Book One, Chapter One: Getting Started

Yoruichi

The Urahara Shouten could only be seen by those with reiatsu. It sat on a quiet street - well, quiet for Tokyo. Mostly storage spaces and garages and rental malls that hadn't been rented. To the reiatsu-knowledgeable, it would have looked out of place. Abandoned. A tiny traditional shop and home complete with rice paper screens, sandwiched between two larger industrial buildings. A place stepped out of time.

Yoruichi scampered down the street and up to the Shouten, up the steps - but Urahara was already waiting for her.

"Yoruichi!" he cried in delight, banging open the door and lifting her up in the air. "There you are! Shall we get you some milk?" He beamed. To a surface viewer, he would have looked completely unhinged. He wore a boat hat and clogs, carried a cane despite looking like a young man, and had longish blond hair that hadn't been cut and stubble. He always seemed bright and cheerful.

Appearances could be deceptive. Urahara Kisuke was deadly and devastatingly brilliant. He had always been that way - ever since he and Yoruichi had been children, fellow nobles in the Soul Society.

"... Why is Owner holding up that stray cat?" asked an impudent little brat with red hair. A stray Urahara had picked up, or so Yoruichi hazarded according to his letters.

"That cat is his only family," said Tessai with his sunglasses and long dreadlocks solemnly.

Even Urahara's latest little prosthetic human, a girl with black pigtails probably created to play with the boy, looked bewildered.

"... You know, Tessai," said the red-haired brat conversationally. "Owner is kind of sad."

Yoruichi leaped to the ground, transformed from a black cat into a busty naked black woman, and the red-headed little shit screamed. Yoruichi laughed rather unkindly.

"Now, Yoruichi, that was very cruel. Have you gotten more sensitive while you've been away traveling the world?" Urahara scolded. "And put some clothes on."

"You can't tell me what to do. I am a free and independent woman," said Yoruichi imperiously, standing with her hands on her hips in his doorway.

"Alright." Urahara held up his hands, exasperated. "But please come farther inside the building, or I could be -"

"What? Arrested? No one can see me anyway."

"Oh, you'd… be surprised."

"What? There's us and the Vaizard. Who else?" said Yoruichi incredulously. "Isshin doesn't have his powers back yet and the remaining Quincy are neutralized. Has the number of reiatsu-crazy people in this one district of Tokyo grown even larger?"

But Urahara looked serious. This wasn't just some philosophical debate about the merits of being arrested for a public display of indecency.

"... That's what I needed to talk to you about," he said. "It's why I asked you to come back."

"How much has the number grown by?" Yoruichi demanded, suddenly more worried.

"Yoruichi -"

"How much has the number grown by?"

"To the point where it's cause for concern?" Urahara sighed. "One."

The Shouten had been built, Yoruichi suspected, to feel like home to Urahara. It was full of Soul Society esque rice paper screens and tatami matting. He could have designed anything in the world and he'd chosen that.

It said something.

Yoruichi, she liked being in the living world. New things, constant changes of scenery. She'd gotten used to it. For all his intellectual brilliance, she wasn't sure Urahara ever had.

Fucking Aizen.

Speaking of which, when Yoruichi had pulled on a sweater and leggings, pulled her deep purple hair up into a ponytail, they had sat down across from each other on the matting in an empty back room, and she had begun eating crassly, the first thing she demanded rather bluntly was, "How is the evil one involved in this?"

He automatically knew who she was talking about, despite her sarcasm.

"The evil one?" Urahara began innocently. "Why does the evil one have to be involved in -"

"Because if it were a matter of simple reiatsu, Kisuke, you could have handled it yourself," said Yoruichi sarcastically, golden eyes narrowing dangerously, and Urahara fell silent. "So what's going on and what is it you want me to do?"

Urahara winced. "... I believe he's making his first serious move against the boy in just under six months."

"Isshin's boy? The eldest?" said Yoruichi, surprised, and Urahara nodded. "What is he now… fifteen? It would be nothing in Soul Society, but as a human he's closer to a hundred and fifty."

"He's just started high school."

"That's cute," Yoruichi sneered. "Have you met him?"

"No. Isshin and Masaki wanted him to be… normal."

Yoruichi snorted. "Well that's delusional. So you think Aizen is making a move against him? What do you think he'll do?"

"Central 46 is already dead or close to it," said Urahara, troubled. "I think Aizen will send someone. An agent to stir things up."

"Someone who knows what's going on?"

"Worse - someone who doesn't," said Urahara.

"That's… low," Yoruichi realized, somehow still retaining the capacity to be surprised and disgusted. "It suits him. What are you going to do?"

"Leave most of it to me." Urahara waved a hand lazily. "But I need you to check up on the boy. Kurosaki Ichigo. See how ready he is."

"For what?"

"For becoming a Shinigami."

"You think… that's the end game," said Yoruichi slowly. "To make him a Shinigami. Why? Wouldn't that help us? Never mind." She raised her hands suddenly and Urahara paused in surprise. "You've got that look on your face. I trust you and I don't want to know. So you want me to see if a fifteen year old kid is ready to become a Shinigami and face the machinations of one of the most manipulative, powerful men in the known universe."

"Yoruichi -"

"I'm guessing the answer is no, Kisuke," said Yoruichi, pained. "How the hell would he be ready?!"

"I'm not talking about emotionally!" Urahara snapped, leaning forward intently. "I'm not talking about in power level! I'm talking about in reiatsu! Because if he's not ready there, that's the only part I can't fix!"

Yoruichi sighed and sat back. "Okay," she said. "What do you want me to do? Hang outside his window? Couldn't one of your lackeys do tha -?"

"They're not lackeys!"

"... Okay…" Yoruichi raised her hands cautiously. "Okay. I'm not the only one who's changed," she added, looking him up and down. "What… do you want me to do, then?"

She was somewhat more hesitant here. She knew Urahara - or she thought she did.

He smirked. "You know that 'cute' high school we just talked about? The one he's starting at and will be attending for the next five and a half months before anything happens?"

"Yes…"

"I want you to infiltrate it."

"... You want me to pretend to be a human student?"

"That's right."

Urahara smiled coldly as Yoruichi laughed long… and hard.

Finally, wiping the tears from her eyes, she said with still-laughing pain, "Oh, God, you're not kidding."

"Do you have a better idea?" he asked, still smiling frigidly.

"So… I'm going to become his bestest buddy at his little high school… and I'm going to somehow figure out whether or not he's ready to best all the forces in the known universe?"

"You're really doing well today."

"That was condescending. And fuck you."

"Sorry." He sighed and put a hand over his face, rubbing it. "I know it's a lot to take on."

"You look tired, Kisuke." Suddenly feeling sorry for him, Yoruichi stood up. "Fine. As long as I get to live here, I'll do your dirty work.

"But you'd better forge the paperwork, and you'd better make it good."

Spring. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and Yoruichi was going to fucking high school.

Sighing and tugging at her obnoxiously tight uniform - Urahara had done this on purpose, damn him - she walked down the linoleum, squeaky hall toward the correct classroom on her printed-out sheet. People in fellow uniforms did double-takes and stared at her ass as she passed. She considered slamming one of them into a wall, but decided she would stand out too much.

Unfortunately, she had to actually pass for a human.

She entered the classroom and her eyes zeroed in - it was almost pathetically easy, even had she not been shown a photograph beforehand. There he was. Blatantly a Shiba, chalk full of spewing reiatsu, tall and thin with a serious expression and messy hair colored a brilliant, noticeable shade of orange.

Yeah, Isshin and Masaki. That kid didn't stand out at all. Poor motherfucker. She knew how cruel humans could be toward someone who didn't fit in. In some ways, they were even worse than the dead.

He was sitting next to someone equally noticeable, a big dark-skinned muscular guy with a gold chain around his neck, obviously partly some other race. He was talking to a tall, lithely muscular girl with her dark hair cut short and messy like a boy's. Her ultra-feminine best friend was totally checking him out - trying to be shy and secretive about it, but failing miserably.

Well. The kid could do worse. That chick had an amazing rack.

As Yoruichi passed, she stiffened slightly as she heard a guy with long, messy hair say to his preppy friend, "Wow, check out that fine piece of ass. Caribbean, you think? I could get a taste of the islands, you know?"

"Good luck, man," said Kurosaki Ichigo bluntly, turning to him with a scowl etched into his features, and the nasty kid shut the hell up. Wow. So Kurosaki Ichigo had a reputation.

And he also could see she held herself to a certain standard. She liked him already.

"S-sorry, Kurosaki -" the kid said at last.

"Look, just stop being disgusting," said Kurosaki Ichigo, and he turned back to his friends as the kid nodded so fast his head looked like it was about to bob off. The curvy, feminine girl was now looking at Ichigo in wide-eyed admiration.

Long, messy hair guy and preppy guy now looked ready and prepared to stay far the hell away from Kurosaki Ichigo.

Yoruichi took the desk next to Ichigo's. "Is anyone sitting here?" she asked.

"Uh, no." He looked surprised, then recovered. "Go ahead. Don't worry," he added, nodding. "We got your back. We only look like gigantic douches."

Yoruichi was privately amused. No one had had her back in a long time. "Good to know," she said.

"Speaking of gigantic douches…" said the short-haired girl, as a big guy with bleached hair and piercings walked up to them - like he was tough, though his stance was full of holes.

"You tryin' to fuckin' look like me?" he asked Ichigo, obviously trying to be intimidating.

Ichigo stood and got right up in his face. The already incredibly reiatsu in the room heightened unconsciously. "Do I seem like I want to look like a shaved-ass orangutan?" he demanded, which to his credit was a witty insult.

"You want to say that again, motherfucker -?!" The kid pushed Ichigo, who pushed back, and just as it looked like a fight was about to break out, the teacher ran forward. Ochi, Yoruichi thought the bespectacled woman's name was.

"Hey! Hey, boys! Break it up!" she snapped. "What the hell was that?!"

"That guy came right up and seemed threatening, Sensei," said Yoruichi, pointing at Orangutan Kid. "Instigated the whole thing."

"I'm gonna fucking end you -" Orangutan Kid growled at Yoruichi. Yoruichi frankly would have been surprised if he could have given her a papercut, but Ichigo stepped immediately between them.

"Headmaster's office!" Ochi-sensei barked. "Now, Ooshima! Wow, look at that, probation on your first day, total shocker!"

She waited until Ooshima had left, then turned to Ichigo. "Sorry," she said. "My name's Ochi-sensei. Ooshima's always causing trouble. He had to be held back a year, so I had him last year, too. Lucky me. I just couldn't tell if you -"

"Don't worry. No one ever can," said Ichigo. "Kurosaki Ichigo."

"And you are?" Ochi turned to Yoruichi, who was surprised.

"Shihouin Yoruichi," she said. "Transfer to Tokyo."

Her name obviously didn't carry the same weight here, because Ochi-sensei nodded and looked to the other three.

"Arisawa Tatsuki," said the boyish girl.

"Inoue Orihime," said the curvy, feminine girl.

"Yasutora Sado," said the silent, dark-skinned guy in a big, deep voice.

"Good to meet all of you," said Ochi curiously, and she walked away.

"Damn, Ichigo. While we went to different middle schools, you learned how to take care of yourself," said Tatsuki, grinning, impressed, as Ichigo sat back down.

"Eh. It was nothing." He shrugged neutrally, becoming quiet again and looking down.

"Eh. It was nothing," she mocked him, grinning.

"Shut up," he said, but he was half laughing.

"They've known each other since they were toddlers, Yoruichi-san," said Orihime shyly, smiling. "Went to the same karate class. And Kurosaki-kun apparently met Chad over here in junior high."

"Boys school. He saved me from a gang fight," Chad offered.

"Meanwhile, I met Orihime at my girl's school and now the gang's all here," said Tatsuki.

"Can I hang out with your guys's group?" said Yoruichi, jumping on her chance and grinning.

Tatsuki and Ichigo looked around slowly. "Well, we're not really a group…"

"But it's the first day of school and you could be," said Yoruichi helpfully. Look at her, helping Isshin's kid make friends.

Tatsuki looked at Ichigo, who shrugged. "She's got a point," he said. "Comfort in numbers."

"Alright. We're a group," Tatsuki decided. "And you can join, Yoruichi. But only because you were a total badass standing up to some dick like Ooshima."

How easily impressed they were. That was actually the least badass thing Yoruichi had ever done.

"Then I institute that we all call each other by our given names," Yoruichi instated. "Less confusion." She'd heard Orihime's "Kurosaki-kun" duck, and nuh-uh, none of that.

"I agree," said Ichigo immediately. "No confusion."

"You're just saying that because you suck at putting names to faces," said Tatsuki, grinning.

"I am not!"

"Yeah," said Chad, who seemed amused. "Actually, you are."

"Okay, fine," Ichigo sighed, reddening slightly in embarrassment. "So… Tatsuki, Chad, Yoruichi, and Orihime. I can deal with that. Better than having countless friends anyway."

"Yeah, because that would be horrible," said Tatsuki sarcastically.

Meanwhile, Orihime was repeating softly to herself, "Ichigo… Ichigo…"

Yoruichi gave a secret smile. "Ochi seems cool," she said instead.

"Yeah. For a teacher she is, like, surprisingly not a prick," said Tatsuki, eyebrows lifting.

Clearly, attitudes toward teachers were a little more liberally allowed here.

"Alright, class!" Ochi clapped and called everyone to attention. "Let's get started! My name is Ochi and I am your homeroom and leading teacher. I will take roll, and then announce your first project. Less groaning, please!" she added over the class moans, Ichigo's included.

She finished taking roll and uniform inspection, nailing their seating chart in place, then announced the assignment.

"You are going to be partnering up and instituting 'get to know each other' profiles. You get to know your partner as well as you can and then present on them in exactly four months in front of the class." Yoruichi straightened hopefully. If Urahara had snagged this chance for her… "Yes, the partners will be assigned."

Yoruichi and Ochi both smiled at more groans.

"I will now announce the project partner you will have to get to know."

She got to the middle of the list on her clipboard, and sure enough… "Shihouin Yoruichi and Kurosaki Ichigo!"

She continued on as Yoruichi sighed in satisfaction and sat back. This would be even easier than she'd thought.

They broke to meet their partners at the end of the list, and Yoruichi and Ichigo turned to each other. "Lucky you," said Yoruichi, grinning, as chatter started around them. "You get the hot girl."

Ichigo looked downward. "I… don't see you like that," he muttered.

"What, you don't think I'm hot?" she demanded, pretend offended.

"No! I do! I just… I was trying to be nice," he admitted, flushing. "And not… creepy."

Yoruichi laughed. "It's okay, I get what you were trying to say," she assured him. He really was incredibly young and naive, wasn't he? "So, this should be easy since we've decided to be friends."

She smiled.

"After school at your place, shall we get started?"

Wouldn't Isshin be happy to see her.