Posted this earlier on tumblr. I changed the general summary for something it to be more "correct". Because the real reason I wrote this was to write shameless Miyako and though I tone it down in public.
Inspired by the Superstar!AU created by the amazing dianaagron on tumblr. (Go check her tumblr under the tag digisafe and/or idols-verse because everything she touches is amazing)
Though I really wanted to read this story, not to write it lmao cries over my lack of talent. Title inspired by "Hands To Myself" by Selena Gomez because when I finally decided to finish this, I was listen to it on repeat.
Enjoy!
Hands To Myself
Miyako didn't care if she was staring. She had all the rights to. Japan was a free country.
The point was, Ichijouji Ken was too hot for his own good and all she wanted was for him to grab her and fuck her senseless.
Yes, she was at that point.
Part of her brain kept wondering how in the world Sora was able to look at her boyfriend when he was doing whatever sexiness with REVolutionary Road and she was not dragging him out of stage to have her way with him.
But then again, at the end of the day, she would have her way with him. While Miyako could only dream.
The lights faded out and it was Miyako's cue to look professional. They were performing just after him. He passed by them and gave away a tired smile. She blushed, smiled back, and went to her position. Hikaru flashed her a knowing smile which she ignored.
She was the one starting the song, she better be on her cue.
She played the first cord and Miyako could finally let go. Music had always been the best way to stop thinking and just feel. No more sexy younger pretty boy. Just her and her band and their music.
It ended too quickly to Miyako's taste. All she was hearing was the crowd cheering and the MCs saying their thanks. They were the last of the show which mean they had to go back in line for the final talk of the show.
She gave her guitar to the staff as the assistant director ushered them for the final cut. She found herself next to last person she expected to be next to.
"Miyako-san, good performance."
She glanced at him, sure that if she turned toward him she would do something embarrassing.
"You too. You were really hot- I mean, sex- I mean, I really like this song" Trust her instincts to be as embarrassing as she could be.
He chuckled, and once again, Miyako didn't want to look at him. Yet, her curiosity got better of her and she glanced. He too was glancing her way, a tiny smile on her face. Damn, how could someone be that cute and that sexy at the same time.
"Ichijouji-san, how was today?"
"Yes!" He exclaimed, as if caught red-handed. She snorted as he went on full idol mode. "Like usual it was fun and seeing so many talented artist always make me want to continue to do the best that I can."
"Thank you. And Butter-FLY, how was today?"
Mimi took the mic and said something pretty similar but Miyako was still giggling at Ken's expense.
The camera did the usual panning of everyone, while artists bowed or said thank you. By the monitor on the floor, she saw the amused smile on his face.
"And cut! Ok! Everyone, good work today. Thank you very much."
Everyone said their thanks and Miyako gave a last look at Ken. He had been caught by the assistant director and didn't want to bother. Anyway, to go talk openly like this could cause misunderstanding. There was still a crowd around.
She followed the girls, reluctant, doing the necessary last greeting to the direction and staffs of the show.
"Will you stop moping around because you can't flirt with Ken-kun anymore?" Hikari teased, not even looking at her as soon as they entered their designate dressing room.
Miyako wanted to deny so badly but instead she slouched the sofa.
"Still working on that crush on Ichijouji-san?" Sora asked and Miyako didn't need to look to know that she had this "smiling motherly" expression of hers.
"I don't see what's the issue," Mimi slowly said as she was checking something on her phone, sitting next to her, "It never stopped you before; talking to a crush, sleeping with them and the whole deal."
Miyako looked at her friend in disbelief. "Have you looked at him?"
"Yes. He's hot. As are half the artist present today."
"Have you looked at him?" she stressed yet again, unsure her friend understood her dilemma. It was not any boy, he was almost a demigod walking around.
"He does have this je ne sais quoi," Hikari mentioned, showing a page of a magazine.
Miyako slowly reached for it, as if she rushed for it, the image would disappear.
"Miyako, you are acting like you are high schooler in love," Mimi remarked, concerned or in disbelief, Miyako wasn't sure.
She didn't bother answering as she was way too preoccupied with the magazine. There was Ken, hair hiding most of his face, mouth partially open, he was dressed with a low scoop t-shirt.
"Fuck me"
Hikari snorted loud enough to bring back Miyako's attention to the room.
"Did I say that out loud?"
"For god's sake, Miyako, he's literally two doors away. Go talk to him!" Mimi exclaimed.
"But don't you guys found him hard to approach?" She looked up from the magazine to look at Mimi.
"He's just a shy boy when not on stage," Mimi replied.
"There's more than that. I talk to him and I just block. Like I am not sure if I'm bothering him or not, and when he looks like he's enjoying himself…" she shrugged. "I just don't know what to say."
"Invite him to dinner?" Sora suggested after a moment. "That's how it starts most of the time."
Miyako stood up. "Yes. I should."
"That's the spirit!" Sora encouraged.
She then quickly sat down. "Just not now. He's probably tired, right?"
She quickly turned back to look at the magazine, not wanting to see her friends' expression.
"You should get ready or else we'll leave without you," Sora reproached few minutes after Miyako hadn't move.
She slowly got up and removed most make up she had on. She changed to her casual clothes.
As she was tying her hair up, a knock was heard on the door. Their manager, who had come after talking to show's director, opened.
"Ichijouji-san"
Miyako froze to the name.
"Ah, good work today. I just came to say my greetings and thank you for last time," he said bowing, probably meaning the concert they had went to. The hype she had made.
"It was a pleasure. Thanks to you for inviting us," their manager replied.
"Ichijouji-kun!" Mimi suddenly exclaimed and Miyako prepared herself for the worst. "You know, Miyako was complaining earlier because she wants to go out but we all already have plans…"
Miyako almost shouted it wasn't true but Hikari subtly elbowed her in the ribs.
"Are you free to hang out with her?" Mimi continued.
Ken slowly looked at Miyako, who was nursing her ribs. She looked up at him, and she wished she could know what he was thinking. "I have nothing planned…"
"Then it's decided! Thank you for taking care of our Miyako," Mimi looked at her cellphone. "I have to go."
Hikari smiled at Miyako and whispered: "tell me everything later"
"It hurts" she replied, a hand still where Hikari had hit.
The brunette laughed. "Thank us later"
Their manager gave the girls a long look, as if she was disapproving the little scheme. She gave a long sigh and as the three others were getting out the dressing room, she whispered to Miyako: "No scandals. Ok?"
Miayko merely nodded. Once everyone else out, she finally said: "You don't have to if you do not want…"
Ken smiled. He still seemed shy yet a little more comfortable now it was only them. "I'm actually glad to be able to spend sometime with you."
Miyako refrained to let out the giggles that wanted out. No, she would let herself giddy over the fact that Ichijouji Ken wanted to spend time with her.
"My manager can drop us at a restaurant, if you-" he stopped, looking at the table where the magazine laid, still open on his page. He reached for it and Miyako wanted to say anything to explain why she had this open on his page. "I can never get over the fact that it is me."
Miyako blinked. "You mean?"
"It's just… Not what I see when I look at the mirror."
"The makeup and photoshop doesn't help, not that you need any."
He let out a short laugh.
"But I get what you mean. I just stare at my own picture sometimes thinking how come I can only be so pretty at those moments?"
"You are always beautiful."
Miyako looked down, face on fire, feeling silly for reacting so strongly to such a simple compliment. The things this man made her feel. Trying to change subject, she exclaimed: "I know a restaurant that is low-key. How do you feel about eating Korean food?" She looked up hoping it had been a good enough distraction.
"I don't mind" he said.
The troubling thing of having what seemed like a date with Ichijouji Ken was; he was really more than just a pretty face. It wasn't that she hadn't realized before, more of, talking about computer science with the idol had never been part of her plans. He did have a degree in psychology so it shouldn't surprise her that much how eloquent and rational he could be.
She finished by talk about her insecurities, how she would've love to go to university in electroacoustic, her brother's wedding, her sister's baby… Every little thing that had been in the back of her mind but hadn't said out loud.
He also started to talk about his feelings, how he loved music but still was uncomfortable with fame, how he felt he lacked of something…
When they finished the meal and had a couple of drink, it was already in the small hours of the morning.
Like a gentleman, he went until her apartment building in taxi, even if it was a detour for him.
"You really didn't to accompany me like that," she said, as the taxi stopped. She reached for her wallet to at least pay her part but he stopped her putting a hand on hers.
"It's ok. It's on me."
She looked down at his hand on hers. "You are an idiot to think you are lacking something, you are a full-fledged gentleman. And you're smart. And your music is awesome. And you're hot."
He chuckled. "I will take the compliment to heart."
Her heart felt noisy and she didn't to let go of the feeling. Her gaze went to his lips and all sane thoughts escaped from her mind.
She had wanted it for so long now, to hell with it.
Her free hand reached for behind his head and she crashed her mouth to his. She could feel his body tense but it didn't take long for him to respond with more fervour than she thought he could give.
The taxi driver coughed and Ken slowly detached himself from her. As he was telling his apologies, she whispered in his ear: "Do you want to stop by?"
He looked at her then looked back at the taxi driver.
"Please please please" her mind started to chant. She wouldn't be able to stand rejection now.
He shuffled to take out his wallet, and took few bills out and gave it to the taxi driver. Miyako simply wished she didn't look as expectant as she truly was.
She exited the taxi and as Ken was doing the same, he hid his face with the hat he was wearing. She did the same.
She went straight up to the door of the apartment building, and somewhat felt relief that he was still following her. She didn't dare to look, if she looked the feelings would come back and she needed the small amount of self-control she still had.
He reached for her hand and she almost tripped.
"Are you ok?" He whispered so softly.
She looked at him and knew she was going to lose it. She pulled him toward the elevator and crashed her lips on his. She barely missed the up button. The doors opened and they both stumbled inside.
"Miyako-san…" He whispered, as she was already opening his jacket.
"Hum?"
"Floor?"
She turned to press the button and shivered as he posed an hand on her waist.
The hat is annoying, was the first thought that came when he posed kisses on her neck, soon followed by a moan in the back of her throat.
The elevator dinged and Miyako fumbled trying to find her keys. They arrived in front of door, still attached to each other.
Once in and the door closed behind, she removed his hat and threw it on the side. His semi-long hair were free, though he seemed confused by the gesture.
She didn't let time to ask anything as she was already pushing him toward her room.
Miyako woke up feeling fucked. In the good way. She stretched all the limbs of her body with yawn, still hidden by the sheets.
"You are awake."
The last thing she was expecting was for Ken, fully dressed, to still be there.
"Do you want water? We did drink quite a lot last night."
She didn't answer, her thoughts running in circle in her head. She wasn't used of them staying.
In fact it would've been better if he would've left. She wasn't sure how to face him at the moment.
"Miyako-san?"
"Yes!" She exclaimed, sitting up on the bed, taking the sheets to cover her bust.
"Water?" He said, handing a cup.
"Yes, thanks." She took the cup and gulped down the water. It indeed felt good. She put it down on the nightstand, next to a picture of the band.
"Crap," she groaned. "Did any of the girls saw you?"
"Hikari-san was awake and gave me my hat," he replied. He seemed a bit too nonchalant about it, which threw Miyako off.
"Hikari saw you."
He nodded.
"Oh fuck," she let herself fell on her bed, already treading the conversation coming when she'll step a feet out of the room. She also had broke the fundamental house rule.
"Do you want me to leave?"
Their eyes locked and she wasn't sure what to think anymore. He was there, on her bed, looking at her with the most gentle look she could ever received and all she wanted was to reach for him. And she did.
He smiled so softly when her right hand gripped her shirt, she started to wonder if there was more than lust behind all his actions.
He moved closer to her, placing his left hand behind her head. He bent to kiss her. She circled her arms around his neck, bringing him down on her.
"I should leave soon," Ken remarked as he looked at the clock by her bed.
"And I'm hungry," Miyako replied.
Yet they both didn't move from the bed. Ken shifted to be on his side, his right arm still under Miyako's head.
"I'm not planning for this to be the last time," he said.
Miyako stayed silent, unsure what to reply. So far, especially with her career, she had never been into commitment. Guys, or girls, usually came and went before anything more was even thought of.
"I know our careers will make it hard but I am attracted to you Miyako-san. For more than just…"
"Fucking?" she offered.
"Yeah. For more than just fucking."
"It was good though"
"Miyako-san."
She sat up, bringing her knees to her chest. "I never committed to a serious thing."
Ken sat next to her.
"And I am not sure I am capable of more than just… fucking, she continued. But I am attracted to you. And you have this amazing great personality and you're hot and the sex was so good like mind-blowing…" she stopped, realizing she was rambling. "Basically, if you are alright with doing this slow, then yes. We can try this more than fucking thing."
Ken chuckled, startling her. "Do you remember when, it was probably the third time we spoke to each other without cameras, and Daisuke and you were joking around?"
"You mean Daisuke was being a dick and I almost light up his drumsticks?"
Ken laughed again. "Yeah that. I don't know why, I can't tell why, but at that moment I knew I had to try something."
"Because I have a sick way of revenge?"
"Because you are full of life."
Miyako wasn't sure what that meant, but when Ken was kissing her, it mattered little. She could always ask later.
"Just to be sure," she asked, their lips barely detached, "this more than fucking thing still includes fucking, right?"
He nodded.
"Good. Because for sure I-"
His lips interrupted her.
They heard a knock at the door. "Sora just cooked for lunch and wants to know if you want some," Hikari said through the door, "Ichijouji-san, you can also join us."
Miyako groaned. "I completely forget they were there."
Ken smiled and got up, slowly founding his clothes discarded earlier. "I have to go anyway, I have recording later." Once clothed, he took his cellphone to call a taxi.
Miyako got up and searched for a comfy shirt to wear with pyjama shorts.
Ken was the first to get out, saying his greetings to Sora and his sorry for "staying without telling you". Miyako snorted.
She dragged her feet out of her room, not daring to look at her friends' faces.
"I have to leave but thanks for inviting me," he continued as he insisted he didn't need lunch. He said his final goodbyes to Sora and Hikari.
Miyako followed up him to the door, mainly because it was easier than staying in the kitchen.
"Miyako-san."
She looked up to him, finding unfair they just had sex and she was probably a mess but he still looked like he was ready for a photoshoot.
He kissed her. Hard. Breathtakingly.
She grabbed his jacket to pull him closer as he pushed her to the wall. She was almost to the point of throwing one leg around his waist when he drawn back.
Miyako almost whimpered.
Then she started to wonder if she had put a panty on because fuck, how can a kiss make her stain herself so much?
He smirked, eyes shining. "Talk to you soon."
She nodded.
He posed a tender kiss on her forehead and without more he left.
She stayed there, staring at the door, heart feeling like Sora had started a mean drum solo. How someone could make her so horny and then make her blush like a virgin maiden with barely touching her inside five minutes?
"He'll be the death of me."
The End
And I just imagine Ken blushing and being embarrassed in the elevator because Ken. I'm also wondering about the talk in the kitchen after Ken left. (Can someone else write it?)
Hope you enjoyed! Please review.