Sadly, I own no one. If I did, I'd quit my job and indulge these characters in their fantasies day in and day out. Dick Wolf owns all; I just take them out for a spin.

A/U…how to explain this…set 5 years after "Undercover." In this version, Olivia and Fin developed a relationship in the aftermath of Olivia's assault. I don't want to give too much away, as the back story will be told. Suffice it to say, cannon up until Undercover, then I take over. Oh, and in my world, Elliot never left SVU.

Original story by Bellatrix wannabe 89; rewritten solely at her request. Enjoy!

Warning: This story has a racial theme, so racist language may be used. THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE, merely to make the characters believable. As always, don't like, don't read…that's what the "Back" button is for.

Rating: M

Chapter 1

Present Day

A bright, pink plus sign. Olivia stared at the white stick in her hand as she sat on the closed seat of the toilet. Plus. Her stomach fluttered as she stared in disbelief. It was staring back at her, all of her hopes, dreams and fears were wrapped up in that one little, tiny symbol. A knock on the bathroom door jarred her from her thoughts.

"You gonna be in there all day?" came the slightly irritated voice of her husband, Fin.

"Just a few more seconds!" Olivia yelled. She tossed the stick, along with the box and the instructions into the bathroom trash, sealed up the bag and carried it out with her. "All yours," she said, forcing a smile on her face as she surrendered the bathroom. She deposited the bag in the larger kitchen garbage can before knocking on the second door to the apartment.

"Tina! Are you dressed yet?" Olivia called to her three-year-old daughter. Tina, newly proficient at dressing herself had developed an independent streak lately, insisting that she get dressed all by herself. Wanting to encourage her daughter's independence, Olivia allowed the child an attempt before saying anything.

"Ready, Mommy!" Tina said, flinging open the bedroom door. She had dressed herself in her favorite pink T-shirt with Cinderella on the front, red pants, and her favorite orange sandals. Olivia glanced outside at the snow falling and chuckled.

"Honey, you can't wear that today," Olivia explained calmly. The little girl's lower lip quivered slightly.

"Don't I look pretty?" Tina asked.

"You look stunning, but it's snowing. You'll freeze in those clothes, and we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?" Olivia asked. "Come on, let's find something that you'll be more comfortable in," she added, ushering Tina back into her bedroom. Olivia, with Tina's help, selected jeans, a bright pink sweater with purple butterflies, and black snow boots. Olivia pulled Tina to sit in front of her on the bed as she gently teased the knots out of her hair with a comb.

"What are we doing with your hair today?" Olivia asked.

"Ponytails," Tina answered. Olivia gathered the hair on either side of Tina's head and secured the pigtails with matching pink hair ties. Tina's hair was so different from her own that she struggled to figure out how to manage it, but she was learning. Little by little, it was starting to look more like something stylish and less like an Afro.

"Ok, Little Miss, go brush your teeth and then come get your breakfast," Olivia said, ushering her daughter towards the bathroom while she headed towards the small kitchen of their 2-bedroom apartment.

"Good morning," Fin said, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind as she pulled cereal bowls from the cupboard. He nuzzled her neck, gently kissing her.

"Hey, yourself," Olivia replied, enjoying the moment briefly. It had been four years since they married, and Fin was still as crazy about her as he was on their wedding day. His lips traveled closer to the spot on her neck that was guaranteed to cause a verbal reaction, and was rewarded with the gentlest of moans.

"What's with you this morning?" Olivia asked.

"What, I can't kiss my beautiful wife?" Fin asked, feigning innocence, but refusing to remove his arms from her waist. She turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck, pausing for a proper kiss.

"Of course you can, but if we keep this up, we're going to be late, and I'm not about to listen to Cragen lecture us for the third time this month," Olivia said. Reluctantly, he let her go, giving her a friendly swat on the ass.

"Hey! Watch it, or you won't get any play time later," Olivia mocked.

"Tina ready yet?" he asked, retrieving the cereal and milk while Olivia searched for three clean spoons.

"Brushing her teeth. Tina!" Olivia yelled. No sound. Olivia's face twisted into a look of deep concentration.

"What?" Fin asked.

"It's too quiet," she replied, already heading for the bathroom. She arrived in the doorway just in time to see Tina sticking her toothbrush under the automatic toothpaste dispenser. In the sink below her, a small mountain of blue gel had formed a small pile, and while Tina was using her right hand to dispense more toothpaste, she was busy smearing the gel around the sink with her left.

"Oh, Tina," Olivia sighed. "Fin! I need paper towels!" she yelled towards the kitchen. Olivia pulled Tina away from the sink. "How many times have we talked about this? If you can't do it nicely, then you won't be allowed to do it by yourself anymore, is that what you want?" Olivia explained calmly, but sternly.

"What's wrong, Liv…oh, no," Fin asked, appearing with a roll of paper towels, stopping his question at the sight of the mess in front of him. Olivia handed Tina to Fin and took the roll of paper towels from him.

"Here, take her to our bathroom and clean her up," she said, ripping off a length of the towels and doing her best to scoop the excess toothpaste into the bathroom trash can. Several minutes later, both bathrooms, and Tina, were clean and breakfast was served.

XxXxX

Five years ago…

"What happened in the basement?" Elliot Stabler asked softly, leaning over Olivia's desk. She paused as a haunted look briefly flashed through her eyes. All these years working with sexual assault victims, and she just couldn't bring herself to discuss her own attack, even with the man who she would lay her life down for.

"Nothin'. I'm fine, El," she answered, shuffling the files on her desk. Elliot knew better than that, but he didn't want to push her. He knew that she would come to him when the time was right. As much as she wanted to spill everything to him, whenever she tried, something always held her back. She couldn't force her voice to form the words, no matter how hard she tried. She felt she owed him some sort of explanation, but she saw the same look he gave all of the other victims they worked with. Pity. And she'd be damned before she'd take his pity.

But that evening, she sat at home with her feet drawn up on the sofa, wrapped tightly in a blanket feeling the same, familiar, hollow feeling she had felt every night since her encounter with Harris. She wanted to cry, but her eyes wouldn't form the tears. She wanted to scream, but her vocal cords wouldn't vibrate. She wanted to drink herself into oblivion, but she didn't have the energy to go to the liquor cabinet and get a bottle of bourbon. At times, she wanted to eat her gun, but she didn't have the courage to pull the trigger. So, she sat. Alone and silent, watching the minutes tick by on the clock. Turning on the television made her jumpy because she couldn't hear the subtle sounds of the building to know if anything was amiss. Night after night she kept this vigil over herself, gun and cell phone close by.

A knock. Olivia's heart leapt in her chest. Her mind immediately went to Harris, even though she knew that he was safely tucked away in prison. Still, her right hand flew to her gun as she went towards the door. She glanced through the peephole and relaxed when she saw the figure at the door.

"Hey…" she said, swinging to door open, suddenly exhausted again.

"How are you holding up?" Fin asked.

"I'm fine," she answered. It had become a mantra of sorts. If she kept saying it, maybe it would come true.

"Like hell you are," Fin answered, crossing the threshold. She searched his eyes for…something. She didn't want Elliot's pity, and she didn't want Fin's. But what she saw wasn't pity; it was compassion. She didn't need to tell him what happened because he had been there. He already knew, and somehow, that made him safe, safer than Cragen, Munch, or even Elliot. "What did you eat for dinner?" he asked, as he proceeded to open her fridge and peer into her cabinets.

"Liv, pickles and ketchup are not food," he said, earning a sad smile from her.

"I guess I haven't really had time to go to the store recently," she mumbled.

"Baby Girl, you've gotta take care of yourself, ya hear me?" he asked, gently taking her chin in his hand and turning her face towards his. As he stared, the tears welled up in her eyes and finally spilled over. He gathered her into his arms while she buried her face in his chest. Now the tears came. Now she cried. She couldn't do it alone; no, her body would only fall apart in front of someone else. Damn her body. And damn him for being safe.

"Shhh…it's gonna be ok. You can get through this," Fin soothed, gently stroking her hair.

XxXxX

Present Day

"What?" Fin asked, and Olivia suddenly realized she had been staring at him. He had crept in during her darkest hour, carefully wrapping her heart in his, and loving her unconditionally.

"Nothing," she replied, smiling. "Absolutely nothing." Fin gave her a puzzled look in reply.

"Oh, shit!" he exclaimed, looking at the clock.

"Language!" Olivia scolded, but followed his gaze. "Shoot!" she yelled. They should have left the apartment ten minutes ago. Olivia quickly scooped the breakfast dishes into the sink while Fin wrestled Tina into her winter coat. Bundled up, they headed out into the snow.

What they didn't realize was that across the street, a man sat in a battered Toyota watching the three of them race through the snow. Sinners, both of them, he mused. They'll pay for their crimes against God.