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Chapter 1: Cue the Ball
The projectile shot like a bullet towards its goal, rocketing off walls and any obstacle in its path. When it reached its target, it set off a new reaction that would make or break the round. Its job done, it slowed down until it once again rested peacefully.
The audience watched with bated breath. Would the goal be reached? The current moving object was close, very close, but could it make it? There the object teetered, rocking back and forth, until with a Thud! the ball dropped into the hole.
"Yes!" Harry Potter cheered, a grin stretching across his face. He had finally done it! All summer he had been trapped, with nothing to to. Until he found the table. Yes, he, Harry James Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived himself, was playing pool.
Not with anyone, of course, but by himself. Everyone in the neighborhood hated him. The Dursleys had filled their minds with rubbish about him being a delinquent, or something like that. Harry could never keep it straight. Sometimes he was a delinquent, others he was a shy boy who kept to himself. Whatever made the Dursleys look good to the public. Stupid Muggles.
But this summer was better then the rest. He had something to do, something to take his mind off all the angst going on. Dudley had wanted a pool table, so of course, he got one. The minute little ("yeah right," Harry scoffed. "More like a little humpback whale.") Dudders saw it, he lumbered over to it, tripped over a piece of wrapping in the way, and landed with a crash on top of it. And thus ended the pool table.
It was actually only sans legs after baby humpback fell on it. But having a pool table without legs wasn't normal. After all, no one else had one without legs. The poor pool table went into the spare room and was promptly forgotten about. It still had its wrapping on and everything.
When Harry came home he saw a nice, although extremely dusty, pool table. As a matter of fact, everything in his room was extremely dusty. He decided it was Nargles.
So the almighty defeater of Voldemort, who was at the time classified as crazy to the wizarding world at large, wait. Was it crazy? Or was he a hero again? Harry had forgotten. The sheep cough*wizards*cough changed their opinion of him faster then Dudley could eat a slice of chocolate cake. And yes, that is very, very fast. It could be compared to around mock 7.
Well anyways, Harry was playing pool. He wasn't very good at it, although that could be explained because he had no idea what he was doing. The Dursleys has thrown out the packaging, in a inconspicuous manner of course, so no-one knew they had a faulty pool table, along with the instructions.
Faced by a need to be creative, Harry invented his own way to play pool. After all, it couldn't be that confusing. The word pool reminded him of the thing filled with water that Hermione had in her backyard. There was no water in this though. He decided that this pool table was broken, which did make sense, because it had been abandoned.
"Water," Harry mused. "Water is wet. Wet is water. When something is dropped into water, it makes a plonk sound. Therefore, I must have to drop the balls on the table!"
And that led him to his current state of excitement. Try as he might, he was not able to make the balls roll into the slots. So he finally pushed the balls together in a heap and dropped a ball on them. Sure, some went flying off the table and left a dent in the wall, but water splashes too. It's okay that the Dursleys yelled at him for making thumping sounds. They seemed really suspicious. Harry wondered what they thought he was doing. Speaking of that, they also got really angry when he yelled at the pool table.
Harry wrote it off as strange Dursleyish behavior. Nothing matters anymore! He finally got one of the balls into one of the little slots! He had won!
In his somewhat weird victory dance that involved making hooting sounds and flinging his arms all over the place, Harry knocked one of the balls off the table. He must have really whacked the thing too. It went flying across the room and out the window, which was closed at the time. Glass and the small round projectile made a sweep to the ground, and hit a conveniently located Death Eater. Harry cheered.
Then what had happened caught up to him. "Death Eater!" Harry panicked, then became aware of the strange things happening below his window. The Death Eater who had been hit by the pool ball had also somehow gotten glass from the window in his eyes. He was bumbling around blindly, hitting invisible objects with his arms.
Harry was slightly confused about the path the Death Eater's arms were taking. Until one of the invisible stopping points became visible as a invisibility cloak slid of a different Death Eater. Harry idly wondered if they were having some sort of convention. Weird place to meet though.
Then a high squeaky voice cut through the panic below. "You fools!" roared the voice. "We are here to kill Potter! Hide yourself Yaxely. Macnair, deal with it. It's just some glass!"
Harry squeaked. It was Voldemort! Then he remembered himself and tried again. It was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
Harry yelled out, "You-Know-Who, your plans will be foiled! Dumbledore will come soon!"
He received a reply, "Who are you talking to?"
"You!" Harry said. "Who else?'
"But you said You-Know-Who! I don't know who! It could be anyone here. Be more specific Potter."
"No, You-Know-Who is you. Like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."
Voldemort said, "Of course you would call You-Know-Who You. Society uses first names. Strange name he's got though. Who must not be named?"
"You are He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! Don't you know this?"
"But if You is You-No-Who how can he also be He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Is He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named a middle name or something?"
"No," Harry sighed. "You, Lord Voldemort, are You-Know-Who and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I can't believe you haven't heard this!"
"Who came up with this!" yelled Voldemort. "I must kill them. They gave me a stupid name. I mean really, who would be afraid of a guy named You-Know-Who. 'Did you hear about You-Know-Who?''No, who?'"
"We need to get back on topic," Harry decided. "Where was I... Dumbledore will come and crush you!"
"He will never! That foolish old man knows nothing! You're all alone boy! Hee hee hee! Wait. That was more of an evil giggle than an evil laugh. How about Mwa ha ha!"
"Oh no!" Harry quailed in fear. "That was a horrifying evil laugh. Maybe a bit high pitched, but still scary."
"Thank you," said Voldemort. He then got back to working on his laugh.
"What ever shall I do?" thought Harry. "All I have is these pool balls... I know! I will throw them! Maybe more people will be hit on the head!"
Below was heard "Mwa ha ha! No, how about Bwa ha ha! Better. How about more accent on the second Ha."
Harry took up the first ball and got ready to throw. It had a number three on it. "Cool," he thought. "Third time's a charm!" He leveled his arm and got ready to throw.
The ball flew in a graceful arc, at an exact line to its target. Fine, who am I kidding. Harry just succeed in making the ball clear the windowsill. He was a Seeker after all, not a Chaser. It did hit its target though.
That's right, the ball hit Voldemort. Not in his head, or between his legs. (Harry was briefly disappointed. There went his chance to win Funniest Home Videos.) The ball went right at Voldemort's open mouth, where he was in the middle of a particularly loud Ha! The number three pool ball went into the Dark Lord's mouth, and he started to choke.
Harry thought the look on Voldemort's face was priceless. He had the classic choking face, bug eyes, gagging, he even was stumbling around with his hands crossed over his throat in the universal choking gesture. He was motioning for his Death Eaters to help him.
One of the Death Eaters, Harry believed it was Carrow, shrugged helplessly. "Sorry My Lord, there's nothing we can do. I think the stupid Muggles have something called the hindlick, but that's a Muggle thing. We hate Muggles."
All the other Death Eaters nodded, adding words of agreement. When Voldemort finally fell over, one of them announced "Wow, look at the time. Three o'clock already. I must be getting home." There were no arguments, and soon the lawn below Harry's window was deserted, except for a still twitching body.
Harry watched the body below for hours after it stopped moving, still worried it was some sort of trick. After he threw another pool ball out the window and it bounced off Voldemort's head without even a twitch, Harry decided to go down and look.
He walked through his house, past the Dursleys who were dead on the floor. This confused Harry, because he thought the Death Eaters hadn't the time to enter his house. He made a note to look into it.
As he stood over Voldemort's body, watching for any signs of life, he noted that the body was rigid. He decided to touch it. Yep, it was cold. He kicked Voldemort in the stomach. You-Know-Who still didn't move.
So Harry decided on the ultimate test. He reared back his leg, and let one fly right between Voldemort's legs. "Strange," he thought. "There was no resistance." He tried one more time to make sure he wasn't delusional. Still nothing.
Overcome by curiosity, Harry had to look. What he saw confirmed many suspicions he had had over the years. "Yep, there's nothing there."
Chapter End
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The next chapter is going to be called A Butterfly's Wings. Can anyone guess what it will be about?
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