DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way shape or form, own the characters from Law & Order: SVU. They are created by Dick Wolf and I will forever love him for it. I am using these characters and the basis of this television show purely for entertainment and am not making any form of profit off of the writing of this piece. (AKA: It's not mine. Don't sue. Thanks.)

Not a Day Goes By

SUMMARY: When Olivia Benson is brutally attacked, pulls away from her squad and starts to slip into self-destructive patterns, can her make-shift family pull together to fix the wounds that are tearing the SVU detective apart at the seams?

A/N: First L&O fanfic ever. Kind of scary, I know. And I do hope you like it…because I'd love to have someone like my work…I would feel special. Just so you know how I work, my A/Ns at the beginning of a piece are always written before the chapter is written. The ones at the end (which are usually less rambling and more of a final summation) are written after I conclude the chapter. All chapter titles are song titles, and I don't own those either. Period. End of discussion. Finally, I know what I'm writing about, for the most part, and while some facts may be off, I'll apologize in advance. However, the feelings are real. As real as I can write them, at least, and that's how it is. I love constructive criticism. I enjoy reviews period. And I take flames into consideration…then I usually laugh and ignore them because I don't need the stress in my life. So there we go. Have fun and enjoy. Finally….(yes I know already said finally) this is an overdone concept. I get that. But I think I can put a slightly different spin on it.

Without further ado...

CHAPTER ONE: The Deepest Blues are Black

As Olivia Benson stumbled into the bull pen of the 1-6th precinct, she had enough wits about herself to flip on the light at her desk and glance at the time on a nearby clock. It was 4:47 in the morning, and there wasn't anyone else around yet. Her shambled attire consisted of black sweat pants, torn in a few places and stained with her own blood, a grey hooded sweatshirt that appeared to be a few sizes too big – possibly belonging to someone else – and a sloppy pony tail that exposed her battered and bruised face to the world. Her hoodie was decorated with the same rips and bloodstains as her pants. To any person anywhere, the brown eyed detective appeared to have been brutally attacked and was about to fall apart at any moment. Still, Benson was strong; surviving had been her main goal, and she had definitely crawled away from a brutal attack alive.

Nothing, however, could change the shame the special victims detective felt as she sat carefully in the chair at her desk, resting her head in her arms on the metal surface. The woman had let herself fall victim to the crime she devoted her own life to preventing. The independent and brave woman had turned into a weak, vulnerable mess who wanted nothing more than to fall off of the face of the planet. The worst part, though, was that the events of the previous night and morning had been entirely her fault. Glancing at the clock again, Olivia realized she had a good hour and a half before anyone showed up to the workplace. And, still amazed at no one questioned her as she limped into the building slowly and moved directly to the elevators, flashing her shield at the security officers in the main lobby, the detective turned on her computer and pulled up paperwork that needed to be finished. Even if she couldn't focus, at least she could pretend that the assault she had suffered through hadn't broken her.

Olivia had only filled in two or three lines of the sheet when people started arriving to the workplace. The bustle began as uniformed officers glanced her direction while they started to make coffee or begin their daily jobs, but the way the bruised woman stared at her desk and didn't respond to her surroundings prevented anyone from approaching her. Until approximately 6:30 in the morning, Olivia remained undisturbed at her desk, every moment trying to push the memories of the previous night and early morning behind her. She shoved away all feelings until Elliot Stabler, her partner of many years, entered the room, beating his captain for one of the few times ever. His first glance at his partner was enough to make his mind race.

Covered in bits of dried blood, cuts, and bruises, his female companion barely looked like herself. It was obvious she hadn't slept and that something had gone seriously wrong. Elliot hoped against all hope that his best friend hadn't been subjected to the worst horror that was possible to inflict on a person; he silently prayed to his god that Olivia Benson had not been raped. Observing her silently until someone who could help him appeared, Stabler attempted to take in the damage. The brown haired detective was slouched over in her chair, playing with a pen between her thumb and knuckles in a feeble attempt to occupy herself. There were so many bruises on her face that Elliot had to take in a deep breath to even look at her. The pain was evident with every move his partner made.

The sound of his captain's voice pulled Elliot from his watchful Reverie. Don entered the bull pen and stopped to look at the two detectives that had arrived before him. Quickly noticing Olivia's state, he stopped. Attempting to piece what he was seeing together and coming up with very little, Cragen spoke first, "What the hell happened?"

Olivia's flinch was the only sign that she had heard his voice. The bald man started to move toward the woman that was like his daughter, but the male detective stuck an arm out to stop him. "Give me a moment," the dark haired man requested. He stepped around the desks and knelt next to the female. He gently placed a hand on her knee, and she jerked away, nearly tipping the rolling chair over. Elliot caught it and made sure it didn't fall. Slowly and gently, he put his hand back on her knee, not letting the injured woman pull away from him this time, "Liv, it's me. It's Elliot."

His partner looked up, then away just as quickly. He saw the pain in her chocolate eyes and his heart broke with the thought of what some bastard did to her. Continuing on, he spoke once more, "How long have you been here, Baby?"

"Don't. Call. Me. Baby," Olivia emphasized each word as she spoke it, even though her voice was soft and raspy.

"I won't call you that," Elliot responded quietly. "Can you just tell me how long you've been here?"

"Since four-fifty."

"Why'd you come here," Elliot questioned, trying his hardest not to set himself get upset with whoever hurt his girl.

"Safe."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Olivia didn't look up, nor did she respond to the growing circle of people around her. Casey, her captain, and Detectives Munch and Tutuola had all gathered around the desk, gasping at the sight of their coworker. She didn't answer, so Elliot asked the question one more time. His voice was a bit more confident this time, but was still laced with concern and love, it was a warmth he always used with victims.

"I didn't mean to," said Olivia. "I didn't mean to."

Elliot shook his head, preparing to give up. Olivia wasn't going to talk to him, but Novak could tell by Olivia's body language that she was simply scared of Elliot. Perhaps she was scared of men because one had hurt her, or maybe she was scared of disappointing her partner. Casey didn't need to know, she just had to make an attempt at getting Olivia to open up. She silently waved Elliot away from the female detective and knelt down next to her. The ADA whispered kind words to her friend and identified herself before ever touching the other woman. She gently placed her hands on Olivia's and started pushing for information, "Look, it's you and me. Just us right now. Please tell me what happened."

Looking into Casey's eyes, the other woman slowly opened her mouth to speak. Her words were soft, but the attorney could still make them out, "I let him rape me."

"It's okay. I promise," Novak began speaking to her friend in a caring voice. "Let's go to the hospital. You need to have all of these injuries looked at and a rape kit performed."

Olivia shook her head violently, "Can't. Won't."

"Why not," Elliot chimed in. He hadn't moved far from his previous perch. After all, this was Olivia Benson and he cared about her more than almost anyone in the world. He cringed when she jumped at his voice and realized that someone had really worked a number on her. Casey closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, trying her hardest to remain calm.

"He'll kill me," the Detective stated softly.

Elliot put his hand on her shoulder only to have it jerked away from him. He hung his head in defeat, but spoke anyway, "I won't let him hurt you, Liv. Not if you tell me who it is and let us help you."

Olivia looked at Casey again, who nodded in agreement with Detective Stabler's comments. No one else had made any attempt to speak to the detective and Cragen had already ushered everyone back to their desks, letting Elliot and Casey handle Olivia at the moment. She seemed, however, to have no intention of moving or getting help. Yet, maybe the two were getting through as Olivia started to nod that it was all right. Everyone watched on as Casey assisted the brown haired woman in standing and Elliot draped his coat over her shoulders. It seemed that Benson was slowly coming to trusting the man's touch, and she willingly accepted Casey's assistance as they ushered her from the bull pen. Elliot glanced at his supervisor, receiving a nod from the captain in support, and the three left through the doors of the room and got on the elevator.

"What the hell?" Munch questioned willingly.

Cragen shook his head, attempting to clear his head from the sight he'd just witnessed. Munch looked at his supervisor one more time. He was talking again, "I said…'What the hell?'"

"Don't ask me," Don responded exasperatedly. "Just don't, because I don't know any more than you do right now. Just…everyone work on paperwork until you get further orders, we don't have any new cases yet."

With that, Cragen retreated into his own office. He made a quick call to Elliot requesting to be informed of anything new in one of his best detective's condition and sat in his chair, resting his head in his hands, wishing he could make a difference.

In Mercy General Hospital's Emergency Room, Elliot stood outside of the door to an exam room when Olivia requested to have Casey present during the rape kit examination. Olivia waited patiently as a nurse helped her to disrobe and then placed her clothing in a plastic bag to be kept for evidence. A naked Olivia completely ignored the presence of the rape crisis counselor in the corner of the room. The blonde ADA helped Olivia put on a hospital issued gown – paper thin and doing nothing for the cool climate of the room they were in. She watched as her good friend shook from both fear and being cold. A doctor entered the room and introduced himself, but Olivia pulled away at the sound of a male's voice. Casey held Olivia's hand and glanced at the doctor, "If you don't mind, I think we would prefer a female physician."

The ADA's voice was completely professional and the doctor seemed to understand as he left the room to get a different doctor. Casey hadn't seen Olivia cry, but was certain a waterfall of tears wasn't far from the surface. The woman had been nothing but strong since her squad had stumbled upon her this morning. She spoke very little and shied away from a man's touch and voice, but aside from that, Olivia had not let on any sign of real weakness. Casey simply stayed with her friend and hoped that this would all be over with soon.

The door to the exam room opened and Casey saw Elliot waiting impatiently outside. She offered a small smile that the man responded to with a nod and she listened as a new physician introduced herself. She was one Dr. Lane Rickers and was your average super model looking woman with dark brown hair. Casey smiled at the doctor and thanked her for coming in, she then listened with Olivia as the woman explained the procedure.

Within a few seconds, Olivia spoke up, "Look, I'm a special victims detective, and I know the procedure for a rape kit. If you don't mind, I'd just like to get this goddamn humiliation over with and move on with my life. Thank you very much."

Despite the fact that Casey had been shocked by Olivia's outburst, she just gently rubbed the palm of her friend's hand with her thumb as if to say that there was someone there for support. The doctor moved quickly, still explaining each step of the kit as she continued. It started with having the victim – Olivia Benson – answer numerous questions about the attack. The doctor prodded for information with a gentle voice and Casey sat there the entire time, silently offering the moral support that Olivia needed.

"Ms. Benson, I need you to answer yes or no to the following questions, alright?"

Olivia nodded.

"Were you forced to perform oral intercourse?"

"Yes," The detective whispered dejectedly.

There was a scratch of a pen as the doctor marked a box on the paper. She continued, "Were you forced to perform anal intercourse?"

"No."

Casey let out a sigh as the doctor moved on, "Were you forced to have vaginal intercourse?"

"Yes," she choked. Casey wanted to cry, but prevented herself from doing so.

"Did you know the assailant?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip, "I met him at a bar last night. I just wanted to have a good time, meet a man, and ignore my miserable social life for a day. I only know his first name. He invited me over to his place for a chance to get to know him better. I shouldn't have gone alone. I shouldn't have gone at all." The woman was fighting back tears and doing a rather good job at it. She finished her statement, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Casey whispered as the doctor marked the appropriate box on the form. Casey was getting annoyed with the woman's non-chalante attitude, even though she was certain the physician didn't mean it in the way it was being perceived.

Olivia shrugged. They finished the questions. There were questions about whether or not she had showered prior to the exam or cleaned up in any way. She asked if Olivia had anything to drink in case there would be evidence from the oral sex. The brown haired woman snapped numerous times at the doctor, not wanting to answer such stupid questions.

"I already told you," Olivia yelled. "I'm an SVU detective, I know better than to destroy evidence for a rape kit."

Casey tried to soothe her friends nerves, "Olivia, just calm down. You said you didn't want an exam, and the doctor has to do her job. You'll be okay, just answer her questions and calm down."

Olivia did.

Once the questionnaire was filled out in full, the doctor began taking swabs for physical evidence. She took pictures of all of Olivia's bruises and cuts – not a part of the woman's body was void of at least one bruise. The doctor cleaned up the cuts and applied antibiotic creams to prevent infection. She also bandaged the more serious wounds. Casey watched as her friend jerked away and flinched from pain with each unfamiliar touch.

They sat quietly and Casey backed away as they took x-rays revealing a broken left wrist and three broken ribs. She let Olivia yell at her when the woman couldn't take anymore and maintained physical contact as the nurse drew blood for an STD panel.

The final step of the examination was having emergency contraception administered if the patient chose to do so. Olivia looked at Casey, tears filling her brown eyes, and silently begged for help on the decision. On one hand, the injured woman was aware that she wouldn't be on the planet if her mother had taken emergency contraception or gotten an abortion after her own rape. On the other hand, Olivia didn't want to put her own child through what she had been through as a child, and the detective was scared she couldn't handle it herself.

"It has to be your choice," Casey told her. "But everyone will support you no matter what you choose."

Reluctantly, Olivia took the pill and saved the other to be administered twelve hours later – 8:35 in the evening. She looked to Casey, who nodded and assured her that she had done what was right for herself. The doctor signed off on the paperwork, sealed the rape kit, and went to give it to the necessary people in order for Stabler to take it back to the precinct once Olivia was up and out. The hospital issued a pair of scrubs and some undergarments that Casey slowly assisted Olivia in putting on her body. Her torso was tender from the broken ribs and she was in constant pain. The wrist was placed in a cast and Olivia slowly stood up for Casey to help her walk away from the room.

They opened the door and Olivia saw Elliot waiting for them. She offered a brave smile in his direction. He nodded back and gently ran a hand over her pulled back hair. She didn't pull away from him as she had before, but simply fell into his chest. Elliot hugged her from one side and Casey from the back as heart breaking sobs wracked the once strong woman's tiny frame. They stood together in the same position, supporting their friend, for nearly twenty or thirty minutes until Olivia had calmed herself enough that she was only hiccupping from time to time. They received a few odd looks, but the tall man had cut them off with glares almost immediately. No one would hurt Liv on his watch ever again.

"Liv, should we take you home?"

She responded to Elliot's voice in a whisper, "No. I want to go to the precinct. I'm safer there."

Casey shrugged as Elliot nodded. "All right," He answered her. "To the precinct it is. Come with me, I'll keep you safe."

With one escort on each side, Olivia slowly made her way out of the hospital's emergency room, refusing any other help or a ride in a wheelchair.

A/N: Okay. So there's chapter one. And its pretty bad…so you'll just have to let me know what you think and what to revise. I wrote this while I'm home from school sick…kind of proofread it right now because I can't sleep, and put it up. I'm rating it "T" because of language and, in later chapters, the rape will be described to a greater extent. I'll give fair warning though. I've never read one where Casey is a big part of the healing process for Liv, and I want to explore that…because my best female friend AND my best male friend were such a big part of it for me…and I see a lot of Olivia in me sometimes.

So please review! I'd love you for it! Hopefully I'll update this weekend.