A few hours later Kensi lay sated in her boyfriend's bed, a hand carding through Deeks' hair as his head rested against her stomach. He was uncharacteristically quiet. It was a sign of the grief he was going through but it was also a sign of trust, trust that allowed him to be vulnerable with her, trust that kept him from retreating into his usual cover of jokes to mask his pain.

She soon began to feel tears soak through the shirt she'd stollen from his dresser and his shoulders began to shake. Kensi's hand migrated from his hair to his back while his fingers bunched in the shirt as sobs escaped form his mouth.

Gently, Kensi shuffled down so she was level with him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him to her, resting his head against her shoulder. He encircled her with is arms in return, engulfing her slight frame and clinging to her tightly.

"I got you." She soothed, placing her lips at his temple in a tender kiss. "I got you Marty. Just let it out, I got you. I'm here."

She continued whispering words of comfort in his ear, pressing gentle kisses to his head intermittently as he grieved the loss of a friend he considered a brother.

His sobs faded and his tears slowed after a while but Kensi continued to rub his back until he pulled away enough to look at her face.

He just about broke her heart right then. His eyes were red rimmed and glassy and the pain behind them was so deep it almost had her tearing up. As she brought her fingers to swipe at the tear stains under his eye she couldn't help but feel privileged to be allowed to see this side of him, to be allowed to comfort him.

He sniffed, leaned forward, and rubbed his face in her shirt, trying to wipe off the remaining moisture.

"That's gross." She smiled forlornly as he pulled back again. Her fingers pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "You got your snot all over my shirt.

"Technically it's my shirt." He countered weakly before sliding to sit against the headboard. She followed hip up, sitting so their shoulders touched.

He reached for her hand and she gave it willingly, allowing him to pull it into his own lap.

"You know, he had a wife and children." He stated sadly, staring down at where is fingers were playing with hers.

"No. I mean, yeah, I saw he wore a wedding ring but I didn't know. He never mentioned it."

"He told me a bit about them. About how he loved them, how just the thought of them made him feel at home." He squeezed her fingers tightly. "I wish I knew them, wish I had some way to contact them. I want to give my condolences, tell them what a great man their husband and father was, you know." He tilted his head slightly to look up at her.

"I know."

Deeks shook his head and chuckled.

"He was messing with me when he told you he was like a monk, that Ghurka's didn't know much about relationships. He's pretty much the reason we're here now, you and me. He's the one who told me how to cross our frozen lake."

"You've mentioned that before." She nodded. "Did he give you any nuggets of wisdom this time?"

"Yeah, he did." Deeks smiled at the memory.

He didn't expand and she didn't push. Instead he drew in a deep breath and pulled her arm closer.

He turned to her and smiled and it almost reached his eyes.

"Hey, even though your friends aren't exactly what I pictured, I'm glad you let me meet them."

"Really?" She asked skeptically.

"Definitely. Don't get me wrong. I love tough, kick-ass, knife-throwing, plane-hot-wiring, ninja assassin Kensi but I also love Cosmo-subscribed, brunch-loving, fantasy-engagement-making, keep-calm-and-eat-cupcakes Kensi just as much. Maybe even a little more." He confessed.

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh. It's a side of you a lot of people never get to see and the fact that you let me into that part of your life…" He trailed off, unable to find words.

Kensi smiled.

"You know, when I said that you make me a different kind of happy, it wasn't meant to be a bad thing right?" Kensi broached.

"I know."

"I just - Sometimes I feel like I'm living these two separate lives. There's work-Kensi and friend-Kensi and until you came along I had them pretty well separated. Then you insinuated yourself in my life. You invited yourself onto my couch to watch chick flicks and bad horror movies, you started rifling through my bathroom cabinets and snooping through my bridal magazines. You started to see a lot more of friend-Kensi than I ever intended to let a co-worker see." Kensi paused and looked at him. He was still listening intently.

"Spending time with my girlfriends makes me happy because I get to leave work-Kensi at the door. I don't have to prove myself to anyone, I don't have to prove my gender is not a weakness. Instead, I get to pretend to be the person I though I would be when I was a little girl. I get to pretend my father never died, that I never lived on the streets, that I never lost anyone. I get to be the woman any parent wants their little girl to grow up into without having to feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. It's fun to be that care-free, giggling me but I have to hide my work from them. I can't be fully me and that kinda sucks." She drew in a breath.

"Deeks, you make me happy and it's a different kind of happy, a better kind of happy, because I don't have to hide either side form you. I don't have to prove myself or pretend. I get to be me, both me's, a crazy combination of work-Kensi and friend-Kensi who doesn't have a secret other side to herself. You get all of me and I get to be a whole person rather than a fragmented part that's been carefully separated and filtered. It's kinda scary but it's quite possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me. Deeks," she paused until she made eye contact with him. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

She glanced at him nervously. The words had started flowing and then they'd been slipping out before she could catch them. She hadn't actually meant to bare that much of her heart to him, at least not tonight, not all in one go.

He was hovering over her, pressing his forehead to hers before she'd even been able to register him moving. He pressed his lips to hers, kissing her deeply.

"I love you." He breathed against her lips. "God, I love you Kens." And then his tongue was in her mouth and his hands were lifting the shirt from her body.

A/N: So, technically this is the follow on to A Night Off but I felt that this piece deserved its own story. It's a lot stronger than A Night Off, it has a different feel to it, and it doesn't really fit that title (which I didn't really like in the first place). Special thanks to homegrownoregano for raving about Kensi and the amazing character discussions/dissections we have!

Thank you to everyone who reviews A Night Off. I got it into my head that it wasn't that great and I haven't even been able to bring myself to reread it but your reviews were so lovely and so encouraging. So thanks: Iamtooyourtype, ToOldToShip, Littlemissjellybabies, Loz, homegrownoregano, raccoonsmate4life, OhBuddy66, Andriana Dricks, conservativegirl, Rach, Divergent 338, cacticabbage, LaJoyMechell, gremlin2318, Jammie13, Grace, Hoosier65 and the 5 guest reviewers.