I always knew I never belonged to just one faction, so it certainly wasn't a shock to realise I was Divergent. Erudite and Dauntless were always in my blood. The real focus was always one of self-preservation. If anyone had found out then I would be killed.
Growing up in Erudite was a lonesome experience. You can't trust anyone, so making friends had always been out of the question. Keeping myself isolated was a challenge in itself, but I'd rather be seen as an asshole than dead. Finally, when my choosing ceremony arrived, and I knew Dauntless was my route to safety. Fortunately for me, it worked out nicely, getting in the good books of the leaders and becoming one myself. Hiding in plain sight worked well... for a while anyway.
"I've found a way to live with the blood on my hands... but can you?"
In my last moments, I let a small truth slip out. Obviously, it was calculated, of course it was - but it was still the truth. But learning to live with what you've done and forgiving yourself are two separate things.
People are intimidated by me. I can feel it. They stop talking as I walk by, avert their eyes from mine when I look at them. I intended to keep it that way. That's what had kept me alive all this time. Hunting the Divergent was just another method. Prove myself useful, loyal to the cause, and they're gonna want to keep me around. Killing, sure, it gets easier as a physical act. After a while you build up an immunity, you ignore the fact that you've just ended a life - but their faces always come back in my nightmares. When I get back home, when the mindless chatter stops, when I don't have paperwork to concentrate on, when it's just me and my thoughts… that's when it gets too much. I don't like to spend a lot of time alone.
Of course, none of that matters now, but I have no regrets. I'd done what anyone else would have done. I kept myself alive as long as I could. I'd gone down with a fight, though my heart wasn't in it. I knew what was coming next. My measured words wouldn't be enough to put out the fire in his eyes.
I'm not afraid of death. Though I've worked hard to keep my secret, I've always known I was at risk. And besides, Dauntless isn't really the faction to choose if you're hoping for a long and happy life. It's somewhat satisfying to know that even though I know this is it for me, I've managed to keep the truth hidden. I'll take the knowledge of my Divergence to the grave.
Four lifts the gun, pointing it straight at my face. I close my eyes and brace myself for the inevitable.