A/N It's ten-something, and I haven't slept in six days, which for me is like a decade, so sorry if there are mistakes. Just a little Pepperony one-shot I thought up. Enjoy!
Pepper yawned, adjusting her legs on the small couch in the armory, straining her eyes to read the writing in the science textbook, but eventually she gave up. She was just too tired to focus on what the author was saying. She would begin reading the first few words, then zone out and have to start over.
Closing her textbook with a thud, Pepper rubbed her eyes, trying to tell what time was on the clock on Tony's desk. Ten-something. Tony was still dead to the world, his head lolling all over his desk, his hand still clutched around a crumpled schematic. Pepper was impressed; he'd gone nearly three months before falling asleep this time.
The redhead leaned back on the couch, stretching her arms and arching her back. She looked back at Tony for a moment, taking her eyes a second to focus to on wiry frame slumped over the desk, and something clicked in her mind.
His desk drawer was open.
From the moment Tony had brought the desk into the armory, he had had a special drawer that he kept locked at all times. No one knew what was in it, not even Rhodey, who usually knew everything about his best friend. Pepper had been wondering for weeks what could possibly be inside, and now here was her chance to find out.
Pepper slowly stood from the couch, tiptoeing over to the desk. She glanced at Tony, making sure he wasn't about to wake and yell at her to get away, but he didn't move. Trying to quiet her rapid heartbeat, Pepper knelt down and slowly slid the drawer the rest of the way open.
On the top were photographs of Tony and Rhodey, at all sorts of ages: five, ten, twelve, fourteen. In some of them they had their arms around each other's shoulders and were grinning goofily into the camera, in others, it seemed as the picture had been taken by surprise. In one, Tony was excitedly showing Rhodey a schematic he had drawn up; in another, they were attempting to best one another at video games.
There was another photo, one that seemed to be Tony's family picture; there he was, a small little boy, grinning as he linked hands with Howard and a beautiful, blond haired-blue eyed woman who could only be his mother. Pepper stared at the picture for a moment, taking in how happy they all looked, how the family seemed so normal. If only that were true for him now.
There were some crumpled papers that turned out to be invites to some celebrity parties. She remembered Tony telling her once that not having to go to parties anymore was a huge plus to being out-of-sight for so long. Charity benefits were great, he said, but he hated going to parties where a bunch of rich snobs complained about the increase of homeless people on the street when they wouldn't spare a buck to help them.
Pepper dug through the piles of paper, pictures, and other stray items that must've been of sentimental value to the inventor. Finally she reached the bottom of the drawer, and she pulled out the dark blue folder at the bottom. She opened it-and let out a little gasp before she could stop herself.
It was her. A beautiful sketch of Pepper smiled back at her from the folder, and Pepper blinked in surprise. He had caught the shape of her eyes exactly, the light spray of freckles across her nose and cheeks, her playful smile. He made her look beautiful, though. There was really no other way to describe this picture, other than beautiful.
Pepper had never known Tony could possibly draw or sketch, but she supposed years of sketching schematics paid off. But why her? Why was he drawing her?
Pepper flipped through the folder, taking in picture after picture, Pepper laughing, writing, texting, all sorts of things. And yet, in every one he made her out to be absolutely beautiful.
Is this what he sees when he looks at me? Pepper wondered.
Pepper looked through the pictures, a fluttering feeling building in her chest as she took in picture after picture. Finally she reached the final one, and her mouth dropped open.
She looked angelic in it. The way Tony had shaded the picture made it seem as though she was surrounded in a halo of light as she tilted her head back, looking at something above her, eyes sparkling in curiosity. Pepper noticed the caption Christmas, 2011 in a corner in Tony's messy scrawl, and she remembered the day perfectly.
"Tony, look, mistletoe!" Pepper grinned, pointing up above her at a little sprig of the plant hanging on the ceiling. She glanced back at Tony, still smiling, but was surprised to see the intensity of his gaze on her.
"What is it?" She asked, raising a hand to her face self-consciously, and Tony, snapping out of his reverie, shook his head.
"Nothing's wrong! It's just, the way the light caught you there, it made you seem to glow…" Tony trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed.
Pepper felt the heat rushing to her cheeks. "I…uh…thanks," she stuttered. "Thanks, I, um, don't get a lot of compliments like that."
"Well you should," he said, smiling uncertainly. "You're beautiful, Pep."
And then Rhodey had walked in, and they had gone back to their normal demeanors.
Pepper couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the picture, from her. To think Tony drew this, thought about her, envisioned her as beautiful…
Tony gave a little cry in his sleep, and Pepper quickly stuffed the drawings back into the drawer, slamming it shut. She spun around as she leapt to her feet and glanced at Tony, who seemed to be in the middle of one of his nightmares that he always denied having. His hands were tangled in his thick brown messy hair as he trembled, chest heaving with silent sobs.
"No, no, no…" he mumbled over and over in an endless loop, his voice full of pain.
Pepper knelt down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Tony, everything's okay. It's just a nightmare."
Tony's electric blue eyes flickered, slowly sliding open. "P-Pepper?" he whispered hoarsely. Pepper nodded, moving her hand from his shoulder to his hair and running her fingers through it.
"It was just a nightmare. Everything's fine. Go on back to sleep."
"I c-can't," Tony, his voice cracking, and he turned his head away before Pepper could see his expression. But he didn't turn away before Pepper caught a glimpse of an unrecognizable emotion flitting across his eyes. Was it fear? Pain? Desperation?
"Hey, it's okay Tony. I promise."
Tony was quiet for so long, Pepper stood and turned to go. But as she turned her back to him, she felt a strong, warm hand clasp on to her right wrist.
"Pepper, wait. Don-please don't go."
The redhead glanced at him, surprised.
"You want me to stay?" she asked. This was very uncharacteristic for Tony, who normally preferred keeping his emotions concealed from his friends, bottled up inside. And now Tony was asking her to stay with him, while he was obviously hurt, and he didn't care she was seeing him in a time of weakness.
Beautiful. The word resonated around her mind, though she didn't know why. You're beautiful, Pep.
Tony nodded earnestly, and Pepper pulled up a swivel chair beside him at the desk. As she was sitting down, Tony whispered, "Thank you, Pepper."
Pepper smiled, feeling a warmth she couldn't quite place flutter inside her. "You're most certainly welcome, Tony."