Goku straightens his tie in the mirror, he looks good even if he does say so himself. His black locks are glossy and rich, his onyx eyes sparkling, his deep charcoal suit perfectly tailored and his…..black (can't think of any more words for black, there's a lot of it ok give me a break) shoes are shiny and brand new.
"You're making a huge mistake," Chichi sings over his shoulder "I don't know why you even want to marry that slut, when you could be marrying me,"
"Oh, chichi you know I have to go through with this wedding," He tells his friend
"well, you don't have to. We could run away together, and you would never have to see that idiot again. You know you don't really want to get married,"
"ha-ha I don't want to run away with you either though,"
"But Goku I love you," She sighs fluttering her eyelids at the man she has loved since she was a small girl.
"ha-ha, stop being silly you," he says, poking her gently on the nose
"Well come on then isn't it time for the big twist," Chichi says rolling her eyes again
"What do you mean?"
"Well all these lovely readers are probably thinking that you are getting ready to go and marry Vegeta, isn't it about time you tell them that you haven't even met him yet?" She exclaims
"Vegeta? Vegeta who? I'm going to marry Bulma," he says.
Bulma lays he frilly white dress on the bed and calls in her bridesmaid launch.
"I can't do it," She says
"Bulma why are you not dressed, you can't get married in jeans put your dress on Goku will be here any minute," Launch says hurrying over to her best friend, the one person she would always be there for.
"I can't do it, I can't marry Goku," Bulma cried dramatically flopping onto the queen-sized bed
"What? are you insane? Goku is perfect, maybe even too perfect. He is super sexy, he's kind and thoughtful, he is strong and gentle, and I bet he has a huge dick,"
"I know Goku is a beautiful man, but my heart belongs to another. I have fallen for Vegeta, and I plan to run away with him,"
"Omg you must have lost the fucking plot, have you even met Vegeta? he's a total cunt,"
"I know, I know, he has very few redeeming qualities, but my god have you seen his ass? You could crack a walnut between those cheeks,"
"Alas it is true, his butt is a masterpiece crafted by the hands of god himself, but You can't love someone based solely on their ass,"
"Buns of steel,"
"He is a genocidal maniac Bulma"
"With a smoking hot bubble butt,"
"He has killed children before,"
"Prince of allllllll booty,"
"Ok fine I can see you have already made your mind up, what would you have me tell Goku. He would be most upset if he knew you had run off with his rival,"
"Oh no they are not rivals in this piece of writing, I would say story but I'm not really sure there will even be a coherent story line here, in fact Goku and Vegeta have never even met. Just tell him my heart belongs to Vegeta,"
"Ok, be safe Bulma," Launch smiles as Bulma leaves to follow her dreams. Bulma is her best friend who would never totally forget she existed, she deserves to be happy.
So Bulma runs into the forest with Vegeta, the love of her life (for the moment, I mean this is Kakavege week after all, so you can probably guess things might go wrong for this star-crossed couple lololol) they more than likely kissed or something, but I don't feel like writing that.
Upon hearing the news that Bulma had run off with another man Chichi burst into fits of giggles, ha, that's what he gets for marrying Bulma when it's obvious they Goku and herself were made for each other. She follows Goku into the forest, coz he followed Bulma into the forest, coz she followed Vegeta into the forest I don't know why he swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die.
Night fell, hitting an old lady on the head as it did
"Ow, you spiteful bugger," She yelled shaking her fist furiously at the sky. Bulma and Vegeta decided to take a nap, they had been walking through the forest all day and were really really tired. They lay down together under a tree, five feet apart coz Vegeta is gay, and feel into a deep sleep.
Meanwhile in some other part of the forest (it's a really big forest) Goku is walking around looking for his runaway bride with Chichi still traipsing along behind him, begging him to stop this silly search and marry her instead. She kinda wishes she just tricked him into marrying her when he was a kid or something but that seems a little farfetched.
Little do they know they are being watched by a tiny fairy named Yamcha
"Why do I have to be a fairy," he asks rolling his eyes at the silly writer
"Because I need someone who can do spells and also this story is loosely based on a midsummer night's dream," The silly writer replies
"why can't I be a wizard," He asks
"Hmmm yes a wizard is much hotter. Only if you wear a pointy hat," She bargains
"Deal".
A wizard in a tall pointy hat watches the couple through the bushes, his hat is so tall and pointy that he struggles to conceal it behind the bush, and the hat is also covered in silver shimmering stars and its made of the finest velvet. It's a fucking nice hat. Also, he has a cape to go with it, he looks awesome. He hears Chichi begging Goku to love her and he feels sad for her, he sneaks back to his underground lair to whip up a love potion and help the poor girl out.
He makes a love spell of the strongest kind. All he must do is sprinkle it into Goku's eyes and the next person he looks at he will fall truly madly deeply in love with, what could possibly go wrong.
Yamcha sends his cat Puar to pour the potion into Goku's eyes
"What does he look like?" the cat asks because in this world some animals can speak while others can't. I'm not sure if I know why that is, possibly just a plot hole but never mind it's irrelevant at the moment
"He's a big man with spikey black hair," Yamcha informs him, Puar sets off to complete his task, hoping he may get a nice treat if he does good.
Now this is usually the part of the story where the potion ends up in the wrong eyes or something, but it's been so long since I read it I really can't remember so I'm just gonna do whatever. I think a donkey was involved but I'm not really a furry, I mean I dabble but you know who doesn't, don't lie and say you've never have a peek at that fish dudes dick. if you want donkeys I hear furrafinity is good. Anyway, where were we?
So Puar waits for Goku to fall asleep and sprinkles the potion in his eyes, then (can you believe it) Chichi gets drawn away by some flashing lights in the distance or some shit. At the same time Vegeta hears snoring coming from a cave and goes to investigate, I bet no one guessed that was going to happen!
Vegeta's footfalls echoed around the shallow cave where Goku was fast asleep, his face calm and serene, his breathing deep and even. Is this love at first sight, or maybe an undeniable pull drawing the two together, that's the type of shit I normally come out with?
"Oi wake up dumass," Vegeta shakes the perfect stranger awake. Wondering who this guy is and what he is doing sleeping in a cave all on his own.
Goku's eyelids open fast, no fluttering today and he looks into the face of what must be an angel. His skin is flawless, not sure if he is white or Asian it depends on who is drawing him, personally I like to give him a nice caramel skin tone, his eyes are as black as midnight, and his cheekbones could cut cheese.
"Who are you?" Goku gasps in wonderment
"I'm Vegeta, who are you?" he replies in a gravely yet still smooth voice, how many times have I used that line? Ha-ha.
"Vegeta, I feel as though I've heard that name before, maybe in a dream? I'm Goku,"
"Kakarot, that's a nice name," Vegeta says with a smirk, that seems to be on his face 24/7 I really need to think of a better facial expression for him.
"Vegeta, I love you," Goku says sincerely
"Love? Kakarot? Isn't that a little fast, I mean I know I'm totally gorgeous, but you've literally only just looked at me,"
"Of course, it's fast, this is a lesleytonyb story, we have to fall in love fast or she will get impatient waiting for the sex scenes,"
"There will be no sex scenes in this story thank you very much, I don't swing that way," Vegeta says running from the cave before I get carried away and make them fuck.
Goku, or is it Kakarot? Hot on his heels, he can't possibly let this wonderful man get away he is too in love withy him. he watches his butt as he runs and my god its amazing. Goku has never seen a butt like this before, the guy has booty for days and days and days and days.
"Please wait," Goku calls as he chases the man of his dreams in a totally non-perverted way
"Fuck off," Vegeta calls back. They stop in a little clearing, cute woodland animals and rocks and things all around them
"Stop following me you freak, or I'll blast you into next week," Vegeta sneers
"Well since in this story there's no trunks I assume there's no time machine so technically you can't blast me into next week," Goku explains, wondering why that stupid expression is so popular, its impossible to slap someone into the future mum!
"and anyway, I can't stop following you, I love you,"
"Fine you asked for it," Vegeta screams in that sexy way he always does when he is really angry. He shoots a big yellow beam at the other man who easily DODGES it coz you know he's Goku and there's no wat anyone is ever going to let Vegeta beat him even for one lousy second. Please Toriyama.
The beam hits a tree, right in the bark. The tree is shocked to say the least. Usually the most excitement he gets on a Friday night is a couple of squirrels rowing over a nut, maybe the odd owl asking who? Over and over again, bloody birds never know what's going on. But this! This is something else. If you had of asked the tree yesterday
"Do you think you'll get shoot tomorrow?" he would have said…well nothing coz he can't talk, but if he could talk he would have said
"No way mate, nothing that exciting ever happens in this neck of the woods" but he would have been very wrong, as the gaping hole in his fattest most favourite branch is now proving. To say he was upset about the hole isn't quite true, it does give him a sort of edge that other trees don't have, he doesn't hate it, he's just shocked is all, its gonna take him a while to get his head round it, or his…..what is the top of a tree called? I could google it but that would be far too much effort, so head will have to do.
"Now leave me alone Kakarot, I'm not interested, I'm going to find Bulma who has miraculously disappeared for this part of the story, I don't know why," he turns away, leaving a teary eyes Goku behind him, he watches the sway of his perfect little butt as he leaves and decided its worth giving it one more try, he cant let the only person he has ever loved walk out of his life, he just can't, he needs Vegeta, he needs to hear his voice and touch his silky smooth hair, he loves him more than life itself and he just can't let him go.
"Vegeta wait, before you go, I need to show you something, something that may just change your mind about me, feast your eyes on this," he says untying his belt and letting his trousers fall in a heap at his feet. Angels sing a beautiful chorus, the clouds part and a single beam of golden light shines down from the heavens, shedding its celestial glow onto the most perfect dong Vegeta has ever seen in all his life. It was amazing, a shlong and a half, the best ding-a-ling in all the land
"Kakarot, your cock…..it's wonderful," Vegeta says
"I know right. Isn't it the best dick you've ever seen?" Goku exclaims
"Oh, by far. This member has to be the greatest ever," Vegeta interjects
"Now do you love me Vegeta? now you've seen my huge tool?" Goku asks
"With a willy like that its impossible for me not to love you, your penis is a work of art," Vegeta ejaculates (yes, I went there, and what)
"Why thank you. Now that you are in love with me shouldn't we do some kind of weird ballet, then have a fight before biting each other?"
"No…. why the fuck would we do that?" Vegeta asks with a baffled expression
"Well I was under the impression that this writer likes the idea of your butt wiggling as you dance and also has some kind of sick twisted blood/biting kink that she doesn't tell too many people about,"
"Well they know now, anyway I don't care about her depraved kinks if you bite me I will restrain you to a wall with Ki and slap you about a bit coz I'm sure no one has a kink for that. now will you stick to the script please?" Vegeta says
"Oh yes, do we have a script? where were we?"
"I believe we were using as many names as possible for your meat rod,"
"Of course, my wang, how could I forget, so do you want to fuck?"
"Oh, for sure now I've seen the size of your love gun how could I not want it inside me?" Vegeta says pulling of his clothes
"But Vegeta wait, don't you usually top in Lesley's stories, surely the size of my mast is irrelevant,"
"This is true, but she has been warming up to the idea of you topping me recently so this could go either way," Vegeta shrugs
"True, not that it matters mind you, there is no importance whatsoever in who is top and who is bottom," Goku says thoughtfully
"Right that's it, no more internet for you," Vegeta says pointing his finger at the younger man
"Oh man,"
"Can you just get back to the fucking story, I don't wanna be involved in this ridiculous thing any longer than I need to be, what happens next, do we fuck or what?"
"Next the girls find us and demand to know what's going on," Goku tells him
"Oh ok, wait what? I don't want the girls to find us I want to run away with you and your amazing tally whacker into the sunset where we can live happily together forever," Vegeta says softly caressing Goku's pretty face, making him blush in a very girly fashion that canonically doesn't make any sense, but I like it goddammit.
"Goku and Vegeta what are you two doing, come back here and marry us both immediately," A female voice rings out spoiling the romantic moment. Both men look at each other surprised
"How did they find us!" they yell
"Now we will have to marry them, but I love you Goku," Vegeta whimpers with unshed tears in his eyes
"Oh Vegeta, did you forget that we can fly again?" Goku says gently holding his lover tightly round the waist and taking off into the air
"Screw you guys were leaving," he calls down to the two women before sticking up his middle finger and blasting away into the night sky. Is it night? I can't remember.
The two beautiful women are left staring after them, wondering what the hell just happened
"Should we try to find them or what?" chichi asks
"Nah fuck them, you wanna make out?" Bulma asks. Chichi eyes up the blue haired beauty, she is very easy on the eye
"Sure, why not," She shrugs, and they proceed to have the best sex either of them has ever had, Goku's gigantic power pole had nothing on this.
A few miles away the boys land atop a mountain
"So, I think this is the end of this story, its nearly midnight and the writer has been awake for 72 hours straight hence the ridiculousness of this thing. Isn't it about time you think something deep and meaningful about how much you love me and as long as you have me everything else doesn't matter. Maybe even a little moral to the story?" Goku asks waiting for Vegeta to finish with his usual lines
"Nah fuck that, I'm going to bed," He says curling up on the ground like a little kitten, Goku moving to curl around him and keep him warm.
And here we leave our two sleeping guys, warm and snug on the top of a mountain
The end
P.s fuck you - from Vegeta xxxxx