Regina paced in front of the diner checking her phone for messages over and over. It was 12:57 precisely and she had been waiting in the heat of early July for almost half an hour. She felt a nervousity rushing through her body and she couldn`t quite explain it. Why would she fear rejection when she shouldn`t have actually believed Emma would stick to her word in the first place. Gods be damned she shouldn`t have made plans with that idiot at all. Clenching her fists she tried to calm down and figure out what was bothering her so much about the whole situation. She had been let down and stood up before, this really shouldn`t matter. And it definitely shouldn`t hurt as much as it did. Having enough of mindlessly walking from side to side Regina finally sat down on one of the seats in front of the diner and found herself unlocking her phone just to read through Emma`s text from this morning yet again.

Morning Birthday Queen! Granny`s at 12:30?

Sighing Regina put her phone aside and stared at the entry door as if she expected for it to magically open. She didn`t quite understand why the diner would be closed in the middle of a Monday morning and no matter how hard she tried to push any dark thoughts away she couldn`t help but wonder whether this had something to do with the fact that it was her birthday. Maybe Granny had feared her celebrating here would scare some customers away. Regina knew for sure there were still some fearing her and there would probably always be a few who would see the eyes of the Evil Queen when they looked at her. But closing the whole place because of that still seemed rather drastic. Regina tried putting the thought aside and checked her phone again considering whether or not she should just call Emma to find out where the hell she was. But the more time passed the more Regina dreaded doing just that as with every minute the likeliness of being stood up increased. Deep down she knew exactly why she feared that rejection today more than usually. Regina seemed unable to fight the memory from coming back to her, a memory she had stored far away from her consicous for quite some time.

Early on her sixteenth birthday she had woken up just to find a small note her father had left on her bedside table during the night.

Smile sunshine, we`ll go see Firefly Hill tonight...

She had been beaming all day incredibly excited since she had always wanted to see the fireflies but Cora had never let her claming that such activity would be "without purpose" and "unnecessarily dangerous". Henry had never protested but Regina knew it was only because he feared Cora just as much she did or maybe even more. But that day it had seemed they would disobey her and the anticipation for adventure had filled her with such joy she had almost feared her heart might burst. Henry had told her to meet her at the castle`s apple tree at sundown and she had hurried there the minute she could escape from one of her mother`s talks about royal manners.
She had sat at the apple tree for hours waiting for her father to arrive. First she had been full of excitement then slowly of doubt and finally of realization that there was no way they would make it to Firefly Hill in time even if he were to show up. She had left the garden when the night had long begun and there was no trace of the sun left in the sky, black swallowing it all with only a few stars to be seen. That night she had cried alone in her chamber letting go of everything that had been building up over months of surpression and loneliness. She had wanted nothing more than just to be free for this one evening and she had known for sure her mother had been the reason she had been denied her wish once more. Still she hadn`t blamed her that night. It had felt more like a punishment for her own behaviour. For her stupid dreams.

"If only I wished to be a Queen as badly as my mother did" she had whispered into her pillow when she had run out of tears to cry and just lain in her bed her eyes burning but her mind wide awake. She had made up her mind that night and decided she would try harder, try her very best to be the girl she was supposed to be. When the sun had come up again she had hardly slept at all and felt the exhaustion everywhere. And still when her father had come in that morning, immediately apologizing for letting her down and explaining to her that Cora had kept him from going and had forced him to "teach her a lesson" by letting her wait out all night she had just smiled it off, nodding her understanding. She really did try after that but it seemed it could never be enough anyway.

"I should have gone to Firefly Hill myself" Regina thought now realizing it was stupid to let a little memory like this bother her so much. After all those years it shouldn`t be hurting anymore. But as Regina had come to realize on several occasions pain wasn`t limited to a certain amount of time or a certain amount of hurt. On the contrary all her life when she had felt like a prisoner in places she was supposed to call home her pain had been the one thing that seemed to have some kind of freedom. Noone stopping it from squeezing her heart so tight Rumplestilzchen himself couldn`t have done it any better. Regina closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath trying to steady herself again. This was enough. She was not about to let herself slide just because she had been foolish enough to trust someone again. Gracefully she rose from her seat and was just about to leave and head home when her phone vibrated. She briefly considered to ignore it as it was most likely to be Emma with some sort of excuse but curiosity got the better of her.

Don`t you wanna come in?

Regina stared at the screen in disbelief and read the message from Emma again. What in all the gods` names was this supposed to mean? Was it some kind of joke? Regina felt her sadness replaced by anger and she could barely keep herself from storming to the entry door of the diner. She stopped and took a calming breath before opening the door and her eyes widened when what she saw wasn`t anything she would have expected.

The diner was crowded, the lights were on, some sort of new age music was playing softly in the background and in the middle of a messy pile of chatting citizens was Emma smiling brightly when she spotted the brunette.

"Happy Birthday!" she exclaimed and walked closer Regina being too taken aback to react at all. One by one the other people in the room noticed her too and waved their greetings or raised their glasses to her and Granny herself even came up to Regina to congratulate her for her birthday saying "I guess you`ll be about the age I look like by now, prepare for back pains". Regina quickly thanked her for the rather unhelpful advice ending the conversation. She grabbed Emma by her leather jacket and pulled her over so she could hiss into her ear.

"Why on earth would you leave me waiting outside for an entire hour when you could have just opened THE DOOR?" she asked clearly unpleased and in disbelief she had let herself be so emotional when it could have clearly been avoided.

"What?"

Emma stared at her with such genuine confusion Regina almost felt bad for her harsh words. After a moment of awkward silence between the two, the party in the background still ongoing, Emma`s eyes widened in realization.

"Crap! Did I write 12:30?" She asked dreading the anwer.

Regina simply nodded.

"`Gina I meant 13:30, I am so so sorry." Emma said and Regina heard the honesty in Emma`s voice. She took a deep breath to steady herself and to sound less like a thin glass threatening to break at touch.

"It`s alright" she said, attempting to smile softly back at Emma, trying to reassure her it was okay a little too similar to the way she had looked at her father once on the morning after her birthday. Her smile didn`t quite reach her eyes. She truly wasn`t mad at Emma but exhausted and annoyed with herself for being so fragile. "So weak" she thought and for a moment she could almost hear Cora laughing at her. She didn`t want to be haunted anymore.

"No it`s not." Emma said ripping Regina from her thoughts and surprising her with the doubtless statement.

"It is not alright. I wanted to surprise you with a beautiful birthday party and I blew it."

Regina looked away for a second and then back at the blonde who was staring at her with a guilty puppy look that reminded her a lot of their son.

"I`m sorry" Emma said softly and reached for Regina`s arm gently resting her hand on it. And for some reason with that touch Regina suddenly felt all tension fall from her. She was surprised at her own reaction when she even made a sound that seemed close to a giggle. Of course she would think she had been let down when this idiot had actually organized her a surprise party which was clearly the most thoughtful thing anyone had done for her in years.

"Well you could have at least opened the curtains" she said failing to bring even a scent of authority back to her voice.

"But ... the surprise" Emma protested sheepishly and Regina laughed looking at the blonde`s ridiculous pout.

"Of course" she half groaned half laughed and Emma let out a little sigh of relief.

"So ... you won`t be mad at me forever or anything?" Emma asked smiling her most innocent smile.

Regina rolled her eyes but smiled as well when she recognized the song that was playing in the background.

"Yes Emma I will actually." she said enjoying the confused look on the blonde`s face. "Unless you will follow me to the dance floor right now"

Emma`s face had turned into one big question mark by now. She was just about to ramble something about there actually being no dance floor when she got interrupted by Regina shushing her and the other woman`s finger on her lips.

"Shut up now" she said and slowly removed her finger again. Before Emma could try to speak again Regina quickly leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the blonde`s lips that was over before the butterflies in Emma`s stomach had the slightest chance of settling down.

"Dance with me" Regina whispered and tucked Emma along to a free space somewhere in the diner promising herself that tonight she would not be haunted, tonight she would just decide to be free.