Seeing Anna

Rating: T

Word Count: 1310

A/N: So this was meant to be a small drabble about Elsa and Anna, but it kinda turned into a Elsa Character study. Kinda.

The first time Elsa remembered seeing Anna was two hours after her birth. She had been sitting on the couch outside of her parent's room, trying oh-so-hard not to make it snow in the hallway in anticipation. Her father had come out, his eyes sparkling, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he beamed, and had leant before her and kissed her forehead. 'You have a new baby sister Elsa.'

She remembered his voice being so soft, yet so full of mirth, and that she bounded into his arms, a small giggle escaping her lips as he carried her into the room. Her mother was lying there, a small bundle of pink wrapped up in her arms. Her father had placed her onto the bed and she had crawled up towards her mother, only to hesitate as she had no idea what to do with the tiny pink baby that was her sister. But her mother had ushered her next to her, and had placed her sister into her arms. She beamed and looked up at her mother, her eyes sparkling, her heart beating too fast.

Her mother brushed a stray piece of platnium hair out of Elsa's face. 'Meet Anna.'

The second time Elsa had seen Anna was when she was woken by an almighty screech coming from the direction of Anna's nursery. Without really knowing what she was doing, Elsa had flew out of bed and bolted to her sister, stopping only to open the nursery door. The room was dark and the only light was green glow from the lights outside. She had tiptoed to her sister's crib, climbed onto the couch nearby, and leant over the rails. Anna's face was screwed up, her mouth open wide as she screamed, and Elsa realised that she was way out of her depth. Leaning forward more, she held out her hand, and sent a twirl of snowflakes dancing in the air. Anna's eyes widened, and she held out her short, cubby arms, her hands grabbing wildly for the snow, her screaming forgotten. Elsa laughed as Anna let out a small shriek of a giggle. She sent out another twirl of snow, watching as they reflected the green light.

'Look, little baby,' she said, her voice making Anna's eyes fly to her. 'Sky's awake.'

A pair of arms wrapped around Elsa's torso, making her squeal. She turned to find her father, his eyes reflecting the green lights.

'I came to see what the problem was,' he laughed slightly. 'but it turns out there isn't one.'

Elsa laughed as he hugged her tighter. 'She's awake because the sky's awake, papa.'

Anna was one now, and they were sitting in the library, mother curled up on the arm chair in front of the fire, a book in her hands, father lounged out on the couch, his eyes closed, and Elsa and Anna sprawled out on the floor.

Elsa held Anna's hands. 'Can you say Mama Anna?' Her mother's eyes drew away from the book, to linger on her daughters, a smile crinkling her eyes. 'Come on Anna,' Elsa cooed. 'You can do it. Ma-Ma.' Anna hiccuped, and Elsa bent over giggling. 'Ok, then not so much.' She clapped Anna's hands together. 'What about Papa? Pa-Pa.' Anna blew a raspberry into the air. Elsa groaned and leant back, looking at her mother. Her mother smiled and closed the book, sitting down next to her daughters. 'What about your name Elsa?' She said, pulling her eldest daughter onto her lap.

'Elsa!'

Her mother froze, and Elsa stared at her sister, her eyes wide. She looked back at her mother. 'Did she just?'

Her mother laughed and hugged her. 'You're her first word, Elsa.'

Her strongest memory of Anna was nights spent in the ballroom. Of snow, and gleeful giggles. She remembers Olafs and warm hugs, and fun and magic.

She remembers 'catch me!', and ice and heads, and of blonde snaking through perfect red hair.

She remembers ice cold and rocks and trolls.

Memories disappearing, beauty and danger inlaid into her ice, her father's arms shielding her from her fear.

And she remembers doors, always closed, always shielding. She remembers 'conceal don't feel's, Anna's voice drifting through the closed door and small letters, chocolates inside, slide underneath the door, and 'I love you's and 'please come out's.

She remembers the emptiness of silence as Anna's voice stopped, and how the suffocating the silence was when news that her parents would never come back slid under her door, and how they sat back to back, with only wood and ice between them, and how they only had each other.

The first time Elsa had seen Anna is years was as she danced towards the open gates, her voice drifting up towards the balcony Elsa was standing on. A small smile slipped through her poised expression.

She hadn't really noticed Anna at the coronation, to be honest. Fear took hold, and nothing else mattered. But, when the gloves came off and ice began to creep along the gold, her eyes flickered to her sister's, and she almost cried when she saw only warmth, no hate, staring back at her.

She had laughed silently to herself when Anna had bounced next to her, as Kai announced them. She had gotten lost in the glee of her sister, and the times before closed doors came creeping back. But her eyes settled onto the blonde streak weaving it's way through her auburn locks, her palms tickled with ice, and she turned away, terrified for her sister.

Marriage had really been the last thing on her mind. So, when she saw Anna, for the forth time that day, clutched into a man's arm, she really didn't know what to think. She felt her gloves harden as ice crept out, and she swallowed hard, trying not to make her voice crack as she asked Anna to speak alone. Her blood cooled as she began to turn away, and breath failed her. Her glove was torn off, and her palm tingled with her ice. She could feel the ice breaking through her cracks, and she knew that she didn't have much time before she exploded. She watched in horror when she turned, ice spiking out of her palm; watched the spikes come dangerously close to Anna, heard the murmurs of 'witch' and 'sorcery'.

So she ran, hands clutched to her chest.

She ran, away from Anna, away from any harm she could do to her.

She had never really expected to see Anna again, but here she stood, her hand placed over her heart, her lips echoing a song. She had hardly notice when she joined in, hardly noticed when tears sparkled in the corners of her eyes. But she saw her reflection, saw the fool she was, felt the snowstorm hurricane around her, felt her heart hurt, as she realised that freedom was just a illusion to her. So close, yet so far.

She had turned, finding Anna hunched to the ground, her hand clutching her heart in pain.

So she sent her away, promising never to hurt her again.

Ice. When she saw Anna she was ice. Blue. Cold. Frozen. Ice. Gone.

Thawed. Living. Warm.

She gripped her tight, barely believing that she was breathing.

Blade and Hans forgotten as she held her sister's face, feeling the warmth, seeing the smile.

She felt her hand being squeezed.

'I love you.'