Dragon Age: A Seer's choice

by Arei-The Peridot Dragon

Join Darren 'Amell' on his journey during the blight. Facing Love, loss, friendship, betrayal and madness in his quest to save Thedas. How will the events we know change with a Seer with a hidden history at the helm? Pairing 'Amell'/Morrigan. Edits up to the latest chapter are done!

1. Prologue

Dragon Age: A Seer's choice.

Edit as of 04/13/2015 to help make the intro more streamline. I've gotten a few PM messages that the prologue jumps back and forth a little and is hard to follow. Hope this works better.

More edits as of 09/2016

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Prologue: A Parents Hope.

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My name is Darren Amell. I write this now as a personal accounting of the Fifth Blight and my own life's History.

The first thing to start with is this; Darren Amell is not the name I was born with. In an effort to protect both my family and myself, I was gifted with the name of 'Amell' by a young Seeress mage just before she took her own life to avoid a far worse death.

Actually, I will cover more on that later. I realize that I should start at the real beginning and that is not with me...

It really begins with my mother. My mother was one of the few known to be a True Seer. She had started Seeing visions of the future at a very young age. Young enough that her parents, my grandparents, took her to the Chantry immediately to see if there were any other signs that she might be a mage in truth and not just a Seeress. She had been cloistered for a number of years within the Chantry itself before they confirmed that she was not a mage. She was then able to go back to her normal life around the time she turned fourteen.

Good for her on that, I'm glad that she was allowed to return home. You must understand that Seers are a rare breed in Thedas and that most Seers that exist are also Mages. The ability to See is a subset of magic that tends to run in bloodlines with strong magical ties and it is a very rare thing indeed for a Seer to not also be a Mage. Due to the lack of any other magic based gift, Mother was able to return her family without any problem and was only asked to pass on any extensive Visions to her fellow nobles and the local Chantry.

Yes, I said 'fellow nobles'. Mother was a lesser noble at court, the daughter of a well-off merchant family that had been around for a number of years.

Next, I will speak about my Father. You see, when my Mother was young she had Seen who her husband could be or I should say that she had Seen several potential suitors that might suit her. She had actually decided on who she had liked the most early on. Because of her choice, she had turned aside all other potential suitors as they came and focused instead on 'The One' that she felt was her ideal husband.

The man she had Seen and chosen based on her visions was a stubborn man, tall and brave. A man who had done much for Fereldan during the Occupation of Orlais and was respected by many. He was not the type to wish a marriage however, especially not to what he considered females of Nobility to be; 'typical noble, air-headed women that were focused on jewels, dresses and titles' more than the realities of life around them. 'Frilly' or 'soft' was not a way to describe my Father, war-hardened as he was.

So my Mother dogged him in the best possible way to win his heart in truth; by being his friend first and foremost. That was what he needed in a mate really; a friend, a companion. Someone to keep him on his toes both physically and verbally. A woman who knew not only how to act in polite society to help him navigate the oft treacherous waters that was the political arena, but also a partner who knew how to fight, how to argue, how to stand on her own two feet. Oh, Mother hardly ever had Need to fight in truth, given that the war was over, but she always kept practicing with her blades even as she remained in a dress on most days. Hell she had known how to fight, and fight well, whilst wearing a dress. Which is impressive when you think about it.

She admitted to my Father from the start that she was a Seer, though he had scoffed openly at what he had believed to be nonsense. 'Useless mysticism' he had called it. Most of the things that she 'Saw' and advised him about merely seemed to him to be issuses that only needed simple common sense to see the truth of. Things like, 'You need railings on that bridge dear or someone will fall in the river' or 'I'd look closely into that servant's background dear, we don't need a Bard in the household'. To him there was nothing mystical about her 'observations' but he listened to her words and in most cases took her vision laden 'advice' to heart. Eventually, after saving his life from something that could only have been halted by someone actually having foreseen the event, he began to believe in her abilities and started to heed her words as more 'this needs to be done' then as 'a wisely thought out suggestion that I will consider'.

The only warning that Father did not initially heed at first was about me. A warning that, in the end, he had no choice but to believe...

My parents had married in the Spring and afterwards Mother had advised Father that she would have me that upcoming Winter. He was pleased at the thought of child so soon, a son to carry on the family name at that, and he had also been amused that she was so very certain that they would have a child so soon into their marriage. She had warned him at the same time that it would be best to raise me in secret, letting everyone believe that I had not survived the birthing.

He'd been shocked of course. Why would she advise such a thing? Should they not rejoice?

But she was firm and had told him that, in her vision, she had Seen that by the time I turned four that I would have my first vision. Then at age six, I would show a definitive sign of magic in an action that, while needed, would reveal to everyone that I was a mage. From there the vision diverged into one clear path that ended in death and one path that was hazy with several choices laid out before us. One of the paths that she had Seen showed the consequences of them keeping me. That choice would have led to not only the ruin of our family, but would have endangered everyone living in Fereldan if not Thedas itself. The second path showed that only by hiding me behind a layer of careful lies would our family, our country, our very world, have a chance of surviving the darkness that was to come.

Father had not believed in Mother's vision at first of course. From what Mother had told me, they had often argued about it... more that Father had railed and roared mightily about it when they were alone with no one, not even a single servant, around to hear his upset. When I was born with dark blue eyes that turned a pale blue within days of being born and a shock of red hair that I had inherited from my Grandfather on Mother's side of the family, he began to hesitantly believe her vision. She had of course Seen my coloring.

Father was understandably upset. His son, his Heir, his first born, could very well be a Mage or a Seer at the very least. He still had not wanted to believe in her vision, he argued that it was a horrible burden to put on an unborn child, that their child would supposedly be the key to saving... well, everyone... It took a bit of time for her to convince him, but in the end 'Duty' was not just a simple word to sling about for either of my parents and enough of my Mother's visions had come true over the years that he realized that he could not just ignore this warning.

And so, carefully, they raised me in secret. My Father continued to hope that they could pretend that I had been too sickly upon birth for them to announce my birth as I might be lost at any time and that they wished to wait until they could be sure of my survival. It has been known to happen before amongst the nobility, so there was precedent for him to use such an excuse. He had hoped... and yet at age four I indeed had my first vision.

I told my parents about it promptly, just as Mother had asked me to.

I still remember that first vision in perfect detail, as I do all of my visions. I had Seen myself being taken to the Fereldan Circle Tower with a young girl of around twelve. I learned from that vision that we were both of us mages and that unlike the love that I had been provided even as I was hidden in plain sight, her mother had hated her for her magic. No, 'hate' was too mild a word. Her mother had Loathed and Cursed her for having magic. Oddly enough, I'd also Seen was that this girl was also a Seer like I was. I learned through the vision that she had Seen, or I should say, she would See, her death in the Circle we were being sent to.

At any rate, she would end up telling me in hushed whispers one night on our journey about a demon taking over the Circle that we were going to be sent to. She knew not when, nor even how, the demon would be loosed upon those within, only that the demon would end up killing and torturing almost all of those there. She did not know how many might survive the demon's wrath, but she knew without a doubt that she would be one of the first slain.

That she Saw, would See, her death meant that she had decided, or would decide, that she did not want to live her life in a cage, nor did she wish to face length torture at the demon's hands. She knew that I would somehow be safe when this event happened and that I would not be one of the victims of the demon. She told me, would tell me, that she Saw great things, not necessarily all good, for me and that I would need to hide behind another families name to protect my own loved ones. She then gifted me, would gift me, with her families name; Amell.

Visions about the future can get confusing when you start thinking about present versus past tense... even writing out that part was a bit mind numbing... thank you for bearing with me as I tell my story.

To continue; the vision shifted after that, jumping by either days or hours or minutes, I'm honestly not sure how long the trip would prove to be or which Circle we were heading towards. Somehow she would successfully attack the Templars that with us, without using magic, and in the end they were, would be, forced to kill her in self-defense. She would then thank them as she died for their kindness in ending her life and the vision had ended as I watched the Templar's faces fill with shock and horror.

As I said, I shared the vision with my parents right after I had it. Not only had I promised Mother, but it was a highly upsetting vision for a child my age. Father had fretted for hours over the vision. The part of him that had held out hope that I would not show signs of magic and that he would yet be able to reveal who and what I was to him with the excuse that I had been 'very ill' withered a little at a time. Father had still been quite devastated by what happened shortly after I turned six summers old.

To explain, the event that had revealed my magic and quite publicly at that occured thusly; I'd Seen that a poisonous snake had been placed in our home, all in the hopes of killing father. The blasted thing would be successful in attacking him, though none of the other guests would be slain before the snake was put down. Really though, now that I think upon it, placing a snake in the middle of a large party is a good way to get a lot of innocent people killed. At any rate, I had rushed to his side as soon as I had the vision, as it was one of the more 'this will happen very, very soon' kind of visions. I had darted past and through the crowded ballroom, upsetting more than a few guests in the process.

I had called out to him as I ran, a shout of 'm'lord!' and not 'Father!' for I knew the danger of calling attention to our blood relation even at such a young age. I then instinctually sent out a bolt of lightning to kill the snake that had been just about to strike his un-armored leg.

After That the nobles had to be calmed swiftly as many of the guests feared that I had actually been trying to kill Father. Mother's kind but firm tones, Father's angry baritone and the voice of one the other nobles that was simply known to me then as 'Teyrn' filled the large room and calmed those gathered. They showed off the burnt and crisped body of the poisonous snake that had been about to strike my Father and the tide of the crowd changed immediately in my favor as the three played up my obvious bravery.

Humor abounded when the 'Teyrn' abruptly named me 'Young Ser Mage' and thanked me for my quick thinking in saving a Noble Lord. Gruff but grim humor filled the room and caused several people to laugh. I found that I liked the Teryn, he was much like my father with his dry humor. He had figured me for the child of a servant and my Mother was careful to say a few things that made it sound like I was an orphan that they had taken in when they had lost of one of their servant girls to childbirth. She never said the words outright, but I could see the conclusion in everyone's eyes.

I knew enough then not to be upset, it was a game that we had practiced before time and time again, but I must be honest and say that her words still hurt me and cut me deep. Only Father's hand landing upon my head and a soft word of thanks was enough to still my tears before they could fall. Even though he called me 'boy' and not 'son' as he thanked me, I knew that he was proud of my bravery and I could see it writ clear in his eyes. It was enough for me. I was loved.

In those last days together at our home, he did not blame nor rage at me or Mother. He was merely saddened that he would truly have to send me away. He was upset that he would be forced to avoid acknowledging me as he had hoped to. He would have to continue to treat me as an orphaned child of a servant, to prevent me from being harmed or used against our family for power, to keep our country safe from the danger that threatened us. He hated it, oh how he hated it and I do not fault him for that anger. A part of me still hates that this choice was needed even though I understood both then and now how important it was that I be where I needed to be when I needed to be there. A part of me would enjoy being able to confirm those silly stories that the minstrels are currently spreading; that my parents had tried to keep me secret from the Chantry or had died from some noble 'event' and thus THAT's why I ended up in the Circle that became my home for a number of years. The truth is nothing quite so grandiose as to require the 'noble death' of my parents, or perhaps I speak too soon. Knowing one of my Blight-companions, she would likely spin some epic yarn if she ever got a hold of this book...

At any rate, days later I had another vision and, with a child's hope that I could somehow cheer him up, I told him not to worry. I told him that my sister would not be a mage and she would make him proud, just as I would try to do.

He broke down and admitted then to both me and Mother, that had he not been needed by our country, that if he had any less of a sense of Duty than what he did... he would have packed up our family and run for the hills never to be seen again. He told me that the only thing that prevented this action was his creed; 'A man knows his duty and does not shirk from it'. He told me that I should take those words to heart.

I promised him that I would take not only his words, but the words of Andraste to heart; That Magic exists to serve man and never to rule over him.

To me, child as I was then and man that I am now, those words are philosophical and not to be taken literally. They are words meant to warn a person against letting their power and pride go to their heads. To warn mage and non-mage alike to not become tyrants that use their power for evil and foul deeds. Other words, powerful words, came to my mind then and they echoed in my head like that of a vision. I knew immediately that others followed those words and perhaps were being told those words even as I spoke them to my Father in my childish attempts to reassure him and cheer him up.

I told my father this; 'I will serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base. Power, regardless of whether it was the power of a mage, the power of a Lord or even that of a King, should not be abused. I will make you proud to call me your son, Father. Even if it is merely through my actions and my deeds and even if you can never acknowledge me to the public eye. I will make you proud to know me.'

Father had been, in a word, surprised with my little speech. I was six and still spoke as any other politely raised child did, but my words. He told me that my words were the words of a man and that even then he was so very, very proud of me.

Father pulled both me and Mother into a hug then and I realized as he held us tight that he was actually crying. It was the only time in my life that I had ever known him to cry. He was our Rock, our Strength, he had never cried before, at least not where I could see. I did not want to go, though I knew in my heart I would have to. The templars had already been sent for and it was far too late to do anything but go to the Circle and make my way from there.

The Templars arrived only a few days later, a young girl of twelve summers already in tow. I knew her immediately for the Amell girl in my vision and she knew me for the Boy Named Darren from her own. We barely said hello to each other and had immediately clasped our hands together, like old friends lost and once more found. We would not be separated for most of the journey.

I found out that her first name was Lana and we spoke softly of our visions, both hers and my own even as we spoke freely of our families. While we did not really need to speak of such things, as both of our visions had already given us much knowledge of the other, we still shared those items freely before we began to speak of more childish things. The Templar's with us were kindly, the elders' name being Greagoir and the younger man's was named Talon. They did not stop us from speaking and befriending each other. Greagoir actually seemed to encourage it, telling us that every child needed a friend especially when they were going to an unfamiliar place. It was comforting to know that these men were kindly in nature.

Lana told me softly that she hated that she would hurt Talon with her choice to die. He was new to the Order and she had said that he would end up transferring out of Fereldan and go to one of the Circle's in Orlais because his grief. What was to come would make him unable to remain within his home country.

I had asked her if what she planned was necessary? Did she really need to kill herself? She was uneasy, but she said that it was needed. Not only did she want to die free of demons, but Talon would be needed in the Circle at Orlais that he would be sent to. He would find peace there in the years to come. If he did not leave, then he would die if he stayed; accidental drowning. His help and kindness would be needed elsewhere and he would find his purpose once he moved past the pain of her death.

The Circle we were going to also needed this to happen she said. To forge his eventual replacement without her interference, a boy by the name of Cullen. I did not press her on what she had Seen, her eyes had grown sad and wistful at the thought of this boy named Cullen, much as Mother's had when she told me the secret of the vision she'd had of what would have happened had she convinced father to flee instead of stay. I decided then to share that same story with Lana to help her find peace with her choice.

To wit, Mother had told me just before I was taken by the Templars that our family could have forged a good, hidden life as farmers had Father taken us away. But we would have fallen, all of us, to a darkspawn raid shortly after I would have turned twenty-five summers. The first of many such raids and the beginning signs of a Blight that had the potential to overrun Thedas. She did not go into further details regarding the vision beyond that short synopsis. There was some nameless horror hidden behind her eyes at the thought of that particular path she had Seen and I knew it frightened her mightily. I never pressed her for the details and, knowing what I do now, I will say that there are some horrors that make death by torture seem a desirable end.

My mother had then told me that the path that she had set me upon led to life, if I was careful and mindful of my studies. I must be sure to study law, politics, fighting with a bladed staff, and most of all, war tactics. Out of all of the items on that list, only one stood out to me. I asked her, 'why a bladed staff?' She in turn asked me in a teasing tone 'what I would do if the enemy fought past the warriors and targeted the helpless mage who only knew how to fight with his magics at a distance?' I'd admitted with a laugh that a bladed staff would be a good idea when she put it like that as I did not want to be helpless if I was ever without my magic or if an enemy got close to me. I'd seen her spar with Father as he wielded his greatsword whilst she used her bow. Only her daggers had helped her when he managed to get close to her. They had been a fascinating pair to watch.

She'd suggested that I should have a strong metal core in the staff to stop the blades of any enemies I might fight. I'd joked with her then and told her that her wisdom was on par with the Prophetess. She'd laughed at my joking tone and had tickled me senseless before holding me tight for several long, long minutes in farewell. It was the last memory I had of my Mother and I have cherished it dearly through the years.

I shared all of that and more with Lana in order to make her smile and laugh. Even though she had been happy to see me, I do recall now that most of her smiles had been frayed at the edges and sometimes her laughter was strained and too high. Hearing the stories I was willing to share, she had smiled in truth and had agreed with my Mother's wisdom. Sorry had crossed her face and she softly whisper to me that she wished that her own Mother had been so kind and loving as my own. She did not tell me much of her own Mother beyond those words, but I knew it had to have been bad even before her magic had developed.

The very next night Lana thanked me for my kindness and for being the friend that she had needed at the end of her life. She drew a dagger that she'd somehow kept hidden and lunged at the Templar's when we camped down for the night and they were busy setting up the tents. She was unable to hit either with her first blows but she got their attention and put them on guard, which was what she had wanted. Greagoir kept his hands out and away from his sword as he tried to calm her, but Talon had drawn his own sword out of instinct due to the threat she presented. Lana looked to Greagoir sadly and gave him a weak smile.

"I cannot go there, to your home. Things are changing, I've Seen it. I will die in the method that I choose and not by the cruel hands of another," she told him with sorrow clear in her voice.

"We are here to protect you. We will keep you safe child," Greagoir said.

"You can't. I don't know exactly how it happens or when, but you cannot stop what will happen at the Circle. Be careful please!" she took a slow breath and smiled, this time serenely. "I choose my death. Darren!"

She turned slightly toward my direction all whilst keeping her gaze on the two men.

"Listen to me. You must stay hidden from your families' enemies. You cannot bare your families' name. Not now. Nor can you go around without a family to tie yourself to. You are an Amell now, I claim you as kin!" That announcement had made me start in surprise even at my age. You must understand, I knew she would let me use her name, not that she would claim me as Kin. This, among adults in Fereldan at the least, is akin to accepting someone into the bloodline with full Heir Rights, IE; if all other heirs die or if there are no immediate heirs to be found, the person claimed can inherit all that a true Heir would of someones holdings. You need at least two witnesses to the event and we had that in the two Templar's that stood before her. "Do not falter, sweet boy, you must keep true to the words you told your Father. The same words will guide the Hawk and these words may yet save Thedas itself in the end. Keep true to your promise!"

She lunged then at Greagoir without further warning and then turned at the last second to force herself onto Talon's drawn blade. He let out a choked cry as she forced the blade deep into her chest. Her last words were a harsh whisper that could somehow still be heard throughout the large clearing.

"Do not blame yourself for this. I am a coward. Do not..."

She slumped upon the blade and the life left her eyes with cold kind of finality. Greagoir thought it prudent to first search me for a weapon and then, finding none, he did his best to comfort both myself and the heavily upset Talon. Once Talon was calmed to an extent, the two Templar's worked to build a pyre. I found myself getting up and scrounging around for branches to help them, the largest I could manage to carry. The pyre we built was small in the end. I turned and scrounged around as best I could under Greagoir's watchful eye to find enough flowers to make a small wreath for Lana's Pyre. We stood vigil, all three of us, until the flames died down. Greagoir emptied out a small box that he had, the box itself filled with lyrium potions that he passed to Talon and he put some of her ashes within the small container and said a small blessing.

"I want to keep the box Ser," I said to him in a soft tone the very next morning.

"I would return these ashes to her family my boy," came the gentle reply.

"You heard her Ser, I am an Amell now. She claimed me as her Kin with her last wish," I shuffled my feet. "She told me... she said that her mum hated her, cursed her because of her magic. I don't think that she would want to have her ashes go back to her mum... 'cause I don't think tha' her mum would care 'bout 'em..."

Greagoir had looked at me thoughtfully for several long moments and then handed me the box with a small nod. He told me that I likely had the right of things and that it would be best to leave her remains with her 'chosen brother'. The look in his eyes, a careful and calculated look that reminded me of my Mother, made me realize that he knew that I was no servants' son. That he knew just who my parents were and the value of hiding me behind another's name. I stared at him, suddenly somewhat frightened and nervous at the realization. He smiled at my nervous look and patted my shoulder comfortingly.

"Don't worry my boy," he said softly. "Things will be fine Darren Amell, you will see. You're going home now is all."

I nodded at his words and he picked me up to carry me for the remainder of the long walk to the Circle. I kept the small box that held Lana's ashes held tightly to my chest. I know that I wished that my new 'Home' wasn't so far away from my parents. I know that I wished I could see them again soon and that I was studying hard. I wanted to share with them stories of my fellow students or maybe silly stories about the teachers I would have...

And while I knew that none of those wishes could come true, I knew that I would still make them both proud.

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Whelp... While I have two other stories going this one is jumping around through my head like crazy. I'm still working on the other two for Harry Potter and for Mass Effect if you would like to check them out.

Posting for my stories may end up being a little erratic, going through job interviews right now.

Still needing a Beta for my stories. If you are interested please PM me.

If you want any background for some of the things I want to try to do with this story please look at my Bio. This will be an 'Amell'/Morrigan fic. A lot of other things are up in the air right now on pairings. Input will be welcome and reviewed. :)

a/n as of 04/14/2015

Also, please let me know if this flows better for you :)