Poke'Scenes
(try to stay with me through this intro as there are actual stories to follow, including much improved writing as this fic progresses so give it a chance)
Poke'mon. It now has about seven-hundred episodes and is in it's 10th…12th…14th season? At one time it was the most popular show on the planet, premiering in Japan in 96.
But the following year a seizure incident lead to the series' hiatus.
(The Simpsons make a reference to the incident:)
"Hey isn't this that cartoon that causes seizures?" Bart Simpson asks.
The robots on the television flash out lasers from their eyes, causing Bart and Lisa to have seizures.
"What the?" Marge turns around and gets a seizure of her own.
When the scene became available on the internet for the rest of the world to see...it was a disappointment.
A man in his late thirties sits at a computer, watching the seizure scene. The caption at the bottom of your screen reads 'American watching the seizure incident'
"That's it?" he questions, very disappointed and upset. "Those Japanese are pussies! I've wigged out more from an episode of Spongebob"
The series debut in the United States during September of 98, and swept the country, and opening up the gate to making anime in the states mainstream. It thrilled many, and angered many...
A father with three kids is on his knees in a living room, crying as his children jump up and down shouting out random poke'mon names and simulating battle.
"Damn those poke'men. Damn them all. They've bankrupt me. I can't live on poke'mon cards!" he sobs uncontrollably.
The first season was truly special, thought to be the best of the series. It also included several banned episodes. What you are about to see...is truly disturbing(and all real).
Jessie and James are both in bikinis. James has inflatable breasts and is shaking them in front of a crying Misty. "Come back in ten years when you have these." he says.
(then in the version that wasn't even released in Japan or the UK): Jame's bikini top falls off as his breasts continue to inflate, revealing them to the judge(Brock) and the audience.
"Oh my god there's no nipples on those breasts!" Brock yells, and then looks down at his bare chest "Ahh! There aren't any on mine either. What's going on?"
"Leave me alone, I was born this way." James buries his face into Jessie's chest and cries.
Some scenes were alternated...such as this one:
The Khangaskan kid is staring at Misty "Are you pokemon or people?"
Misty hits him on the head "I'm a human you creep!"
But why would she be so pissed? This is what the original script called for:
He stares at Misty's chest and points "Are those breasts?"
Misty hits him "You little pervert!"
The first of a ridiculous amount of movies also came out, beginning in 1999.
"I didn't know vikings still existed." Brock says in an old viking boat with team rocket disgusing themselves.
"They mostly live in Minnesota." Ash jokes. And you know the rest…magic poke'mon tears brought Ash back to life from turning into stone. I'm pretty sure the same thing happened in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.
The second season came, leaving beloved character Brock behind.
"He said he had personal issues to deal with, so we wrote him out that year." Norman Grossfield, the show's president explains.
The only thing interesting about the second season was the growing idea that Ash and Misty had the hots for each other.
"You must be crazy!" Ash and Misty exclaim in unison after a joke Tracy made about the two liking each other.
"You're a lucky guy, Ash." Rudy tells him.
"What do you mean?" Ash was confused
"You'll find out someday." Rudy says. But he never did and probably never will.
One thing for sure is it inspired a cult following of AAML, or Ash and Misty love. People wrote stories about them on fan fiction dot net, trying to out-do the real writers of the anime series.
When Brock returned at the end of the season, he was open to making jokes about his personal life and incorporating it into the show.
"What happened with you and Professor Ivy?" Misty asks.
"I don't want to talk about it." Brock curls up, and becomes depressed.
After the season ended, a few of the show's best writers left, and the trend continued over the next few years, writers leaving after every season, bad writers brought in. during Master Quest, Misty had contracted HIV, leading to her retirement, ala Magic Johnson. The show's best writers came back to help write a special farewell episode, disappointing many fans.
Ash and Misty face each other. It was a serious scene "Misty..." Ash speaks
"Yeah?" Misty asks, hoping for a remarkable response.
"We like to tease the audience." Grossfield grins evilly.
After a long pause Ash speaks "Your bike's there." he turns to it.
"Oh." Misty was disappointed.
All poke-shipping fans had the same disappointed reaction as Misty at that moment. In the following years many of the committed suicide. Social suicide that is…with the exception of a few people who committed actual suicide.
Misty's replacement was as big a disappointment as the new episodes. The show was eventually sold to Poke'mon USA and the Cartoon Network as 4 Kids was no longer interested in the depleting product.
Oddly enough, as soon as Pokemon's new network picked up the show, everyone's voices mysteriously changed, resulting in even worse ratings. Despite the spike, it was renewed for a tenth season. And a new girl, Dawn was brought in. The writer's hoped her hotness would bring viewer's back. And then she left and so did Brock and Iris joined the cast.
This is the E True Hollywood Story: Poke'mon...
Professor Oak sat at his computer typing. All we can see is the back of him. He turns around and glances at us. "Ahh! Don't look!" he shrieks. The camera turns around... "Ok." he says and we face him. Oak stood up.
"Hello fellow poke'mon fans and poke'haters. I welcome you to Poke'scenes. What is Poke'scenes you ask? I'll tell you. This is a comedy series that has your favorite pokemon characters...yes, even Max. They participate in making fun of many things. They make fun of TV shows, movies, sports, fan fics, current events, and even themselves. Each episode has three to four different stories and...that's all i can tell you because the prompter is broken." he groans loudly.
He starts mumbling "If the show had good ratings we could afford better equipment." he looks at us "OH! Well let's move on to the first story shall we? See ya after the show."
"Who are you talking to, Professor?" Tracy walks up next to him.
"Ahh, no one." the professor shakes his head. Sweat dripped from his forehead.
"Oh. Well Mrs. K wants you to know she's in the bath tub now." Tracy informed him.
Sam(Oak) quickly covers Tracy's mouth "That's nice Tracy, but i don't know why she'd tell you that." he blushes and pushed a button on a remote that moves the scene to the next story.
'We now return to Poke'mon: Diamond and Pearl, so cleverly named.'
"Being a poke'mon trainer is hard work." the voice over man for cartoon network continues "No one knows that better than Dawn. She's so hot. She's just staring up and showing a lot of promise. But she's still got a lot to-" he cant finished because he's being interrupted.
"I'm so sick of this!" Ash falls to his knees. Brock and Dawn stop for him.
"What's wrong, Ash?" Brock asks him.
"Things are so boring now. It's the same thing over and over and over again." he pounded the ground with his fists. "I miss the old days when things were more unpredictable and I drove the story lines." he complained.
"Things change Ash. And not always for the better." Brock told him, he was also unsatisfied with the direction his life was headed.
"I wish i could see what your journey used to be like." Dawn said, while opening her shirt so she showed cleavage to the viewers.
"Check pokemonepisode dot org" Brock whispered in her ear.
"I want my old voice back too!" Ash complained further.
"Tell me about it. I have to cover my ears when you open your mouth!" Brock joined Ash in complaining.
"Prepare for trouble."
"And make it double."
"Oh great." Ash covered his eyes with his right hand.
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all people's with in our...oh i cant take this any more either, Jessie." James whined.
"What's wrong?" Jessie asked. They stood in the meowth balloon that hovered overhead.
"I agree a hundred percent with the twerp. This is really getting old. The same thing over and over again. It's too predictable and lazily written." He replies.
"Jimmy's right ya know." Meowth nodded.
"Guess your right." Jessie wiped a tear from her eye. "Let's go do our own thing." Jessie tugged on the string and the balloon flew off into the distance.
"Looks like Team Rocket's getting a clue!" and with that they were gone after the 'ding!'
"What's with all the negativity?" Dawn asks, living up her skirt so we can see her pink panties in order to maintain the viewer's interest.
"You!" Ash got up in her face and pointed at her.
"Me?" she asked, a sweat drop ran down her head.
"It's new dull characters like you that ruin shows. I want a divorce." Ash turned away and crossed his arms.
"Uh...huh?" Dawn was confused.
"I want a divorce! I'm gonna go off and do my own thing. And there's nothing hot girls like you or pokemon USA can do about it." Ash's feelings about everything was finally coming out. And it shocked...no one.
"Ash. I too am going to follow my dream. I'm gonna stop following you around and actually go do what i set out to accomplish." Brock took his friend's hands in his. "Become a pokemon breeder, and find myself some hoes."
"And i am gonna stop stopping to help out people and pokemon in need and do what Nike' tells me to do. Just do it! Earn my badges and become a master." Ash shook his older friend's hand. "And i'm getting my old voice back too." he clears his throat. "That's better." he sighs in relief of his original voice.
"But..." Dawn was stunned.
"First i'm gonna go to Cerulean City, get my bitch and head back out." Ash threw his fist in the air. Pikachu jumped on to his shoulder.
"What about me?" Dawn asked. Ash walked up to her and planted a big wet one on her lips. "What was that all about?" she was surprised at his action.
"You're hot. I can admit that." he said, and turned around with Brock to start their new journeys. But before leaving, Brock ran back and gave Dawn a kiss as well. Afterwards he caught back up with Ash.
"Looks like it's just you and me." Paul said, who was standing beside a tree.
"Really?" Dawn asked, with a sigh of relief.
"No." then Paul disappeared into thin air.
A man in an expensive suit walks into the scene and clears his throat. "And so Team Rocket went on to start their own restaurant, Brock became a breeder and bagged himself a few chicks. Ash went to Cerulean and picked up Misty, revealing all his feelings to her...oh wait, these are the next episode's story lines. My bad." the man says, revealing himself to be the narrator.
Several cans of soda, bricks, tomatoes, and condoms are thrown at the narrator while at the same time they boo him.
"Leave me alone you nerds!" he yells angrily.
To be continued...
July 8th, 2002 at the Warner Brother's studio lot
A camera man films a guy with a microphone. "Today we go behind the scenes of Poke'mon and find out what it's like off camera." the guy spoke with a British accent. "The actors are starting to arrive."
Brock pulled up to the lot in his Ford truck. He got out and locked the door. "I'm a Ford truck man!" he said as he walked towards the studio. "Brock has arrived. Who will be next?" the reporter asks.
Jessie and James were next to arrive, on their Harley's in black leather jackets and pants with sunglasses on. "Hey guys." the reporter greeted them.
"Sup, fool?" James nodded and the couple walked to the studio to join Brock.
The loud noise of a helicopter close by pierced the surrounding. A chopper came down nearby at a landing zone. Misty walked out of the chopper and towards the lot.
"She likes to travel in style." the reporter notices. Then he noticed someone walking towards him. It was Ash.
"Hey Ash, where's your ride?"
"I like to walk here. I get exorcise and i save money, despite the fact i make millions of dollars." Ash explained and walked on, the camera man and reporter followed him.
Now inside the studio the actors get ready inside their dressing rooms. The reporter walks down the hall and stops at a door in particular. "This is Misty's dressing room. Imagine what it must be like for the security guards that are watching her right now with their spy cameras."
Soon everyone came out of their rooms in their character's clothes. They walked over to a couch and took out the scripts and began rehearsing. "I'm going after them! You guys stay here, k?" Ash read the line.
"Right." Misty and Brock say in unison. Then there was silence. Everyone stared at Pikachu.
"What?" Pikachu asks. "Oh. Is it my line?" he looks at the script. "Pikachu, pika!"
"Here you can see everyone rehearsing their lines for an upcoming episode. How exciting." the reporter says, sitting in a lazy boy near the couch, and eating chips.
Later on in the rehearsal. Team Rocket has used one of their machines to grab Pikachu off of Ash's shoulder. "Hey who did that?" Ash asked.
"Who else, twerp?" Jessie read her line.
"Do you think we'll get away with it in this episode?" James asked, putting the script down.
"Just read your lines." Jessie nudged him.
"Meowth that's right." Meowth skipped ahead to the end of their motto.
"I know this part by heart. Give back Pikachu!" Ash exclaimed, standing up off the couch.
"You might want to check the script." Misty pointed to the paper.
He sat back down and looked at it "What? I don't want to say that. It's stupid." Ash complained and threw the script into a fire place.
"Hey!" one of the writers ran into the room "We can't afford to print more of those. That's coming out of your salary." he told Ash.
"Look what you did Ash. Apologize." Misty got up in his face.
"Never!" Ash gritted his teeth up in her face, she did the same.
The reporter began to narrate "It appears as if these two not only fight on the show, but they fight behind the scenes too. Pure gold."
"I'll kill you!" Ash clenched his fists.
"You don't have the balls, shorty." Misty shoved him.
"Shove me again. Watch what happens." he dared her.
"I will." she shoved him again, a little too hard. He fell into the fire place.
"Ooh-hoo. Burn." Brock joked. But his joking ended as a fireplace poker/sphere pierced through his stomach and fell to the ground dead.
"That was a little extreme, Ash." Jessie says.
"Shut up, Jessie. No one likes you." Ash told her.
"At least i make more money than you." she said quietly.
"This is all your fault Misty." Ash pointed to her.
"Me? You're the one who's stupid." she pointed back.
"This is brilliant." the reporter was happy about the footage he was getting.
"This calls for a duel." Misty pulled out an AK-47 from her shorts. Ash took out a sling shot.
"Hey...this is getting a little too brilliant." the reporter realized.
Misty fired the gun at Ash, hitting him directly in the heart. He fell to the ground dead. The reporter and the camera man gasped.
"Now i'm gonna blow you all away." Misty pointed the gun at them.
"Run!" the camera man yelled and the two ran out of the studio. When they were out of sight, all the actors got up, including Brock and Ash.
"It worked." Brock pulled the poker out of his stomach, which never really went through his body.
"I knew it would." Misty put away her fake gun.
"We really hate behind the scenes crew members don't we?" Ash asked them.
"Yeah, now lets get back to rehearsal." Pikachu ordered, clapping his hands twice.
Good Day Mate
(I must first warn you that this is a parody of one of my other stories, called 'Good Riddance' and if you read this first, it will probably spoil the other story. I suggest you turn back and read that one first. but if you dont want to, it's your loss, jerk! And if you do decide to read it, just know that I wrote it along time ago so the grammar sucks and I'm sure I could revise it to make it much more effective. Perhaps I'll do that one day. In the mean time here we are)
Ash lied on his back in his bed, crying. He used his shirt to wipe his face clean of tears and looked to the door of his room, directly in front of the end of his bed.. It was wide open. It lead out to an empty and quiet hall way.
Misty appeared at the entrance of the room a few minutes later. She looked into the room, and saw Ash weeping on the bed. It brought tears to her eyes as well.
"Why did he have to go, Misty? Why?" Ash asked. She walked into the room and joined him on the bed.
"I don't know Ash. I've been asking my self the same thing since it happened." she replied.
"Do you think it's because he was too stupid?" he looked deep into her eyes.
"Well...if he died from the knife game, yeah, that is the reason." she told him.
"It's not fair. He practiced and practiced at that game. Then he has one bad day and gets him self in the heart. It's really unfortunate." he looked at his hands and covered his eyes.
"And it sucks to lose such a great person to such a dumb game." Misty wiped her eye.
"It's not a dumb game!" Ash got off the bed.
"Uh..." Misty was surprised by his anger.
"Take it back!" he yelled.
"No. it's stupid." she crossed her arms and closed her eyes in disgust.
"Take it back!" Ash poked her right arm.
"No!" she yelled back.
"What's going on in here?" Delia entered the room.
"Misty said the knife game was dumb, mommy." he tattled on his friend.
"Ash is too dumb to realize how dumb a thing the knife game is." Misty told Mrs. Ketchum.
"It is not." Ash ran out of the room crying.
"I know. But it was the whole world to him...besides pokemon training...and something else..." she said, looking down at the carpet.
"Something else?" Misty asked.
A tear fell from Delia's eye to the floor. "Yes, i think you should know something that Ash will never be able to tell you. He's just too stubborn and i can't stand the thought of you never being able to know." she took a seat next to Misty.
Ash was downstairs, crying into a pillow. "Why does Misty always have to tease me?" he sighed. "I'll show her. I'm gonna get back at her, by sticking gum to the bottom of her shoes." he laughed evilly and walked into the kitchen to get some winter fresh extra gum.
Back in Ash's room, Delia has just told Misty something very important. "Really?" Misty was surprised "I had no idea."
"I thought you should know. His love was deep." Delia wiped away some more tears.
"I don't know what to say."
"I understand it must be quite shocking." Delia walked out of the room.
Misty went from stunned to angry. She slammed the door shut and began trashing the room. She started first by emptying the trash can. Several crumpled up pieces of paper fell out. She opened them up and read gists of each, and stuffed them into her pockets.
Then she tore off the blankets and sheets off the bed. She knocked over the lamp and several more items in the room. Then she jumped out the window and took off running. She ran hard and fast. 'I wasn't sure where i was going. But i was run-ning.' Misty narrated the situation in her head.
'I ran out of town. And when i got out of town, i ran deep into the forest, and when i was deep in the forest, i ran to a river. And then i stopped.' she sat down by the river and gazed at the water fall down stream.
"This is where i first met Ash." she told he self. Behind her she heard some rustling and was startled.
"Misty." Ash jumped out of the bushes. "Boo"
Misty screamed "Ahh!"
"Ha ha. I knew i'd get you with my mask from the episode 'tower of terror." he laughed heavily. "Hey did you know they turned this into a poke'mon called Duskull?"
"What are you doing here?" Misty asked him, upset.
"I wanted to see you." he said, taking a seat next to her. And then he took off his mask.
"How did you get here so fast?" Misty asked.
"I didn't. You got here slowly." he said.
"Oh yeah, i was having trouble running because there was gum on the bottom of my shoes." she realized. Ash giggled quietly. "Though im mad at you, i might be able to forgive you." Misty told him.
"What are you talking about?" Ash was puzzled.
"You know damn well what I'm talking about." Misty glared into his eyes.
"Not really." Ash scratched his head.
"There's no time to explain. It's time to go to the funeral." Misty reminded him.
Ash looked at his watch. "Right." he nodded and the two walked back into town and to the grave yard.
The two had arrived at the cemetery, walking slowly to the grave site of the deceased person. "It's gonna be really awkward." Misty said and pulled out a blue diary from her back pack.
"Yeah it is. But it's all your fault." Ash put his hands behind his head.
"No. it's all your fault." Misty pointed at him.
"Misty!" Brock called her name. He was down the sidewalk waiting for her. "Hurry up it's starting."
"Ok!" she called back.
"Not without me." Ash reminded her.
"I know." she sighed and went to the site.
They all sat there in front of the grave. There were many many people, May, Max, the Oaks, Dawn, Brock, Iris and all of Ash's poke'mon.
Ahead of them was the tomb stone of 'Ash Ketchum.' A tear escaped Misty's eye. "Why did you do it, Misty?" Ash, who was sitting next to her asked.
She looked at him, and flashbacks played in her mind...
-A month earlier she was visiting Ash, and after getting reunited, the two were up in his room talking. "Ash, there's something i wanted to tell you."
"What up, Mist?" he smiled.
"I am in love with you. Have been for years. And you need to know how i feel." she finally admitted.
"Oh." Ash was speechless.
"How do you feel?" she asked.
"Well, Mist, i have something to tell you too. I am in love as well." he started.
She smiled.
"But with someone else." her glowing smile melted away "I'm in love with Dawn."
This angered Misty. She had done so much for Ash and been in love with him for so long. Her attempt to kill Dawn didn't work. So she decided to take her anger out on someone else...Ash. She stabbed him several times with a knife and placed him at the kitchen table, framing him for suicide.
"How bout those apples." she said, bitter.
Delia did not know that Ash told her about his love for Dawn, so she told Misty after his death, causing Misty to remember what she did and the anger she felt. So she destroyed Ash's room.-
Back in the present, Ash was no longer sitting next to Misty, as the memory her mind created to make her guilty wore away.
Later when everyone had left the grave, Misty was the only one left. She kneeled down and and took out the crumpled papers from her pockets and opened them up. They were love letters to Dawn. She tore them up and sprinkled them on his grave.
"Good day mate." she stands up. "And i mean that in a 'screw you' way." she turned and walked away...
Professor Oak stares at us with a look of shock, his jaw hanging wide open. "What the hell was that?" he asks. "Very creepy indeed. Anyways, thanks for reading the first chapter of 'Poke'Scenes.' Make sure to support the series to the end. There's plenty more stories ahead. Don't miss them. Hopefully next time there's actual decent quality to entertain you." he waves good bye to us.
"Oh Sammy, i'm waiting." Delia calls from the bathroom.
"Coming!" he runs out of the scene and down the hall.
I hope you enjoyed chapter one, and i hope you enjoy the chapters to come too. I promise there will be better stories ahead. Promise! I don't mean to sound desperate but it's true. In fact if you skip to chapter 6 or 7 right now you'll see what I mean. The quality and writing has gone a along way. Try it for realz. I'm not desperate! I'm not! Stop judging meeee!