"I love yo—." and with that the phone clicked without Kurt even saying goodbye or I love you back. Was I doing something wrong? I know Kurt is busy with Vogue and his life in New York. I still miss him, though. Being here in Lima, it sucks. I moved to Lima to be with Kurt. I have to finish high school, or I would just pick up and move again. I would do it in a heartbeat.
Watching you do Blackbird this week that was a moment for me – about you. You move me, Kurt. And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you.
From the moment he did Blackbird, I was hooked. No matter what happens, Kurt was always on my mind.
"Hey! Pres!" I could hear Sam yelling as he rounded the corner. "Breadsticks today after Glee rehearsal. We have to start planning to do something awesome. If we don't start now, the year will just pass by and we'll end up like Brittany and just have a stupid prom."
Sam's energy caught me off guard, but he had a point. "Yeah, man. That sounds great." I patted him on the shoulder as I passed him and went on to my next class. I couldn't focus though, all I could think about was Kurt and how much I wished we could be together.
"Alright, Mr. President, let's grab a table and start talking about what we want to do," Sam slid into a booth and I sat down next to him. My mind was still in a fog. I didn't want to talk about student council stuff. I wanted to be lying next to Kurt, singing him Teenage Dream. None of this was what I wanted when I transferred from Dalton.
"Alright, what do you have in mind, Sam?" I let him talk so I could continue thinking. He rambled on. Something about a stripper theme at homecoming next month. I looked just barely past his face, so he couldn't tell I wasn't listening.
At that moment, something caught my eye. Bright blue eyes behind messy brown hair, belonging to a guy I had never seen around school before. Clean shaven, but a jawline that could definitely support a 5 o'clock shadow. He was in a suit, as if he were in a perpetual state of formality. He had none of the delicacy Kurt has.
"Yo, Orville Redenbacher, what are you staring at?" Sam waved his hand in front of my face and looked behind him and saw the guy I saw. "Since when are you into Puck type guys? I thought tiny like Kurt and that creepy rock salt slushie Warbler was more your type."
"What are you talking about? I'm not into him. I'm just tired and stared off into space." Which was half-true. I stared off, then stared at him. I continued to stare at him.
He smiled at me, and it wasn't a friendly smile. It was a smile of the devil. One that you knew you should hate but that just made you want to know more.
I couldn't get to know him though, I had Kurt.
"Dude, will you focus if you get his number or something? I mean, it's not cool since you're with Kurt, but at least you'll listen." It surprised me that Sam was so serious about this presidential thing. But then again, maybe it was the first thing that made people proud of him other than stripping.
I sat there and blankly nodded, as this guy continued to draw me in just by looking at me. I mean, making a friend that's not in Glee isn't illegal, right? We'll just be friends.
"YO! Chuck Bass!" the guy looked up immediately. He must be used to getting compared to the Gossip Girl character. As soon as he stood up, I could see it immediately. Every aspect of Chuck Bass. Gossip Girl was one of the shows that Kurt and I hate-watched on Skype.
"Can I help the two of you?" he was cool, calm, suave. I couldn't be attracted to him. I had Kurt. Kurt was the love of my life. Sam kicked me under the table to get me to speak.
"Yeah, uh, I'm Blaine. Anderson. Blaine Anderson," I cleared my throat. "And this is my friend Sam."
"Well it's nice to meet you Blaine Anderson," that devilish look came back. My heart raced in a way that it hadn't since my first kiss with Kurt. "My name is Eli, mind if I sit with you?" I couldn't even speak. I just shook my head to indicate that I didn't mind and Eli slid in next to me. I looked up at Sam apologetically.
"So what are you two talking about?" Eli inquired.
"Well, uhm," why couldn't I speak around this guy? "I'm student council president at the high school nearby. We were discussing stuff to do."
"Not much discussion," Sam muttered.
I couldn't take this. Eli's hand found his way on my leg. I was going to go insane. I was sitting here trying to control myself while he asked more questions about student council as if he didn't realize where his hand was. Sam and I actually managed to discuss a lot of what we wanted to do with Eli's suggestions and questions.
It was nice. Eli cared. Eli, in his own devilish way, was really nice. His hand just stayed on my thigh through all of dinner. It didn't move.
I was actually disappointed when we were finished. "Maybe we'll run into each other again," Eli said with a wink as his hand trailed off my leg and he headed out the door.
"Hey, dude, you realize you have a boyfriend, right?" I don't know how close Sam and Kurt were. They weren't best friends, but Sam could easily facebook Kurt. I really hoped he wouldn't say anything about tonight.
"I know. I love Kurt, more than anything. But he's in New York. I'm all alone. I have no one. Kurt won't listen to anything I have to say because he's so busy. Eli sat and actually discussed high school student council policies with us." I sighed. I wanted Kurt back. I wanted the old Kurt back. The one that cared about me. The one I left Dalton Academy for. Eli was a glimpse of that personality again.
"Just don't do anything you'll regret, okay?" I could tell Sam was uncomfortable so I changed the subject to Glee. That was always a topic I could talk about for hours with no issues.
I got home and sat on my bed. I pulled my phone out; I hadn't checked it during dinner at all. It hadn't buzzed in my pocket or anything. And just as I expected, not a single text from Kurt. I missed him so much. I knew he was busy, but it was almost 9. How long could he be out?
I booted up my MacBook and got on Facebook. I missed my Dalton Academy Warbler friends. I was so hooked to Kurt that I'm not close to anyone in Glee club. So now that Kurt's gone, my Warblers are all I have left, and I only talk to them on Facebook. I noticed I had a new message.
Hey sexy – Eli C.
My heart started racing. That had to be the same Eli I met tonight. I bit my lip. He thought I was sexy? Even though I could barely say hello to the guy? I messaged him back, trying to stay casual.
Well hey yourself, what are you up to?
Wondering when I can see you again.
Should I tell him that I have a boyfriend? That might push him away forever. But, if anything's going to happen, it has to be honest.
Haha, you should know I have a boyfriend. Sorry. :P
Is it the blonde that's obsessed with taking his shirt off as many times a school year as possible? Did I sense a bit of jealousy with this guy?
Nah, my guy lives in New York, he just moved for a job.
Well then, we have nothing to worry about. When can I see you again?
Somewhere you'd never see any high school students. I don't need to risk someone seeing me and telling Kurt. Woah. Did I just agree to pursue this? I didn't even think twice about it.
My place then. It's the penthouse of the apartment complex down the street from Breadsticks. Tomorrow. 8 pm.
Eli C. is offline.
I was going to another guy's house. Another gay guy's house. I know his intentions. I know why I'm going over there. Part of me hated hurting Kurt. Another part of me was just angry that I was so alone that I didn't care.
"Welcome," Eli met me in the lobby of the apartment building. I was still stunned at myself for making it through the day and making it here without having some sort of breakdown or freak out. I couldn't make eye contact with Sam though. Eli bit his lip and gave me that devilish smile. "Just so you know, it's a long ride, with 12 floors and the slowest elevator in the world."
The elevator door opened and I don't think the door could have closed fast enough for him. Before I knew it, Eli had pushed me up against the walls of the elevator and had his lips on mine. My heart was pounding. I kissed him back. I missed this feeling. The feeling of being wanted, of being kissed. I missed the feeling of utter desperation for one another.
Eli bit my lip and any and all thoughts of Kurt went out the window. Finally the elevator door opened to his penthouse and I didn't even get a chance to see what it looked like, only that the bedroom was to the immediate right.
I wanted this guy, I wanted him badly. My heart was racing. He wanted me just as desperately. I could tell by the way he untied my bowtie. He wasn't using common sense, he just wanted it off of me, so he just sort of tugged at it. I helped him out, and soon his jacket and shirt were off. My sweater vest and shirt were off quickly too.
Eli continued to kiss me and his hands traveled south. All of a sudden Kurt popped in my head. Making out with a guy was one thing. Could I let this go to the next level? But what would happen if I told Eli no?
"Blaine, stop thinking, just let it happen," Eli whispered in my ear. And once again, all thoughts of Kurt went out the window, and fell down the twelve stories of Eli's apartment building.
What's up, sexy?
You want to come over?
I stared at my phone as I sat in the choir room alone, thinking of what I did. The other night was incredible. I hadn't felt so invigorated by anything since my first kiss with Kurt. But that was the issue. Everything led to Kurt.
I smiled though. I was good enough, or something… Eli wanted to see me again. The sex was incredible. He was just the opposite of Kurt, in everything. Eli was very possessive. I noticed that at Breadsticks and I noticed it again when he and I went out for drinks after everything the other night. His hand was on my leg again, as if to let me and anyone else know that I was his.
I liked being wanted. I felt less alone.
Sure. I'll be over soon.
Right as I was about to leave, everyone came in the choir room for Glee rehearsal.
"Sorry, Mr. Schu, I have an appointment I have to get to, I can't be here today," I said as I walked out of the room. I knew it was too good to be true though, because Sam followed after me.
"Blaine! Please don't tell me you're going where I think you're going. Cheating isn't cool man."
"I have somewhere I need to go. I have something I need to do. Then I'm going to the airport, to head to New York. Be happy, you get to be president for a few days. Have as many stripper parties as you want," I smiled and left school for Eli's.
"I'm leaving town soon, Eli," I said after we were done. "I can't do this. I have to see my boyfriend. I have to let this end right. I can't cheat on him anymore. I have to see if he and I have a chance." I was nearing tears, playing through memories.
"If things don't work, can I be selfish and claim you as mine?" Eli bit my lip and pulled at the waistband of my boxers. I sat up, and started putting my clothes back on.
"We'll see. Thank you, though. I hadn't felt wanted, or that anyone even cared, in a long time. But if my boyfriend does still want me, I have to give that a chance. This was incredible though." I bit my lip and finished putting my clothes on, and left for the airport.
I had to see Kurt. I had to see if there was any way we can make this work. My heart was racing as I knocked on the door to his loft.