The Life of Experiment 626

By Inferno19900828

Written on Thursday, July 16, 2015 at 03:44:22 Central Daylight Time

CHAPTER ONE: 626's Birth, trial, and escape

…Dr. Jumba Jookiba's Lab…

There was uncontrolled laughter coming from my left. As my molecules had coalesced into the form that you see me in today, my creator looked inside the glass tube that I was taking shape in. At first, all he saw was smoke, but a few seconds later, he saw a small blue ball. That blue ball was me. I looked up at him, wondering just what I was looking at. I was new life, and I did not understand anything at this point. As I'd come to life, the first thought that came to my mind was What am I? Why was I made?

The large, round, purple alien that was standing in front of me looked at me and said, "So cute; so fluffy, even."

He then grew angry and yelled, "Where did I go wrong?!"

The only response he got from me was a growl.

He looked at me and said, "What a relief. Your name is 6-2-6; isn't that nice?"

The first thing I thought was, "What the hell is he even saying?"

That thought was immediately followed by, "Why are you giving me a three-digit positive constant for a name?"

I then thought that he was just trying to piss me off, so all I did was growl.

He then went over to something that I was unfamiliar with. He said, "I know you want to get out there and cause some destruction, but we have to charge your molecules first."

He pulled out this impossibly long extension cord and plugged it into the capsule I was in. About twenty-five or thirty seconds later, the doors to the room just exploded. It caught both of us completely off-guard. From the wreckage of that portion of the room emerged three creatures, the likes of which I'd never seen before. The one in front said, "Intergalactic Police. Dr. Jumba Jookiba, you're under arrest for illegal genetic experimentation."

It then looked at its two colleagues pointed at me, and said, "Seize the evidence."

Then, we were transported to Prison Asteroid K37 to await our day before the Galactic Council.

…United Galactic Federation Headquarters…Planet Turo…Three Months Later…

We were transported to Galactic Federation Headquarters to face the council. Once there, we waited for what seemed like five or six years, (actually twenty minutes), until the Grand Councilwoman walked into the room. She walked up to the strange thing under the light and shouted, "Read the charges"

Then, a big messed-up shark-like alien read from a little card, "Dr. Jumba Jookiba, you stand before this council, accused of…illegal genetic experimentation."

The Grand Councilwoman then asked, "How do you plead?"

Jumba stated, "Not guilty, my experiments are only theoretical, completely within legal boundaries. I would never ever make…" Then, my container opened, revealing me to the entire council.

Jumba then finished his sentence, "…more than one."

Then, the shark-like thing said, "What is that monstrosity?"

Then, Jumba said, "MONSTROSITY?! What you see before you is the first of a new species. I call it Experiment 6-2-6. He is bulletproof, fireproof, and can think faster than supercomputer. He can see in the dark and lift objects three thousand times his size. His only instinct…to destroy everything he touches!"

After the first sentence, I thought, "It? Where did THAT come from?"

The Grand Councilwoman said, "So it is a monster."

Jumba said, "Just a little one."

The shark-like dude said, "It is an affront to nature, it must be DESTROYED!"

As he said this, I thought, "You're an idiot. Jumba already basically explained that I am indestructible."

The Grand Councilwoman said, "Calm yourself, Captain Gantu, perhaps it can be reasoned with."

I thought, while looking at her, "The voice of reason; but still, it?"

She looked at me and said, "Experiment 626, give us some understanding that you understand any of this. Show us that there is something inside you that is good."

I looked at her, trying to think of anything "good." I decided that I had no idea what the hell she meant.

I then looked her in the eye and said, "Meega nala kweesta!"

At that point, Gantu said, "Place that idiot scientist under arrest."

I looked at him and thought, "Idiot? Jumba is the smartest person I've heard of in my short lifetime."

Then, the Grand councilwoman turned her attention to me and said, "And as for that abomination, it is clearly the product of a deranged mind. It has no place among us. Captian Gantu, take him away."

I felt lower than I ever had before. These idiots really thought I was an abomination. As I was licking the glass of the capsule I was trapped in, I was thinking, "What can I do to get myself out of this mess."

…Aboard Captain Gantu's Ship…around thirty minutes later…

Then, I was transported to Captain Gantu's ship for transport back to K37. The idiots carried me in a round thing, hanging upside down, into a room. They then lifted it up, securing it in this weird thing with two guns on either side. One of the idiots then took out something and poked me with it, drawing a small volume of my blood. Then, he took it over to one of the guns and inserted it. The gun swallowed up the blood, and then both of the guns pointed themselves straight at me. Then, Captain Gantu walked into the room. He looked at me and asked, "Uncomfortable," then said, "Good. The Council has sentenced you to life in exile on a desert asteroid. So relax, enjoy the trip, and don't get any ideas. These guns are locked onto your genetic profile. They won't shoot anyone…but you!"

I bit his finger in response.

The idiot just pointed his gun at me and said, "Why you little…"

The smaller idiot next to him remarked, "Need I remind the Captain that he is still on duty."

I looked at him, thinking the whole time, "You are such a fucking retard. Didn't you hear Jumba at the Council? He said that I was bulletproof. Is it too hard for your tiny brain to grasp exactly what he meant by that?"

The Captain then left the room, sealing the doors behind him. In just a few hours, we would reach some deserted asteroid, where no one would be able to find me. It was a saddening reality, but it was what the idiots wanted. They would never get it, though; I would make sure of that!

…An Hour Later…

After an hour or so of fooling around with the guns that were pointed at me, I had finally thought of my escape plan. "These idiots said that the guns would only shoot me, right? Well, I'll just have to fool them into thinking that I'm trying to escape." I spat at a guard, and the saliva traveled toward him. The guns followed the saliva, unleashing a torrent of plasma, hot orange liquid, straight toward the poor, diminutive, idiotic guard. He just stood there, shaking, before it hit him dead center. I don't know if he survived; probably not. The force of the shot knocked me free from my binding; and I took a portion of it, using it as a shield as I ran straight out into the hallway. The idiots had tried their hardest to keep me shut in the hallway, but they were too stupid to do so. I then found a small hole in the wall, and thinking that it led to a spaceport on the ship, I climbed through it. Continuing to go up, I then came to a left-oriented tunnel, leading to who-the-hell-knows-where. As I neared the end of the tunnel, the gray, ugly, idiotic Captain Gantu tried to shoot at me, again. In my mind, I laughed and thought, "Good lord, Gantu, you need to get some help for your…oh, wait, there's no way to fix stupidity."

I then reached the spaceship I wanted, a red thing that Gantu had called a "Federation Police Cruiser." I jumped in, turned on the engine, and flew straight out of the larger ship. As I escaped, I thought of Gantu, "Try and stop me now, you ugly, retarded motherfucker." The idiots tried to stop me yet again, but I engaged the H-drive and disappeared into hyperspace.