Thank you for reading. This is kind of my view on how Sakura feels about Naruto and Sasuke at the moment. It is set just before they arrive at the battle field.
The rain continued to pour; it had been like this for what felt like days. The injured were now being brought to them less often. That had to be seen as a good thing. They now had time to think that however was a bad thing, a very bad thing. When you were working, when there were things to do, you didn't have to think about what was really going on around you. When there was a lull like this, there was nothing to stop you thinking about the things you had pushed aside.
What she was thinking about, as she watched the rain pounding on the tent from her set on the wood bench by the opening , was them. Both of them.
Most people that knew them, or heard of them would think, say they were as different as fire and ice. They would be right too, most of the time. They just didn't know them as well as she did. Yes it was clear to see that Naruto was fire fierce, passionate and warm, and that Sasuke was Ice, cold sharp and straight to the point. When you knew them better, looked closely at them you could see that sometimes, in some ways it was the other way round. Naruto could hide his feelings, but on a mask better than anyone she knew. Sometimes, if you were unlucky you cloud see a look in his eyes that could chill you to the bone. Sasuke was drive not by power, but by a burning desire to avenge his family. They were both fire and ice combined. Such powerful forces, god knows what would happen when they finally clash again.
Their clash was inevitable; it had been from the very start. Such forces were bound to clash at some point. In a strange way it was not their clash that was worrying her, it was the aftermath. No matter how strong she was, tried to be, she would still never be as strong as them. Yet she was going to be the one left behind, picking up the pieces. That was what worried her, if she was strong enough for that. What Naruto said the last time team 7 was all together rang through her head.
The thought, the very idea that she could lose the both of them was to much for her. She never let herself think about that possibility, she couldn't. Now with nothing to keep her mind from thinking about it, it was all that she could think about. Couldn't stop herself. Her face was shanking a little from the tension of forcing the tears to not fall from her eyes. When it became to much she shut her eyes, and kept them like that. The tears that slide down her checks were both hot and cold, like them.
She loved them both.
That was the one thing that she knew for sure about her feelings for them. She loved them both; they were the most important people to her. They were her reason and inspiration for getting stronger. Keeping her going when all she wanted to do was give up. All she had to do was think of them either one of them and that would be enough to keep her going. Thinking about all they had been through, and yet they kept on going, never giving up. Made her feel that she too could keep going, that she had no excuse for giving up.
Loving Sasuke was a mistake, she knew that. He would never return her feelings like she wanted. It was only hurting her by still caring for him. She knew all of this, yet she couldn't stop herself. It was more than the selfish, girlish crush she had years ago. He was her teammate; fellow ninja form the hidden leaf village. No matter what he did, those were facts that could not be changed.
He was her first love. That was something special that could be taken away either. It was also unchangeable, no matter how many other men she loved throughout the rest of her life. He would always be the first. It had started off based solely on his skills and looks. Once they were on a team together she got to know him, really know him. She so badly wanted to help him, gain his trust and respect. In a way she still did. While her feeling had not been deep, they had been strong and left a lasting in print on her.
Now she wanted to stop him, whatever that took. She couldn't bear to see him fall anymore. She needed there to still be a piece of the person that she loved. If killing him would stop him before everything about the person she knew had been eaten away, then that was what she would do. In the end though, she couldn't, she wasn't strong enough. Hurting a teammate, friend, someone you love no matter what they have done is never easy. Sometimes like with her, it was also impossible.
Saving him from himself was not her only reason for doing what she did. Naruto's safely, wellbeing was also a major factor in her actions. He love for him had crept up on her, unlike with Sasuke she never knew the strong of her feelings till someone forced her to look at the situation.
He had annoyed her, but he was always there. Her support, her comfort, her friend and now her second love. It pained her to think of how long it had taken her to see how she felt. All the time she missed. She was a smart person, she knew he liked her. When he came back though he was different, she thought it was a crush he got over. In fact she was happy not to deal with it. They became closer, as she saw how much he had, and was suffering.
All she wanted to do from that point on was help him, but he never yet her, not really. He was so used to doing everything for himself, taking care of himself. It would be hard to let someone in. the more time that went on, the more she wanted so badly to be the person that he let him, trusted enough to do that with. He could do, be so much. If he could just open up, trust someone enough to help him. She wanted more than anything to be that person.
Like her first love, this love would never go away. It was part of her. It made her who she was. If it wasn't for Naruto's presence in her life, she would not be the person she is now. His love made her strong. He made everyone stronger. He was always surprising her, and everyone else. When she thought she had him figured out, he surprised he. That was what she loved about him. That and how essay it was to be around him. He had a pull that drew people to him, by just being himself.
She had told them both that she loved them. Looking back, with Sasuke it was more to do with the desperation to get him to stay. What she said all that was the truth. Desperation and pains just took over her. She just so baddy didn't want what was happening to be real. It was going to change everything; she wasn't ready for that, to grow up.
Telling Naruto hadn't gone well either. She meant all she said, but when he doubted her, she went to far and lied. A lie she knew he would see through, that Sasuke meant nothing to her. She had given him no reason to believe her words, before she said them. She didn't blame him for not believing her, it was her own fault. She just wanted to say those words to him, before it all changed again. If she could do what she set out to, then what. He would hate her. She could live with that. If him hating her meant he was alive, safe and free from the pain she caused then she would happily live with that. He had to know she loved him, before he hated her.
Her words to them about her feelings, while spoken in despatrion to be heard and stop them from moving away from her, had been careful to leave out one word. One extra word that changed the three words she already said, and meant. That added weight and power to already life changing words.
In.
She had never said that she was in love with either of them. There was a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. There were many people she loved, not as much as them, but people she would still say she loved. Loving someone was caring about them. Thinking about them. Wanting them to be happy, safe, get all and that they wanted and deserved.
Being in love with someone was as it said, being in so deep that there was no going back.
Green blood shot eyes opened, to same rain they closed on. A question that she couldn't shack kept nagging at her. Who was she in love with. She knew she was in love with one of them. The pain, ache in her chest from worrying and not being able to see them, know what was going on, what was happened to them. That kind of pain could only come from being in love with someone. It was so deep, and all-consuming at times and never fully left her. That was the price for letting someone in so much. They could hurt you so badly, as well as make you happier than you ever thought you could be.
Letting out a deep sigh, she pulled herself to her feet. Dusting of the dirt from her clothes, she attempted to shack of her thought. Push them to the back of her mind and find some work to do to keep them from creeping up on her again.
As she did this, an image came to her, and name rang out in her head. She slightly bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. She had her answer, she knew who she was in love with. As happy as she was, it was quickly pushed away. Pure dread washed over her. What if she lost him.
The thought of him had warmed her, but it also chilled her, to think she might not get to tell him how she really felt. Like she knew him to be, he was fire and ice at the same time. Even her feelings for him were like that. Their relationship as a whole had been like that, hot and cold. That was why she was in love with him, he was everything to her. The good and bad, she loved all of him. Accepted him faults and all, loved them in fact. She took him for he exactly who he was, and knew he would do the same for her.
After all, he had found something nice to say about the thing she liked the least about herself, her forehead.
Looking out into the distance through the opening of the tent, she wanted to see him walking towards her. Knowing that wasn't going to happen, she let herself smile and little, and focus on him, drawing him back to her.
"Come back….Naruto."
I know it was pretty obvious who she was in love with, I just wanted to have a little fun. I thought about leaving the name out, but I thought it was best to put it in I hope that you liked it.