Full Circle
Summary—Several stream-of-consciousness stories from behind the eyes of Bella's family. Inspired by A Perfect Circle. Not songfics, just little tidbits based off the lyrics. Take place mostly in New Moon and Eclipse.
Rated K+ just because.
Angst.
Disclaimer- I own neither the rights to Twilight nor A Perfect Circle. Just playing with them for a while. (This is my disclaimer for all chapters.)
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Chapter I
The Noose
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As I held her for the first time in months, there was one thing I came to realize: this was not the same Bella I had so callously left behind. She was hesitant, reserved… cautious almost. I wanted to make it all go away, but this change must have ultimately been my punishment. As I held her, we were close—God we were so close!—and yet she was still so far away in a place I could not reach.
When we were together—and happy—back in Forks, ours had been an almost forbidden love, such as that between an angel and a demon. The demon left his angel to let her fly free, but instead, his absence tore her halo down around her neck and the weight of it grounded her in the cruel world of reality. Her cloud of innocence was the home he had loved and shared with her, but he had dragged her away from it to evolve and darken on Earth—alone. I had loved her enough to leave her, but perhaps that had been a mistake.
I had hoped that my love for her—even my love from afar—would calm the souls of those I had heartlessly—hopelessly—destroyed. My love had not changed, but had hers? If so, then I felt that I owed a debt to those souls and would repay it soon enough. If she no longer loved me, then why should I bother remaining? If I was as dead to her as I was to myself, then why should I wait until her death to die?
With all those questions running about my mind, there was no room for anyone else's thoughts. For this I was grateful. I didn't need the advice of my sister or the bloodthirsty thoughts of those around me to intrude on my possibly short moment with my Bella. She had been there, in my arms, waiting as I was, so who was I to refuse such an opportunity? I held her close and sighed into her hair, grateful for the contact, however short-lived it might have been.
Her response was bittersweet: she relaxed, but not enough for my liking. I tried not to get my hopes up, and therefore decided this: Whatever happens now, this hesitancy has to go. First, before all else, I would have to pull that halo up from around her neck and restore it to its proper place. I wanted to give her back her dignity and confidence, then let her show me what she wanted.
With either result, my debt to my dead would be repaid.