This is a story about a certain detective's life told from her perspective. A little more in depth of what we already know. I'll be sure to include the facts but at the same time some things will be added I made up. Starting in the second chapter, she'll be telling her story but it won't be in quotations. When it switches back to her in the psychiatrist's office or anywhere outside of it, then I'll use quotations for dialogue.

I also will include scenes with the other detectives and that will be written in third person.

Also, some parts in the story will be like flashbacks. When the text is in italics, it means Olivia is remembering what happened. The shrink won't know but you will. You'll find out soon enough. ;)

This is also a tester story. I'm trying out this kind of writing and seeing where and how it goes. If you see something that can be improved or you don't understand, please let me know!

Chapter One: Tribulations

Telephones ringing, chattering among the employees, and papers shuffling. Everything sounded and looked normal in the squad room but only four operatives knew there was something that was being hidden. The secret involved two of the four. We all talked amongst ourselves when the lock on the Captain's door clicked, the door opened, and he stepped out.

"Detective, come here please!" Captain Don Cragen called from his office. All four looked his way but he made it obvious which one he wanted to see. He didn't look angry but he did beckon one of his four detectives to his office which often meant it was a serious matter. I stood up and walked towards the boss. All eyes were on the me as they trailed after me into Cragen's office. The other three looked at each other with concern. They tried not to think of the worst but it was hard not to. If it was good then the announcement would've been made in front of everybody. So much has gone on in the past eleven years they began working as a team. Maybe this was just one of those checkups. If it was, then why didn't Cragen give them all a heads up about the evaluation like he usually does? He's singling me out; it's only a sign of trouble and anxiety.

The door closed and everybody fell silent. No more phones being answered, no more chatter, and no more papers. Just the sound of silence and the strong tension amid the room.

"Detective this is Dr. Avery Collins. He's taking over while Dr. Huang is in Beijing for the month." Cragen explained.

The doctor and I shook hands but that didn't help my confusion any less.

"Nice to meet you, Detective." He said. He had cheery blue eyes, almost like crystal, that hid behind glasses. His sandy brown hair was tousled in a professional way but also uncovered his age: young and new. We were around the same height, he was easily a few inches taller. He had straight white teeth that were revealed when he spoke.

A small sigh escaped my lips, expecting a distressing time with an inexperienced psychiatrist talking about God knows what. Cragen didn't say anything about it but I was pretty positive he heard it and didn't like it.

"Captain, how long is this going to take? I have to get started on a case and-"

"Don't worry," Cragen interrupted, "It is imperative that you do this before you go back out on the field. The others can handle the case while you take as much time as you need and handle this." The last sentence was directed more towards Dr. Collins. There was a silence for a few seconds and Cragen spoke up again.

"If there's nothing more, go ahead in the therapy room and begin the examination. I expect good results."

Nodding, we both left the office and into a cozier and quieter room that was Avery's temporary office. It was decorated with a suede couch, leather chairs, and relaxing photos.

"Sit down," Collins offered and gestured towards the suede sofa. Once we were seated, the first words didn't come from the doctor.

"I haven't been late, I haven't been sleeping on the job, I didn't kill anybody recently, and I don't think I let a perp get away unless you know something I don't. There's nothing to discuss. Can I go now?"

"Hold on detective, do you know why you're here?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me."

"Your boss called me in for a few things. He was concerned about your stress level because to him it seems to be affecting your job. So, he called me in to talk about your whole life. The day you were born until now. We can take as much time as we need to get the job done. I'm going to be taking down your state of mind now and when we're finished, I'll see if you've changed any."

"My stress level has not altered my work performance in any way. This is ridiculous."

Avery watched me stand up and storm to the door. He remained seated.

"The beatings of perpetrators for confessions, the abuse of a poisonous drug, you know what I'm talking about. The shrooms-"

Irritation instantly hit me. I whipped around, "Those perps asked for it! Plus, I was involuntarily exposed to whatever the hell he had in that pot! My boss knows I've never done drugs in my life! You can't use that as a reason to make me stay. I'm fine!" The doorknob was quickly turned but the door only opened to a small crack. It stopped when the shrink finished his sentence.

"And the love interest with your partner proves something in your personal life is conflicting with your work. Your boss frowns upon coworker relationships so we should get that fixed before you return to work. Those are only the major topics. Trust me, there's more. Your boss is very observant. For a detective, you're good a spotting when someone is lying but you're bad at doing it yourself." He sighed and removed his glassed, "Look, I'm only trying to help you here. Not me, not your boss. If you go back there without the progression Captain Cragen is looking for, it'll only make his consideration to remove you from the squad easier."

Silence and tension. As much time as my job takes up and as much stress it causes me, I love it too much to risk losing it. I closed the door and sat back down on the sofa with a huff.

"Good, maybe it's something in your past or present that's been weighing you down but we won't find out until we sort it out chronologically. Maybe you'll discover that it's something you didn't know was still on your mind." He pulled out a notebook and pen and flipped to an empty page. "You can say whatever you want. I'm not going to record anything about your life, just any emotions that might come out of them. Then, I'll evaluate those."

"I've done this before."

The pen clicked.

Avery spoke first, "Please state your full name and your position."

Sighing, I spoke.

"Detective Olivia Benson, NYPD Special Victims Unit."

He smiled and leaned back on the leather chair comfortably.

"Let's begin, shall we?" He said. We both knew that this was going to be a very long process. I was just dreading it more than Avery was.

Side Thoughts: Should I continue it? Penny for your thoughts?