Disclaimer - I sadly do not own Naruto.

Enjoy!

Dear Diary,

The others continuously taunt me about my art. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

Tobi is frequently allowed to venture off on his own...and always seems more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Just the other day he thought it would be funny to sneak up on me and hit me in the face with a pillow.

Perhaps I should blow him up for good next time.

Well, I must be off. Hair like mine doesn't style itself.

Itachi, I hope you die. You too Sasuke.

Love,

Deidara

Listen up you piece of shit diary,

Today I killed four people. IT WAS A GOOD DAY.

But you know what I don't understand? Why everyone in this lousy organization hates me. I mean I'm an awesome dude.

Maybe they should get to know me, look past my rituals, and see I'm one hell of a guy.

Ugh. Gotta go. Fucking miser wants me to go do something for him. Fuck him.

Praise be to Jashin.

Later bitches. Hidan out.

PS. Fuck you too Leader. I hope you read this.

Dear worthless piece of parchment Pain actually wasted money on,

People I want to kill:

Kisame – His head would look nice on my wall.

Itachi – Must...resist...the urge...to kill.

Deidara – Needs to die soon. Will die soon. Probably of his own accord. *Note to self* - remember to fetch the body afterward.

Tobi – Suicidally annoying. No money to gain from his death. Will hopefully die anyway. Sooner rather than later would be nice.

Hidan – I will personally kill him myself. Immortal my ass.

Konan – Women. Too difficult to deal with. I'll let her live.

~Kakuzu

I've recently gained intel on the Hidden Leaf.

Apparently they "hangout" and do activities together. This is supposedly one of their tactics to stay on good terms. Evidently, it helps them to work together more efficiently. Must persuade Akatsuki members to "hangout" more often. I could even have them send letters of encouragement to each other so we look like a real team.

Oh the possibilities.

-Know Pain-

Hello again.

I wonder if any of them know I'm a lesbian.

Sincerely,

Konan

Apparently Pain wants us to record our feelings in this book...I'd rather not.

I wonder how Sasuke is doing. Perhaps I'll drop in on him soon. His hate should be coming along nicely by now.

In other matters, Hidan sleep walks naked.

Feeling mentally scarred,

Itachi