Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha, but if I did, Kagome and Sesshomaru would so be together. FYI, I do own this plot (unless someone did think of this before, then disregard this last sentence).

Title: Locked Chastity

Pairings: Sesshomaru & Kagome, maybe some Miroku & Sango and who knows who else

Summary: A chastity belt is stuck on one Kagome Higurashi, and the only way to get it off is the key, except it's gone. Everyone's favorite stoic Lord Sesshomaru has it, but he doesn't know it.

Alternate Summary: A traveling miko overhears and misinterprets Kagome's words, and she places a chastity belt on her with a spell. The problem is that she doesn't have the key; a specific Dog Demon Lord does.

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A/N #1: There is no definitive proof of when chastity belts were created. Some say as early as the 1400s, others not til the 1800s. Since this fic is merely for entertainment, I'm going to take liberty with that fact and just write a funny story (well, an attempt at a funny story).

This first chapter probably won't be too funny, because I do want to set up the story with a little background (not too detailed) here before the next chapter where the fun stuff really begins.

A/N #2: The chapters will be short, but not too short, and so will the story. I just wanted to do something to help with my somewhat writer's block on my other Sess/Kag stories and get the creative juices flowing.

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WARNING: This fic is NOT to be taken seriously in anyway, shape, or form. There characters will most likely be Ooc, but that's the point. This is only meant for my, and hopefully, your enjoyment and amusement.

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Chapter 1

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Early morning a little after dawn, Kaede was humming softly as she patiently waited for the water to warm up so she could make some tea for her guest. The elder miko had not seen her most-trusted friend in many years and was glad for the opportunity to catch up with her in relative quietness, since the group was not around to disrupt them. Now don't get her wrong, she did love them all as if they were her own, but they could be loud and annoying at times, and she deserved to have some quiet time in her old age.

Sitting serenely across the hearth was Kuri. She had met Kaede long ago when they both were in their teens and she was a traveling miko. There was a demon that had been terrorizing a few villages she happened across, and they had pleaded for her help to stop the menace before it destroyed more in its path. Being a miko, the young woman knew it was her duty to aide those in need and set forth to stop it. She had managed to get ahead of the creature, and as she circled in front of it in the forest, a bright-eyed youth dressed in miko garb appeared next to her to offer assistance. Kuri had no choice but to accept, because the demon came barreling at them and they began to fire many arrows at it. Eventually, the demon was brought down by working together; and a strong friendship had formed as result of it that lasted all these years, even with her continuous travel around Japan and the continent.

Now back in her homeland after fifteen years, the ever-roaming miko came to her old friend to tell her about her wondrous journey through Europe. It was a captivating trip traversing across riveting new land, seeing the different cultures, and meeting interesting people. And she couldn't wait to share this with Kaede and hear what she had missed these years away from her.

When the one-eyed woman finished preparing the tea and served it between them, they settled themselves comfortingly and each began their tales as the sun continued to rise in the clear sky. It was a pleasant conversation filled with smiles, laughter, anger, and tears of joy and sadness.

By late afternoon, their talk was interrupted with the loud commotion of the group returning. Since the Jewel of Four Souls was restored and the corrupt half-demon was no more, the diverse bunch went around the country volunteering their services to rid any demons that were causing destruction to the many villages. It seemed they had done just that as their voices carried over to the two women.

"You guys can't do anything without me!" Good ol' Inuyusha, always giving that shot of confidence to anyone who needs it.

"Excuse me! I can't believe you're still going on about that." Ah, Kagome, she can put him in his place. "You pig-headed jerk!" Or rile him up.

"What did you call me, wench!?!" He really shouldn't have called her that. "If it wasn't for me, that demon would've eaten all of you and that lousy village." Maybe sounding smug wasn't such a good choice.

"If it wasn't for you destroying the market place while fighting the stupid demon, we wouldn't have spent the last four days helping those people rebuild it." Twitching eyebrow meant if someone didn't shut up soon, he will be meeting the ground in a painful way.

"Well, maybe if you hadn't let him chase you in that direction, the freakin' market would still be there." Bad move, Inuyasha, real bad move.

"Inuyasha," came the sick sweetly voice of doom, "SIT! SIT! SIT!" Oh, how the mighty have fallen down, down, down.

Shaking their heads at their dirt-tasting friend, they calmly walked over his prone figure and entered the elder woman's hut, where proper introductions were made to the wide-eyed visiting miko who was fascinated by the force of the subjugation necklace. After all of them sat down, the younger individuals explained to the older females what had happened on their most recent trip of demon-slaying; where Kagome, Sango, and Miroku thought of a plan to lead the demon away, and Inuyasha misunderstood the situation since he had been fighting the creature's partner and wound up demolishing the market place.

Kuri listened to the story and added her own tales to share in the amusing atmosphere. Soon the laughter subsided as the half-dog demon barged in the hut with a look of begrudging regret (with a little lingering anger) towards Kagome. The traveling miko watched as the young woman forgave the male with an affectionate hug and a scratch to the ear. Curious at first of the easy forgiveness between the two, she figured they had to be in a relationship by their interaction. Not the least concerned that he was a half-demon, she felt happy for her fellow priestess for finding someone, because their line of work could be a lonely job, and to have a significant other to share your life's duty made it all the more satisfying. Feeling the need to bestow a gift on the young couple for future luck, she knew of a potion that she had learned from a sorceress on her European journey that would bring good fortune in every aspect of their relationship.

Too bad Kuri misread the strong friendship for something it wasn't.

An hour later, Kagome and Sango were heading out of the hut for a nice, relaxing bath after making sure a certain monk, with matching handprints on his cheeks, did not follow.

Soon after, the visiting miko also emerged from the small home to collect the ingredients she would need for the potion. Wandering further out into the forest since she could not seem to find a particular herb closer to the hut, Kuri happened to hear the voices of the two women who had gone to bathe. She didn't mean to eavesdrop on their conversation, however, she couldn't squash the urge to be nosy and snoop on them (which was a bad habit she could not get rid of).

With her age, she had a hard time hearing their words and decided to move closer. While she was trying to do so and remain silent, the elder miko missed a vital part of the discussion and began to hear it at the most inopportune moment.

"Sango, if he calls for me, I'm going to him."

Kuri could not believe what she was hearing. 'Kagome is betraying Inuyasha with another.'

"But you know what Inuyasha said, Kagome."

"I don't care what he said, because I will go to him whenever he needs me and Inuyasha can't do anything to stop me."

"Kagome..." The older woman didn't bother to listen to anymore of what they were saying and stomped away from the area. She was furious with both young women. Not only was one cheating on her partner, the other was hiding the secret that her friend was unfaithful and allowed her to continue her deceitful ways without telling anyone.

Blinded by anger, she swiftly gathered different herbs instead of the ones originally intended, because now she had something else in mind for the young miko. Rather than a potion, she was going to cast a spell that she had picked up as well from the sorceress. 'This will teach the girl a lesson about fidelity.'

Throwing the items in a small bowl of water, Kuri began to chant in another language as the liquid started to swirl up in a spiral out of the basin. When the chant ended, the mixed water splashed down in the dish and instantly turned into a mist that immediately went in the direction of the 'adulterous' woman.

A moment later, a shout of "AHH! WHAT IS THIS THING ON ME?" came from the forest.

Tidying up with a smile, she felt a sense of accomplishment in punishing the immoral girl. Once she was sure the miko did learn her lesson, she will remove it with the key which she had... right... here? Frantically looking around the ground, only one thought crossed her mind.

'Where did that key go?'

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Elsewhere in the land of Japan, a stoic dog demon was leaning against a tree as his two companions busied themselves in a field of flowers.

However, the Western Lord's rest was disturbed by something suddenly landing on his chest. Curious (and slightly annoyed), he picked up the object and found it to be a key. Noticing the design on it, he carelessly threw it on the ground and lost interest.

After all, why would a feared, full-blooded demon want a key that was shaped in a heart and had puckering lips on it?

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Well, what do you think? Should I go on with this? And I think it was short, since it was under 1500 words. So, that gives you an idea on the length of the chapters. Remember, this story is simply for amusement and nothing else, so don't go complaining about the characters being Ooc. It's a parody, not a drama.

Anyway, next chapter, you will find out what Kagome and Sango's conversation was really about (hopefully none of you'll be able to guess it. hehe). You'll also see Kagome's reaction on what she has on her. And you'll probably wondering how Sesshomaru will still have the key if he threw it away. You'll have to wait and see.

Please read and review! Also, let me know if the summary I have is all right, or should I use the alternate one. Also, there will NO lemons in this story. I think it would ruin it, and it's really not the point of the story. But don't worry, there will be lots of innuendo (I think).

DOTS

P.S. I know I haven't finished 'Entrap' or 'Transformations', but I will. I had lost my interest in Inuyasha fiction and Sess/Kag, but I'm starting to get back into it. I never wanted to be an author who didn't finish her stories, so I will get those done.