The woman was lying slumped on her side. Her body was lying in a rather deflated manner with her dark silky hair and her even darker sulken mood. She was lost in a dizzying, disarray of disapprovement in herself. She felt herself leave out of her body or the part of her that held an ounce of sanity and proceeded to tell her what-who-she ought to be.
Her alter ego leaned over her-allowing her black hair to fall over onto Kagome's arm.
"So, you're just going to let him go? You're not going to run chasing? You're just gonna let this one go like all the rest?" She spoke, in a rough voice.
Kagome was staring at her dresser in the darkness. "What's the point? I can't keep on fighting for things that might and might not work."
"You don't know if it will or won't work!" her alter ego snapped. "How long have I heard you complain?"
"For a long thirteen years," Kagome said, turning to lie on her back.
"You're going to have to fight for all you want-in this world. You need to," her alter ego emphasized, "otherwise, you'll find that each and every one will get snatched up by other women."
"Is that so bad? I didn't-don't expect much at this point in my life."
"Fight," her alter ego whispered harshly. Her wild eyes were wide wide wide with her mouth pulled back to show her teeth. "Fight like this is your last chance. Fight like there's nothing that can stop you. You only live once."
"I can't. What am I supposed to say? He's a demon. She's a demoness. They belong together."
"Where do you fit in this equation?" her alter ego asked suddenly, propping herself on the bed frame.
"I don't. That's what I'm trying to say," Kagome said, smiling. But, her voice sounded like a drain gargling with something that it couldn't swallow. "I don't fit with anyone. I have issues. I cry constantly. And, I eat too much sugar." She spat, as if her quirks were indicators of someone that should be exiled.
"Everyone does. Life is hard," her alter ego said gently. She took Kagome's face in her hand. "But, if you lay down and let it wash over you, you'll drown."
Kagome roughly pulled herself away, turning away again to rest on her pillow.
"Isn't it easier to just let life run its course over me? To just give in? Fighting is exhausting. And, you don't even know if you'll win-and even if you, what if it still fails? The whole thing-just boom! There's no point," She said, stubbornly.
"Look out the window," her alter ego whispered before wisping away.
Kagome raised her head and stretched her neck. She could see the white limousine parked outside. With the equally matching couple standing casually in casual conversation. Sesshomaru faced away from the house, but she could tell it was him from his tall built figure and all that long long silver hair. He was talking to her-Sayuki-with the crimped blonde bleached hair. And, the powder-dusted skin that just had to make her dark black eyes and red lips come alive. In all that Dolce and Gabbana crap.
Kagome buried her hot face in that cool pillow for comfort and suffocation. What was she supposed to do? Pull Sesshomaru aside and tell him she made a mistake. He already gave her too many chances. He asked her just before he was turning to leave.
"I have a home in the westside near Bath. But, if this is it, then I'll say goodbye. I'd best be on my way."
Kagome knew that he knew. She was lying rather pathetically in her black tank top and boxers under the sheets, refusing to get up. Refusing to eat. She had started a fable that she was so unwell that it was impossible to join the rest for breakfast. It was impossible for her to get up and join the rest. She did feel unwell. But, the why was distorted. To save her ego, perhaps? To save her dignity? She was not one of the other silly girls that chased those fleeting ribbons of the heart.
She propped herself up with her left arm, still facing away from him.
"I wish you the best, Sesshomaru," she spoke coldly, turning her head not to face him but to let him know she was addressing him.
He paused on the stairs, the door left ajar. She counted the exact amount of seconds he had paused before the door clicked shut. Those seconds would come back to haunt her, she was sure. Those seconds would manifest themselves in many ways for release from their captive state. She would snap at a random person in a seemingly random incident. She would let silent tears fall when she's alone and the house is quiet. Those seconds would become tangible in tally marks on her arms. Those seconds would be released!
Unless Kagome found another way-
What her mind was telling her to do was ludicrous! How could she? Stripped bare already and stripped even bare-er from her proclamations of something called love. She would be a fool, for sure.
Throughout time, people have made earthquakes of change based on this feeling. A little boy named Kohaku with the title of lame was, unbeknownst to himself, chipping away at the first wooden prosthetic that would end up making him a billionaire. An imp by the name of Jaken was simply waiting for a special person to come by and help him recognize his own sexuality took leaps from "normal". In one of Japan's hospitals, an insidiously evil man was wrapped in bandages and suffering from the effects of a fire, clutching a jewel with a wish that would change everything.
The covers were thrown off. The door was swung open. And, an uneven sound of footsteps that rumbled down the stairs could be heard. The second thoughts, that one would have in this situation, would have been right now. Just before she left the house. But, they did not-could not-stop her now.
She forced her bare, sensitive body in the cold November air. Sayuki's eyes narrowed as she glared at her. Sesshomaru noticed Sayuki's glare and turned around.
"Kagome, what are you doing out here? I thought you said you weren't feeling well," he said, stepping closer to her, taking notice of her lack of proper clothing.
"I'm-I'm…" But, the passions and energy had soon died down like a flame in a harsh November cold. And, the strangling feelings of anxiety had taken its place.
'I'm trying to stop you,' she thought internally.
"What?" he said. "Kagome, go back inside. It's not safe out here-"
So, she kissed him, and she was surprised when he did not pull away. She kissed him and let every single second take flight as they were set free. Sayuki gasped, abhorred.
Her coarse voice was wrought with emotion. "For the first time in my life, I'm stating what I want. Sesshomaru, you can't marry Sayuki. I won't allow it," she said, gathering Sesshomaru's hands. "I love you," she said, speaking as plainly and as obviously as possible.
The two beings did not know what to do with this sudden change in her. Her sudden decision to take initiative-her drive to dominate and take what she saw as hers-it was unexpected. It was inspiring. It was how she ended up by the fireplace in a comfortable chair, somewhere in the westside near Bath. A suspiciously large bump protruded from her belly and an even more suspicious small character of black and silver hair was in a crib resting beside her.
A deep husky voice called from the kitchen,
"Breakfast's ready."
Kagome turned around, her wild brown eyes were wide wide wide with happiness.
"I'm not feeling well," she said, with a charming smile.
And, the why was clear.
