His Pain and Happiness
Hello there everyone, I guess you've found my very first one shot. Please don't be too hard at me because English is not my first language. Using the same reason, please forgive me if there is any grammar error.
Disclaimer : if I owned GA then why am I writing fanfiction?
Oh, by the way, I use Natsume's point of view in this story and all of the characters are 16 years old.
I was sitting under the sakura tree, reading my manga like I usually did when a familiar voice calling me. "Natsume! Natsume! You won't believe what happened to me just now!" polka a.k.a Mikan Sakura, my childhood friend, running towards me while yelling those words. Her bright smile plastered on her face. "What is it polka?" I asked her with when she finally reached me. Suddenly, I got a feeling what she was going to say was bad news for me, and my feeling was right.
"He finally confessed to me Natsume!" Mikan said it very clearly but I barely heard her. It was like I heard her voice from the end of a tunnel. For a few seconds I lost my voice, not knowing what I should do or say. I finally manage to get a grip of myself and asked her, trying really hard to sound as if I didn't give a damn of what she just said. "Then, what do you said to him?" I can't help myself to ask that, because I wanted to have a little hope, something to make me believe that I still got a chance with her.
"Of course I said yes you silly. From all people, you should be the one who know very well that I like Akira for quite a long time," she answered, not noticing that when I heard her said that I just wanted to burry myself in a hole. I really hope that the ground would eat me or just simply open up to me so that I can jump in. I can't stand myself hearing her, the girl that I love whole heartedly since we were kids, talking about other guy, talking about the guy she love. She kept talking about the guy that confessed to her, and about her, who apparently and unfortunately, accepted that confession because she happened to like that guy too.
Oh God, what sin I have done that made You have to give me this kind of pain in my life?
The days past and me and polka were still good friends. That Akira, unfortunately, always around Mikan in every damn time, having his filthy hand around her waist or shoulder. What made things worse was, I can't do anything about it because I didn't have any rights to kick that guy away, no matter how much that idea sounds great in my head. But the thing that I hate the most was polka who seemed really happy and she smiled to him more often than me. It may sound really childish and possessive, but I just wanted her to smile at me and only me. She usually laughed at my sarcastic comments or got mad at me when I teased her. Well, she still did, but something changes between us. Especially when that (ahem) bastard was around, she didn't even glance at me for heaven sake!
However, I have reach the conclusion that no matter how hurt I am, or no matter how bad I wanted to torture that idiot brat who stole my suppose-soon-to-be girlfriend, I need to control my anger and jealously. Why you asked? Because polka will surely kill me (well, not literally) if I dare to just lay a finger on that brat. Am I really that hopeless to win this battle?
It was Sunday morning when polka barged in to my house. We were neighbours by the way, our house were exactly next to each other. Without any greeting she just asked me this shocking question. "Natsume, can you go out with me today?" my mouth slidely open when I heard that question. It was not like we haven't gone out together. We always did it once in a month, or every time we finished our exam week. But, didn't she supposed to go out with her boyfriend considering that she have one. I need to ask her about it.
"What's the matter with Akira huh? Aren't you supposed to go out with him considering that he is your boyfriend, not me," I think I'm scratching my throat just by saying his name and saying him as Mikan's (ugh) boyfriend.
"Well, I can't ask him out because my purpose on going out today is to find his birthday present, and I think I need some advice from you because you're a guy and you must know what guys like when it comes to present," Mikan explained. Oh, so right now she asked me out to find a gift for that idiot. I really wanted to shout at her for being so dense because she was really clueless about my feelings towards her.
But I didn't do that. Instead, I accepted her invitation. I think I'm a masochistic because I let her torturing me. Am really that desperate just to have time being alone with her in a couple of hours? And in that couple of hours we were looking for a present for another guy, not me. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I was a masochistic.
Well, it's worthed though because I have an amazing time with her. We didn't waste lots of time to find the gift. In fact, we were having fun together; it almost felt like we were back at that time when she haven't dated that guy. "Thanks for accompanying me today Natsume. I have such a great time," Mikan said when we finally on our way back home. "Hn," that's all I said and I curse myself for not giving a better answer for her statement. When I finally reach her house she jumped out from my car and said, "thanks once again Natsume. See you at school." And with those words she got into her house while humming a happy song. I can't help myself but to watch her, her beautiful brown locks which curl at the end bounce every time she take a step. How I wish I'm the one who's allowed to run my hand on that silky brown hair.
It's been three months since Mikan started dating that idiotic brat. I don't even know why I haven't kill that brat already. Ruka, my best friend and also my other childhood friend was worrying about how I felt with the fact that Mikan was going out with someone else. "Why don't you just find another girl Natsume? Maybe by doing that you will finally accept their relationship," Ruka suggested me in one afternoon when we were sitting under my favorite spot at school, under the sakura tree. I sigh. I was reading manga to distract my thoughts from thinking a certain brunette-haired girl but Ruka just have to come up with the topic that include that girl in it.
I growled before answering," I have love this girl for 5 f*cking years Ruka. I always be with her every time she was happy, angry or sad. I used to be the one she would ran for when she got bad score and got yelled by her parents. I used to be the guy who she always ran for to find comfort. With all of the histories between us I thought we have a special bond, that someday I will get a chance to finally become hers, but faith just have to get in my way. So, tell me Ruka, if you were on my shoes, can you get yourself a replacement? Well, don't bother answering me because the answer is no, I can't, because I have loved this girl almost in my entire life and I will always love her." That's the longest sentences I ever spoke in my entire life and I fully aware that I sounded really pathetic.
But when you love someone you can't just stop loving that person right?
Ruka sigh when he heard my answer. "You sound really pathetic Natsume, and I hate seeing you like this. Even Hotaru get worried about you. But please don't tell her I said that because she will surely gonna skin me alive even though we are going out," said Ruka. I smiled a little when hearing that statement. It was a mystery of how a warm and kind type-of-guy like Ruka having the ice queen as his girlfriend. Well, it was one of seven wonders in our school.
"But seriously Natsume, think about what I said okay, about moving on and finding another girl," Ruka said. When he left me alone my mind kept thinking about his suggestion but damn, there was something inside me that preventing me to do as what Ruka suggested. Why I can't just give up on her already?
I walked into the class room that day and the first thing that greeted me that morning was those girls squealing at the back of the class. My head turned to the source of that sound and I saw polka with all of her friends (except Hotaru) were sighing dreamingly. I wonder what happened because polka looked extremely happy, happier than she always did.
Well, because I sit beside polka in class I forced my leg to walk to that source of noisiness. "Good morning Natsume," she greeted me while her eyes shine with nothing but happiness and her smile was way brighter than usual. "Why are you so happy this morning little girl? Did you finally get an A in algebra?" I teased her.
Usually she would scream at me for saying such of mean things to her. But today, she shocked me when her come back to my tease was only a smile and she said," there is nothing you said or do that can make me angry today Natsume." I jaw dropped when I heard her said that. Am I even heard her correctly? What the hell is going on today, or more likely, what's going on with her?
She laughed at my shocked expression and reaction. Okay, this girl was insane. I touch her forehead and said, " gee polka, no wonder you're acting so weird. You're terribly sick."
She laughed again at my sarcastic words and playfully slapped my hand off of her forehead. "Well, maybe you're right when saying that I'm sick, because I'm really sickly in love right now."
All of her friends, even the ice queen, looked at me with nothing but sympathy plastered on their face. Heck, now I get pitied by girls huh? It seemed like it was a public secret that I have a special feelings for polka. This little girl, unfortunately, fully oblivious with my feelings right now and kept babbling without taking a breath, talking about her idiotic boyfriend.
"Akira is so sweet Natsume! He took me out last night to this romantic candle light dinner in a romantic restaurant to celebrate our monthsary. We even danced together under the moon with romantic song played in violin. Nobody ever treated me like that before, he make me feel special," she said that while her eyes were closed, recalling back that happy moment between her and Akira. And then she sighed in happiness while finally opening her eyes, back to the present.
Okay, maybe Ruka was right about moving on and got a replacement. Because if I have to live my life, hearing her retelling her romance life to me, sooner or later I was sure I'll gonna commit suicide.
Just when I have a serious thinking about getting a replacement, that thing happened.
It all started when I was at home alone that night and there was no food. So, to prevent myself from dying in hunger I went to the minimarket to buy an instant ramen. It was raining right before I went back to home. It was a good thing I brought an umbrella with me. When I turned at the corner and saw my house, the first thing that caught my attention was a figure, sitting against the wall in front of my house. And then, a few seconds later, I realized that that figure was Mikan and she was soaking wet.
I gasped when that reality hit me and I found myself running to her, and when I finally reached her I covered her from the rain with my umbrella and said," what the hell do you think you're doing polka, do you want to get sick?" I didn't mean to say harsh words at her but I couldn't control it. I was dead worried about her because no sane or okay people would sit under the rain in the middle of night.
She looked up at me while still hugging her knees. Even though her face was wet because of the rain, I could tell that besides the rain, her face was wet because of tears. "Natsume," she called me softly, maybe finally realized that it was me who was right in front of her. She stood up and rested her head on my chest while she continued to cry.
I don't know what the hell happened but I did what I always do when she cried. I hugged her and stroked her hair while saying," shh shh, Mikan, it's okay. I'm here for you." Her body shaking in my arm while she was sobbing uncontrollably. I brought her into my house and thank goodness I was alone that night because my mother will surely gonna interrogated me if she saw me bringing home a crying teenage girl.
I sat polka on the couch and left her for a moment to get her a towel and a cup of hot chocolate. I always gave her hot chocolate every time she was crying and it was really helping her to calm down. I won't get the title 'best friend' if I didn't know such thing about her like how to comfort her when she cried. "Thank you Natsume," she thanked me with a soft voice and forced a small smile while taking the cup of hot chocolate from my hand. She drank it a little and then clasped her hand on the cup, savoring the warm sensation from the hot chocolate.
It was silent for a moment before the curiosity inside me made me broke it. "What happened Mikan?" I asked her softly, calling her real name. I wonder what happened to her because I rarely saw her like this. The last time I saw her this sad when her dog, poochy, died when she was twelve. She seemed lost in her thoughts for a while and I patiently waiting for her to say something.
"Natsume, I…" she finally managed to say something. "Me and Akira, we broke up." She finally got herself to say that with a soft voice before breaking into another cry.
What she said just now was really shocked me and felt guilty to her because I was a little bit happy to know that she broke up with him. I mentally slapped myself and shook my head to forget that feeling and sat closer to her before hugging her again. She buried her face in my chest and continued to cry. While stroking her hair and trying to calm her down, I'm cursing this bastard who have the guts to make her cry like this.
I got a sudden urge to run to that guy right this instance and strangle him till death. But I can't do it right now, so, instead of doing it literally, I just have to satisfy myself by torturing him in my mind because this girl in my arms right now was really needed me to comfort her. I tightened my arms around her and let her cry for a moment before asking her with a caring voice," do you want to talk about it?"
She still sobbing but she nod her head. I let her to control her breathing and after a few moments, she calmed down and started to speak. Even though she still sobbing every now and then, making me hard to catch what she was saying. "I was… walking to his classroom…today… and he… I mean I heard him… talking to his friends… and when I'm… close enough to hear them… I heard this… that all of this time… he-he never… really loves me. He's just… date me because… he and his friends having a bet on me... You know right… that everybody always mistaken us as a couple…" my jaw tightened when she said that. I thought I got an idea of what bet those idiots made.
Mikan, not noticing what had run through my mind, kept telling her story. "He bet, that if he could make me fall for him instead falling for you and dated me for a half year, his friends would gave him their cars, but if he lost, he need to hand over his damn lexus," she said with a bitter voice.
"Then what did you do to that bastard?" I asked her, trying my best to control my anger. "I came into his class and without caring of the other students, I slapped him, really hard that made him almost fell on the floor. Then before he could react I said 'we're done' and went out of his class," Mikan finished her narrate. "I felt so stupid for falling to that guy Natsume," she said with a low voice, burying her face on my chest again while I patting her head, not knowing what to say. We both stay in that position before finally falling into a deep sleep.
The next day, I actually wanted to hunt that ass down but polka asked me to not to. And because I didn't want to see her sad, I obey her. All of her girl friends were concerned about her but she assured everybody that she was alright now because she have let out all of her feelings to me last night. I'm glad that I was the one she trusted to comforted her. I made a mental note that I would never ever hurt her. It was really painful when I saw her looked so fragile like last night.
Me and polka were sitting under the sakura tree, our sakura tree to be exact. Sometimes she ditched classes with me under this tree, eyeing the cloud or just do absolutely nothing, enjoying the silent around us. That was what we were doing until someone disturbed us. I turned my gaze at that someone who called Mikan just now I just wanted to tackle him to the ground right for daring to showing his face in front of me. "Mikan, can we talk?" he asked Mikan, but I knew he got a little bit intimidated with my death glare. After all the things he did he still want to talk? He can't be serious.
I looked at Mikan and she gave an assuring look that she will gonna be fine. I sigh and let her talked to that guy, but I'm not leaving them off of my sight. I also could hear what they said clearly even though they were stand not really close to me. "Mikan," I heard that idiot guy called her with her first name and have to prevent myself not to punch him on his face. "I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. Maybe at first it was all just about the bet but when I started to spend time with you, I'm really falling for you. Please, give me a second chance," he almost beg when he said it. Polka, who closed her eyes during his confession, finally opened it and said," I'm sorry Matsuhito-kun, but like I said before, we're done, and nothing you can say or do can make me change my mind," she said, calling him by his last name. Hah, eat that you idiotic bird-brain.
Just when I'm celebrating in my thought for witnessing that idiot being rejected by polka, my eyes shot open when I saw what he was trying to do. He held her head between his hands and pulled her face to his. Polka struggled to get off from his grasped and tried to push him away, their lips were about to meet. I made it there at the right time and landed a punch, a hard one, on his face, sending him to taste the ground. I stood in front of polka protectively and said to him with a very dangerous tone while my eyes burning with anger. "You," I said while grabbing his collar. "Don't you ever dare to touch her again if you don't want to experience my wrath." With those words I dragged polka back to class, leaving that brat lying on the ground.
It was been a month since polka's broke up and she seemed okay now. However, since last month too she started to act weird besides me. She didn't make eye contact with me when we were talking and even though we still went out together on weekend, we always go with the others and she seemed to ignore me and spending more of her time with her girl friends. It was nearly driving me nuts. What have I done this time that made her ignored me like this? I thought really hard but I can't find any of my action that could be possibly the cause of her ignoring me. I personally thought that what I did to her this whole month was really nice.
I never teased her again, and I even teach her math to face jinjin's test, something that I always refused to do because she was really a slow learner and I was not an expert in patient. I did nothing but nice things to her. So, why the hell is she avoiding me?
"Ruka," I called my best friend. "Yeah?" he answered. "Do you know what's going on with polka lately?" I asked him, hoping that he knew something about polka's weird behavior. "I don't know, what happened to her?" Ruka asked me back. I let out a deep breath before answering. "She is avoiding me this whole month, even when our eyes met she always broke it, and she acted really strange around me. Am I did something wrong to her?"
Strangely, Ruka smirked when he heard my replied and said," I thought that it was only Sakura-san who was dense. But apparently, you're as dense as she was." I raised an eyebrow hearing that comes back. "And what do you mean by that?" I asked him, a little bit irritated because I knew he knew something but he decided to make it became a riddle to me.
"Why don't you just ask Sakura-san about it Natsume, instead of me?" Ruka suggested. Well, I will ask her about it if the time was right.
And the right time came a few hours later. I was at home, sitting at the balcony when polka came. "Natsume, what is it? Hotaru asked me to go to you just now from the phone because she said that you got something to tell me. You can just go to my house you know, if it is something really important," she said. Huh, so Ruka have told the ice queen about it. Well, it was a good thing she sent Mikan to me so I'm not gonna complain to Ruka for exposing our brother talk to his girlfriend.
I motioned polka to sit at the couch beside me and she obeyed. Then she stared at me for the first time in this past whole month, letting me to get drown in her hazel eyes. Well, it was now or never, I thought, so I asked her the question that have been lingering in my mind for a whole month. "Why are you avoiding me polka?" I asked her with a low husky voice. She looked a little bit surprise with my question. "What? I didn't avoiding you. What are you talking abo…" she tried to defend herself but I cut her words. "Don't try to deny it polka. You are avoiding me since you broke up with that idiot guy. You never want to make an eye contact with me and when we were out you were always with your girl friends, completely ignoring me. And now you still say that you're not avoiding me? Seriously little girl, what have I done to you?"
She kept silent for minutes and I'm getting impatient. "Mikan," I called her with her real name. I never call her that except when I'm being serious with her and she knew that. She shut her eyes before answering," you did nothing wrong Natsume. It was me who was wrong." Okay, now that was a very weird answer. "What do you mean by that?" I asked her, having no idea about what she meant by saying that.
She let out a deep breath and I could tell that she was frustrated. It was silent between us for a couple minutes, then, finally, she began to talk. "It was me who was wrong Natsume. I can't get myself to look at your eyes and I always have this weird feeling inside my stomach when I was beside you. I felt really weird. You asked me what's wrong but I can't answer it because I don't know what is wrong with me. Every time I looked at your eyes I felt hot on my face and chest and I never felt like that before with anyone and…" I cut her words again by pulling her face and crashing my lips on hers and give her a sweet kiss.
I poured all of my emotion into the kiss, she didn't have any idea how long I have waited her to say those things to me. She was a little taken aback at first but she responded to my kiss by wrapping her arms around my neck. I pull myself after a few seconds and looked at her at her eyes. "You don't have any idea how long I have waited you to say those things," I said.
She kept silent and I called her again. "Mikan." And she looked me at the eyes, hazel met crimson. When our eyes met I could tell that her eyes shining in happiness. "Yes?" she replied. "I love you," I finally get myself to say those three words. She hugged me tight before answering to my confession. "I love you too Natsume," she whispered it in my ears. And I claim her lips one more time, savoring her sweet taste once again. Finally, after a very long time, she became mine.
Aaannd that's it guys, the end of the story. How do you guys think about it? I'm sorry if you guys didn't really like it but I just love torturing Natsume :p He was really possessive and easily get jealous, but I like that side of him XD It is going to be a huge pleasure for me if you guys just give me a review, even a short one. And I'm thinking if I should make a sequel for this fanfic, about Mikan and Natsume life when they are finally dating. Please tell me if you want me to write it.