A/N: Hi! How's it going, everybody? I'm back with another story! This is my theory for what would happen in the upcoming Loud House episode where Sam is reintroduced with a bigger role. (I mean, my story "Listen to the Band" was also a theory, but this story has less objectionable content and no OCs who develop critical plot importance although they were originally intended for a one-off joke.) But yeah; here's another theory, and I'm going to keep it closer to the style of the show.

This story has no relation to any of my other Loud House stories.

DISCLAIMER: The Loud House, all related characters, and any other pop culture references don't belong to me.

Enjoy!

Lori paced back and forth in her room, fretting about what to do. Her siblings watched her pace patiently, conferring amongst themselves; that is, all except Lynn were doing so. Lynn was bouncing a tennis ball off Leni's dresser while muttering something to herself about a hot tamale. The siblings were hesitant to state their theories to solve their conundrum because they hoped Lori had a better one.

Lori finally stopped pacing and turned towards her ten siblings. They all looked her way, hoping that she'd thought of some solution. The frustration on Lori's face belied their hopes somewhat.

Lori said, "I..."

She shook her head. "I have no idea what to do."

Lori sighed and fell face-first onto her bed. Lana narrowly dodged out of her way.

All the siblings sighed. They started talking again.

After a couple minutes of discourse, Luna's face brightened. She leaped to her feet. Her siblings all turned to look at her, hoping she had a solution.

First, she had to pay her respects to the obligatory rules of the special sibling meetings.

"Permission to speak freely?" Luna asked Lori.

Lori sighed and smacked her authoritative shoe on the bed. "Permission granted. Now out with it."

Luna began, "I got an idea for how we can get to the Waitress play with Pop-Pop, dudes!"

Everyone cheered.

Lori rapped the shoe on her bed several times to get everyone to settle down before realising that it made almost no noise; the pillow underneath the quilt was nice and fluffy. She then called out, "Settle down!"

Everyone stopped cheering and returned their attention to Luna.

Luna continued, "So... You guys remember Sam, right?"

Everyone nodded. A resounding shipping squeal ensued.

Lola grabbed Lori by the shoulders and shook her back and forth, yelling, "I SHIP IT I SHIP IT I SHIP IT!" Lori yelled back, "I LITERALLY DO TOO!"

Luna remarked with an embarrassed grin, "I guess you do."

There was no response.

Luna yelled louder, "I SAID, I guess you DO!"

Everyone promptly stopped squealing.

Luna continued, "Well, she owes me a favour. And she's got a sweet ride."

The siblings exchanged glances; they saw where Luna's plan was headed.

"What does she owe you for?" asked Lincoln.

Luna shrugged. "Eh; it involved a shopping list, polka, and a perfect SAT score, and that's all I'm willing to tell.

"So, what I was thinking was that we five older sisters borrow Sam's car to get to the show, and we leave the rest here. Ya know, 'cuz Waitress is most definitely not a kids' show?"

All the siblings nodded.

"Yeah, but who would look after us?" asked Lucy.

Luna replied brightly, "Linc is old enough, right?"

Lincoln piped up, "Yeah! I can handle you guys!" He smacked his fist into his palm.

Lori smirked and shook her head. "No, no, no. You are literally not old enough to deal with your little sisters. I've had sixteen years' experience dealing with siblings, and I can still hardly handle you guys."

Lincoln snapped, "Yeah, but that's because you've had to deal with all ten of us!"

Luna interjected, "Nah, nah, nah, Lori's got a point. Remember that time Mom and Pop took Lori and Leni out shopping for middle-school homecoming dresses?"

All the siblings except for Lisa and Lily shivered.

Luan remarked, "I will forever despise the scent of barbecued oysters."

Lynn jumped up and leveled an accusatory finger at Luan. Sweat droplets were beading on her forehead. "Don't say the O-word! Don't! You! Dare!"

Luan grinned insincerely. "Oyster."

Lynn clasped her hands over her ears. "NO! STOPPIT! STOPPIT STOPPIT STOPPIT!"

Luan laughed. "Oyster oyster oyster!"

Lynn had just enough presence of mind to reach for Lori's golf club and threaten her obnoxious sister. Lori had plenty enough presence of mind to rip it out of Lynn's hands.

"ENOUGH!" she shouted, banging her shoe first on the fluffy pillow, then on Lynn's head, which emitted a far louder noise.

Lori turned to Luan, brandishing her shoe like a butcher knife. "If I hear you say the O-word one more time," she barked, teeth clenched, "I will literally turn you into A HUMAN PRETZEL!"

Luan whimpered and clutched Lucy like a security blanket. Lucy hissed and wriggled out of her grasp.

Lori turned to Lynn, who was clutching her sore head. "LYNN! If I see you threaten your sisters one more time-"

"And brother!" interjected Lincoln.

"And brother. If I see you do that one more time, I'll tell Tanya about that diary of yours!"

Lynn gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

Lola giggled maniacally. "Oh, she WOULD dare! And if she doesn't, I'll do it!" She made a mocking smoochy face and began to imitate Lynn's voice. "'Oh Tanya, how I wuv the way your eyes twinkle when you put me in a full nelson!'"

It was Lynn's turn to be reduced to a nervous wreck. She and Luan held each other, sucking their thumbs.

Lily gave the two of them a disapproving look and said, "Poo-poo."

Lana asked, "What if Sam baby-sitted us?"

Lori looked startled, then smiled. "Good idea!" She turned to Luna. "Do you think she'd be up for that?"

Luna shrugged. "I'll give her a call. See what she says."

All the siblings cheered.

Lana said, "Put her on speakerphone!"

Luna dialed the number, set it on speakerphone, then listened.

After three rings, Sam picked up. "Hey, it's Sam Sharp. Whaddya want?"

Luna smoothed down her hair. "Wassup, Sam? It's Luna. You're on speaker."

"Oh, hey, Moon Unit! What's happening?"

Lori turned to Lincoln and grabbed him by the shirt collar. She whispered, "Oh my God she's even got a cute nickname for her EEEEEEEEEE!"

Luna shouted, "Shaddup, Lori!"

Lori let go of Lincoln's collar. Lincoln gasped for air.

Luna cleared her throat and resumed talking to Sam. "Sorry about that, luv. My sibs are in the room with me 'cuz we were just talk-"

Lori squealed softly, "You called her 'luv'! You called her 'luv'! Oh my god! Oh my-"

Lincoln shot Lori a withering gaze. Lori stopped fangirling.

Sam asked, "You were talking 'bout what?"

Luna replied, a distinct edge to her voice, "If my big sis would stop INTERRUPTING ME, then maybe you would KNOW ALREADY."

Lori sighed.

Luna continued, "Well, me, Lori, Leni, Luan, and Lynn were gonna go see the musical Waitress with our Pop-Pop. And the 'rents will be on an anniversary date. So, I was wondering if you wanted to babysit for the rest of my sibs?"

Sam replied, "Sorry, Lunes, but I can't. My folks are out o' town visiting my uncle. So I gotta watch-"

Over the phone, the Louds heard a loud THUD and a little boy making loud car noises.

Sam yelled, "SIMON! STOP IT! Get off of me! I am not a race track!"

Simon said, his voice faint, "But YOU said life is a highway!"

Sam groaned. "There's a big difference between me and life and between a race track and a highway."

"But you were going really fast on the highway, trying to beat Ruth to that store that one time!"

"Didn't I tell you not to mention that ever again?"

"Oh, right! You did!" Simon laughed. "It was funny, though, how your face looked when the police car started going WEEEOOOOOOOOOOOW! WEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

Sam shot back, "I'm trying to call Luna right now. Go play in traffic."

"Ooh! Luna? THAT girl? Didn't you say something about her being so se-"

"GO!"

The Louds heard scampering footsteps recede in the background.

Sam returned to the phone. "Sorry about Simon. But yeah. I gotta watch him. So I'm basically stuck in here."

Leni gasped. "You're stuck in Luna's phone? Oh no! I'll get you out!" She tore Luna's phone out of her hand and started banging it against the dresser.

Luna yelled, "Stop it! Gimme that! That's not what she meant!" She grabbed her phone back from her ditzy sister. "Sorry about that," she told Sam. "My big sis doesn't really get some stuff, know what I mean."

"Yeah. Like Amelia Bedelia, ya know?" Sam replied.

"Totally. Simon still obsessed with the books?"

"Yeah. He says if he can't be a NASCAR driver, he's gonna be a maid when he grows up."

Luna chuckled. "Big dreams for a little kid, huh?"

Lincoln asked, "What if I watched Simon while Sam watched the other girls?"

Luna repeated the query to Sam, intrigued.

Sam replied, "I guess that'd be all right. Linc seems like a mature enough kid. So, when you wanna have me here by?"

Luna turned to Lori. "When we gonna leave?"

"Four. The play's at six-thirty. We should be back by ten."

Luna repeated the information to Sam.

Sam said, "Sounds good! See ya in a few!"

"See ya, Sam!" Luna hung up the phone and set it down on the dresser.

Leni asked, "Is Sam out of there now?"

Luna facepalmed. "Yes. She's free as a bird."

Lori glared at Luna.

Meekly, Luna asked, "What?"

Lori snarled, "You literally forgot to ask Sam about borrowing her car!"

"Oh sh- shingles! Dang it!" Luna fell backwards onto Leni's bed and groaned. "Ugh. Eh, we'll think of a way to get it."

Lola piped up, "We could steal her keys."

Luna replied, "Nah, sis, I don't wanna do that. See, Sam trusts me, and I'm not gonna ruin that for-"

"Slap her butt!" exclaimed Luan. She had recovered from her human-pretzel-fugue a minute ago; Lynn was still curled up in the fetal position.

Luna looked at her, confused. "What?"

"Slap her butt! Then she'll be too shocked to notice that you took her keys, and you'll get a cheap thrill! Two for the price of one!"

Luna rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "You do have a point."

"I know! And didn't you say to me once you thought Sam had a nice KEYS-ter?"

Luna flushed bright red, her hands clenching into fists. "Shaddup."

Lori rapped her shoe against the dresser. "Sibling meeting adjourned!"

All the siblings left Lori's room except for Lori and Lynn, who was still sucking her thumb.

Lori looked at her, confused, then called, "Lisa? What's wrong with Lynn?"

Lisa strode (well, about as well as a four-year-old can stride) back into the room, then inspected Lynn. "Hmm. Peculiar. She appears to have some variant of post-traumatic stress disorder, presumably incited by your threats for the revelation of her amourous prose to her unaware paramour."

"Uh, English, please?"

"That was English. To put it in terms suited to the less verbally gifted, Lynn is out of it, and it's your fault. I shall escort her to her quarters and administer proper electroshock therapy."

"Oh, no you're not!" Lori shoved Lisa away from Lynn and gently picked Lynn up. "You are literally not going to electrocute your sister, not while I'm on watch!"

Lori carried Lynn to her room. Lynn continued to whimper softly.

Lisa shuffled out, muttering to herself about how one of these days, they would all understand.

Yes, LoudAutomata16. That just happened. We now have LynnxTanya in the archive.

The first part of the story turned out longer than I expected it to. So, this story is going to have multiple chapters, but I don't anticipate it being very long. Don't worry, I promise to update more frequently than I have in the past. You should expect the next chapter to be out by next week.

See you soon!