skin on my body was constantly jealous of where his lips were and wanted them to move along to their own secret area soon.

In contrast to the softness of those lips were the callouses of his hands. Slightly roughened thickness on the finger where he needed to pull triggers. Or the thumb where he threw the silver blades. His hands were strong, his meaty thick fingers running oh so gently over all the curves my body wanted him to touch.

His arms were strong too. He'd give me a look of mischief mixed passion and I'd feel a quick squeeze of my butt and suddenly I'd be over him and gazing down on that lovely face. He'd brace me, with hands placed gentlemanly over each breast, looking up to worship the cupped flesh in each and give me that same quick smirk before sitting slightly up to wrap that perfect "O" of his mouth around his prize. I only had enough time to admire his abs flex before the sensation of his warm tongue across my nipple arched my back in pleasure.

Instant warmth spread between my legs as I felt my own moisture flood into me and I ground my hips against the length of hardening heat I felt beneath his briefs.

Another assault of rough moisture from his tongue against my breasts and I was grabbing the back of his head to press his talented mouth firmer around them when -flip- in one bounce I was back down, cradled, below him and helping him free himself from the restraining briefs.

Our eyes locked again but that night he paused and his mouth quirked down-and in that moment I saw a look of grief. And I knew. This was to be our last goodbye.

I pressed my small fingers up against his lips and whispered "shush." He propped himself up on one elbow and I caught a brief full view of all his magnificent nakedness beside me.

I couldn't stand to see one moment of sadness on the face of this man. Our times together had been joy filled and passion filled and were ever only meant to be a time of stolen happiness from the war torn savagery of our lives -out there.

I resolved to say the words for him, so that he wouldn't have to and he listened silently as I went on about duty and danger and all the rest of the bullcrap you tell someone you're never going to see again...because it's safer for them if you don't and you both know it would have ended sometime soon anyway by the finality of this job and neither of us wanted to get that news about the other. And just when I was about to run out of things to say he slid his head back down and rested it across his arm and looked sadly up at me.

He pressed his lips together tight, swallowed and I could see his adams apple bob and hitch once. Then his eyes softened and he gently ran his large warm hand down my arm and looked back up with such regret filled eyes that I broke my promise right then and there.

I'd promised him years ago I'd never tell him that I loved him and I made him swear to me to return the favor coz in this line of work, and with one of us not being entirely human ( Fey is close but not quite) it doesn't pay to have entanglements beyond casual encounters. You can't afford to develop a weak spot that could be used against you ( or anyone you cared about) if cornered by a fugly. It was a good arrangement at the time, but suddenly now I saw it for what it was; an excuse for neither of us to get close.

So I blurted it out, "Dean Winchester goddammit I love you! I've never loved anything before this moment with the largeness of what I feel for you now, why, I can see eternity every time I look into your eyes and that is just...just... more than I ever hoped to feel in this godforsaken world ever...and you gave that to me. You gave me more feelings in this old heart than thousands of years of living ever taught me. And I'm grateful. And you know my kind don't take their commitments lightly...you...loved me...for those times we've been together there was no world out side that could touch us...nothing existed but you...and me. And you rocked me the way no one ever has...to my very core. And the way I feel about you...my kind...you know we don't usually feel this kind of depth... I just want everything the best for you. I want you safe, I want you happy and I want you whole and I know that is a lot to ask for in this life or ever hope for in our work but I pledge to you, for you are my true beloved, that I will forever hold you in my heart and see that it is so."

The whole time I was spilling my soul out to him I watched his smile slowly grow as he looked up to me and then it was his turn to put his two massive fingers up and still my lips.

And he quietly said, "Shut up and let me hold you one more time." And he wrapped his arms around me and brought me down to his lips and we made love with a passion almost a fierceness for what we knew would be our last and later he touched me, caressed me all over as if he wanted to remember every inch of my form through the tips of just his fingers by themselves. And when I left his sleeping form all tangled up in the bedsheets of the motel I made up my mind to enact the very spell in which you are now under.

So I charge you again: Enlist whatever help you have to have to keep him safe. Find some one to keep him happy and heal some of the war wounds hell dug into him because ultimately I want him as whole as he was in my arms too.

Addendum:

Bobby or Sam if either of you are the ones unlucky enough to be reading this, sorry about the details.

The end

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