The Three Little Scouts
Disclaimer: I do not own Team Fortress 2 or The Three Little Pigs.
Once upon a freakin' time, there were three little RED scouts and the time came for them to leave home, where the RED spy and the three little RED scouts' mother lived, and seek their fortunes.
Before the scouts left, their mother told them "Whatever you do, do it the best that you can because that's the way to get along in this world."
The first little scout, garbed in his Troublemaker's Tossle Cap, constructed his house out of straw, since he had the least experience in carpentry and handy work. The second little scout, wearing his Backwards Ballcap, constructed his house out of sticks. His carpentry skills surpassed his straw housed brother. The third little scout constructed his house out of bricks, since his carpentry skills were unmatched within the family. He was wearing the Frontrunner with an indifferent style to it.
Later that night, the spy, who happened to be the stepfather of the three little scouts contacted the Big Bad Demoman, who looked like a wolf with his K-9 Mane and Pickled Paws. The spy convinced the Big Bad Demoman to kill his stepsons, using his trusty sticky bomb launcher and loch-n-load. The Big Bad Demoman agreed to the deadly dead, since he could use some extra kills on his weapons, since they were strange.
The Big Bad Demoman, who dearly wanted to upgrade his strange weapons by killing the little scouts, spotted the first little scout in his house of straw.
"Let me in, let me in, little sgoat or I'll blast yer bloody house down with me sticky bombs." the demoman barked.
"No way!" squealed the little scout as he prepared his shortstop.
The demoman stood back a little and blew up the house with the first little scout in it, in pieces from the blast. He made his way to the second little scout's house, the house of sticks.
"Let me in, let me in, little sgoat or I'll blast yer bloody house down with me sticky bombs." the demoman barked.
"No!" squealed the little scout as he prepared his soda popper.
The demoman stood back a little to avoid splash damage and blew up the house with the second little scout still inside, dead and in peaces. He then came to the house of bricks, where the third resided.
"Let me in, let me in, little sgoat or I'll blast yer bloody house down with me sticky bombs." the demoman barked.
"Uhhh no!" squealed the little scout as he prepared his scattergun.
The demoman stood back a little more to avoid the splash damage from his sticky bombs and the potential damage from the bricks. He blew up the house while the third little scout was inside, everything was destroyed, including the little scout's body.
The demoman picked up the little scout's head and chanted "Oh what a wee little miss you are."
The demoman called the spy to confirm that the three little scouts were dead. The spy started laughing maniacally as he heard the news, having disposed of his three little nemeses. The BLU spy and demoman lived happily ever after.
A/N: I intentionally misspelled a few of the words to accommodate for what I hear from Demoman. I hope you readers enjoyed this little gag of the original fairy tale.