Oh, the Games We Play
Halloween in Old City, 2009:
When five year old Ashley had insisted that the group dress up as members of Mystery Inc., Kate had been less than pleased at being forced to dress up as Velma, whining that the outfit would do nothing for her figure, though Will and Henry had been more than willing to be Fred and Shaggy for fear that the child would insist upon one of them being Velma. "I don't have the knees for a mini-skirt," Henry had cracked lamely as he flashed a pleading look at Magnus.
John had been the least amused with his assigned costume. "Why do I have to be the dog?" he had grumbled as he tried to reason with his stubborn first born who had decided that she herself would be Daphne. "Why can't Will be the dog? Or Henry? He's born to play the part."
"You said you were a big dog," Ashley explained. "I heard you tell uncle Nikola that. Scooby Doo is a big dog. What's your problem, daddy? You're being silly," the child fussed back as she placed her hands on her hips and glared at him exactly the way her mother did when she was displeased with someone.
"That's not what I meant when I said I was a big dog in this small world," John argued back. "I meant… well, something else all together."
"Mommy, tell daddy he has to be Scooby!" Ashley commanded with a little stomp of her foot. "I can't be Daphne if there's no Scooby!"
Helen, who was suffering from a cold, along with her three month old baby, eyed the pouty pair with tired eyes from her reclining position on the bed. Father and daughter were wearing the same unhappy look with scrunched up mouths and staring at her expectantly waiting for her to tell the other no. Sighing, Helen gave a loud sniff as she reached for another tissue and said in a nasally tone, "It's just for a few hours. Be the dog, John. I would do it but I can barely crawl out of this bed."
At his, "But, Helen…," she scowled at him and narrowed her bleary eyes.
"Fine!" he grumbled as he shoulders drooped in defeat. "But I'm not going to be a happy about it."
"Ha! Ha! I win!" Ashley squealed in triumph and then quickly slapped her hands over her mouth as her sibling let out a big squall of protest at the loud noise.
Groaning, Helen flopped back hard onto the pillow. "I just got her to sleep! Now look what you've done!"
"Out!" John ordered, ushering his eldest out of the room and closing the door behind her. Seeing Helen start to pull the covers back to rise, he ordered her to stay where she was and went to retrieve their youngest, who was pitifully crying out in a congested tone. Looking down into the crib, he forgot his argument with Ashley as he stared down at his sick infant. Her little face was flushed with dark pink streaks on her cheeks and her little fists were lightly flailing about. Carefully scooping her up into his arms, he softly murmured to her in an attempt to calm her as he carried her over to her exhausted mother. "Why don't you get some rest?" he said, ignoring her oustretched hands as he tried to rock the baby back to sleep. "I'll take care of her."
Keeping her hands outstretched, the increasingly grouchy new mother countered with, "I'll take care of her. We both need some rest and quiet. You can go play parent to your stubborn little mini-me. You can start by taking her and Kate to the Halloween shop to pick up the costumes."
John frowned, not liking that suggestion at all and returned with, "How about Kate and Henry take Ashley to the costume shop and I stay here and rock you and baby to sleep?" He gave her a flirty little smile to encourage her.
Unmoved, Helen retorted, "How about you hand over the baby and I won't have to shoot you? And I've already had my turn at accompany Ashley to costume shops and trick or treating. You can take your turn this go round." When he continued to refuse to relinquish the infant, she added, "Or have you changed your mind about wanting to take on the role of being a full-time parent to our daughters?"
Sighing, he moved forward and laid the baby into her mother's arms. Helen pulled the sleepy baby close to her chest, lightly rocked her and tilted her face down to place a kiss on the soft little forehead. Without looking up, she mumbled, "You're still here."
"The scene before me is too beautiful to turn away from," he praised and bent to sit down on the bed.
"Get out," she ordered softly as she kept her eyes fixed on the now sleeping face of her baby. "And don't come back without a Scooby outfit."
"As if they would have one my size," he snorted confidently as he slowly lumbered to the door.
Turned out the store did have one that fit his 6 foot 4 inch frame. The glowering, long face on his imposing form put a damper on the household as they gathered for dinner that night. However, there was many a chuckle at Kate's recounting of the shopping trip and Druitt's crestfallen face at being informed by the half-stoned, perky clerk that "Oh dude, no worries man. We have that outfit in very size. Scooby Doo is like the man… or dog," the clerk laughed. "Everyone wants to be him. I know I'd like to have a Scooby snack right now."
"Not everyone," Druitt had hissed through clenched teeth as his thrilled daughter looked up at him and grinned.
"It'll be fun, daddy," Ashley insisted as she clutched her bagged costume to her chest. "Maybe we can even catch a bad guy in costume like Mystery Incorporated does on the show. Wouldn't that be cool?"
"No," her father had groaned. "Catching your mother's odd assortment of vermin is plenty enough."
"I can volunteer a certain vampire we all know and would love to throttle," Kate offered, earning her the first genuine smile from Druitt since they had entered the store. "I bet we could even trick him into wearing a cape. He's already got the fangs and long nails."
Tilting his head thoughtfully, John mused, "Tempting," as he reluctantly accepted the bagged costume from the clerk. "But the real trick would be getting him to say 'blah, blah, blah' in a bad Transylvanian accent."
The others howled at that bit of the story. "Oh, dude," Henry chortled, "we so have to get him to do it… and on tape so that I can torment him with it forever. He wanted to test his latest toy today and ended up melted my iPhone by, and I quote, accident" the annoyed young HAP shared. "The least I could do is return the favor."
John laughed and shook his head at the young man. "There is no way any of you are going to get Tesla to say 'blah, blah, blah' in a bad Transylvanian accent any more than you're going to be able to get him into a cape. Not going to happen."
"Want to bet on it?" Kate prodded with a raised eyebrow. "It could liven things up for tomorrow."
Turning, the group gave the attractive young woman a sharp look. "What are you proposing?" Will asked with a widening grin on his face. This might be a good distraction from the embarrassment of having to dress up as Fred… which in the scheme of things was infinitely better than having to dress up as either Velma or Scooby.
"Everyone puts $50 into the pool. The first one to get the Doctor Frankenstein to say the key phrase on tape gets the money and the honor of being the one to prank Tesla."
"Oh, I am so in," Henry exclaimed and pulled money out of his jean pocket to toss onto the dinner table.
"Me too," Will laughed and followed suit. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."
"Seconded," John agreed, tossing his money onto the table as well.
"Then we're all agreed," Kate said as she counted out the pile, including her share. Handing the money over to the Big Guy, she reminded the group that they would have to be careful with their attempts. Tesla was no fool.
"Oh, he's a fool alright," John scoffed. "But you're right, he isn't stupid."
"Magnus isn't going to like this," the Sasquatch reminded them with a grunt as he tucked the money away. "You know how fond she is of him."
The group all nodded at the same time and exclaimed, "No one tells Magnus."
The next day proved to be quite irritating for one very annoyed vampire as one person after another made vampire cracks because it was Halloween. "Halloween has nothing to do with vampires," Nikola sniffed haughtily. "It's a pagan holiday celebrated by a bunch of fools who thought dressing up as scary things would ward off evil. How it managed to evolve into a calorie loaded, candy groveling activity I do not know nor do I care! Now, be gone, Wolf boy. Don't you have a moon to bay at tonight?" he taunted as he rose from his chair to return to his lab. It was bad enough he had to leave his work to share lunch with Helen's motley crew but he drew the line at vampire baiting over a meal. And poor vampire baiting at that.
"Don't you have some necks you have to bite?" Henry tossed back. "You know, all that 'I vant to suck your blood?' shtick that all Hollywood vampires do?" All of Henry's attempts to trick Telsa into saying the magic phrase had failed so far but he wasn't detoured. If anyone was going to win this bet it was him. He could get under his fellow techie's skin in a way that no one else in the household could.
"Hollywood?" Nikola snorted derisively. "Please. According to those idiots the ideal for a vampire is a brooding adolescent who wears red lipstick and stalks an immature, self-centered teenager brat. Oh, and he sparkles like a pearl. A pearl!" the vampire snorted again indignantly. "Helen was more masculine and powerful in her Victorian corsets and long skirt than sissy-boy Cullen any day. He is a blight upon the name of all dignified vampires everywhere." He paused. "Even if that's just technically me."
"So," Kate drawled, amused by Tesla's flushed cheeks, "you've read Twilight then, have you?"
"Only out of idle curiosity," Nikola admitted with a deepening blush, "but only half of the first book. I couldn't take his self indulgent moping or her incessant whining enough to finish that atrocity of a book."
"Yeah," Will said nonchalantly as he reached for another piece of fried chicken. "I couldn't finish the book either. When I got to the part where he takes her to the Halloween dance and jokingly whispers 'blah, blah, blah, you look so hot under the moonlight' and she giggles like a little girl I tossed the book across the room."
"He never says blah… that!" Tesla caught himself before he repeated Will's words and smirked as the psychologist's tensed shoulders deflated. As if Doctor Goody-Two-Shoes was going to trick him into say that tired old phrase.
"So," Kate drawled again as she picked up her glass of iced tea. "You've read more than half the book."
The piercing look the annoyed vampire aimed her way before spinning on his heels and departing caused her to giggle and clink glasses with Will while the other adults snickered.
"I almost had him," Will boasted before taking a triumphant bite of his chicken leg.
"Almost is your face pressed against the window of a lingerie store," Kate retorted back. "All peek but no touchy."
Screwing up her face, Ashley asked, "What exactly does that mean?"
"Nothing!" her father quickly growled and glared at the two adult offenders. "Here, have some more macaroni and cheese," he said and put a large helping onto her plate.
"Mmmm," the child murmured as she stabbed her fork into it. "I love mac and cheese."
"So does your mother," the Big Guy said. "As soon as she wakes up from her nap I'll take her some along with a pot of hot tea."
"I still almost had him," Will began again, and then stopped when John stared at him in warning. "Well, that's more than you three have managed."
"I could have had him if someone didn't interrupt," Kate accused and pointed a fork at Henry, who came back with, "Wishful thinking. No way was he going to fall for that."
"It appears you are all failing," John appraised with a soft laugh.
"We don't see you trying any better," Henry shot back.
"Oh, I'm not trying at all," John smirked and grinned at the three.
"What?" Kate exclaimed in surprise. "Why not?"
"You don't think James, Nigel and I didn't take every opportunity we could find to razz Tesla with bad vampire imitations and jokes when we were younger?" John laughed. "We could never get him to say that phrase, ever. Looking back, it's a miracle he didn't kill us all before graduation. Well, James and Nigel anyway. I was always too quick for him."
"Then why did you want to participate?" Will asked with a frown.
"I was just curious to see how far you would go. At least the three of us got creative. You lot are just pathetic," he laughed again.
"Give us an example so we pathetic three can learn, oh master," Kate stated sarcastically and batted her dark eyes at him.
Tilting his head, John thought about it for a moment. "Well, there was the one time we pinned paper bats to the ceiling of his boarding room, which was on the top floor of an old stone house, and hung a big sign in Latin that read 'Bats in the Tesla belfry. Trespassers beware. We're all a little batty here.' James and I laughed our heads off from the second floor math room watching Nikola chasing Nigel up and down the lawn at early dusk."
"Nigel could turn invisible," Will reminded him. "How would Tesla be able to track him?"
John laughed again. "He managed to nail Griffin with talcum powder as he was running down the stairs before Nigel could get all of his clothes off." He chuckled again. "I don't know what was funnier. A powder white Nigel running past in his shorts from Tesla, who was swearing in his thick accent that he was going to suck Griffin dry, or the startled look on Helen's face when the pair raced by her."
The Big Guy snorted. "I'd go with Magnus."
The group laughed. "Can we go trick or treating now?" Ashley asked hopefully. "I want to get candy!"
"We have to wait until it gets starts to get darker," Kate replied. "But," she said as she pushed back from the table, "that will give us plenty of time to get ready. If I'm going to be a fashion wreck in that costume I'm going to look good doing it."
"How do you look good and a wreck at the same time?" Ashley inquired as she climbed out of her chair and followed her.
"It's a gift, honey. Stick with me and you'll learn a thing or two," Kate joked and wrapped an arm around the girl as they exited together.
"Okay, that's a frightening proposition," Henry said of the departing duo.
"Seconded," John and Will repeated in unison.
Several hours later, the five set off to attend a Halloween fest event being held at the Old City Civic Center where candy booths, planned children's activities and a large, enclosed haunted house provided a safe location for families to interact and play.
The group's attire caught many people's attention, ranging from "awwws!" for little Ashley's Daphne to one smart aleck teenager's "You're a little short for Fred, aren't you mister?"
Course, no one got more curious looks than John, who was probably the tallest Scooby Doo anyone in this building had ever laid eyes on before. At the spinning wheel booth, the operator, who was dressed in a skimpy French maid's outfit, eyed John hungrily and seductively proclaimed, "My, you sure are a big drink of water, big fella."
John raised an amused brow at her flirtations before returning his focus on his daughter, who was having the time of her life tonight. His unhappiness at wearing the dreadful outfit had faded as he experienced the uninhibited joy that his eldest child was exhibiting and sharing with him.
Giving the wooden wheel a big spin, Ashley crinkled up her button nose and stared at the woman suspiciously and then squealed as the wheel landed on the "ghoul pop" wedge. Without sparing the child a glance, the woman, who had immediately noted that the child's accompanying adult wore no wedding band, handed the girl a large marshmallow on stick that was decorated to look like a ghost as she purred to John, "Perhaps you could come by some time? We could play… fetch."
Surprised, John looked at the woman and gave a soft chuckled. "Tempting. But I must pass. Thank you." Apparently a large, ridiculous dog outfit wasn't a turn off for everyone.
"Are you sure?" the woman began again, ignoring the next child that had wandered up to the wheel. "I have a big ball… or two."
John's response was cut short by Ashley's "My daddy only plays fetch with my mommy. And she has a big gun and isn't afraid to use it," the child exclaimed as she gave the flirting attendant the stink eye. Behind him, John heard Will and Henry, who had just rejoined them with bags of cotton candy, burst out laughing. Grabbing her father's hand, Ashley gave the startled woman another dark glare and said, "And you keep your balls away from my daddy!" before dragging him away guffawing.
Kate, arriving with a drink for herself and Ashley, stared down at the howling figures of Will and Henry lying on the floor laughing their heads off. "What? What did I miss?" she asked in confusion.
"Balls!" Henry choked out as his eyes watered up.
"Fetch!" Will choked back out, causing them to start laughing harder.
"What?" Kate asked again as the embarrassed attendant quickly turned away and handed a child their prize and pretended not to hear the laughing onlookers.
It was close to ten p.m. when Helen heard the footsteps coming down the hallway. The light, quick footed ones in front announced her oldest child's entrance before her little body flew through the doorway. "I'm home!" Ashley called out in greeting as she rushed over to her mother, who was resting on the couch in her study dressed in her pajamas and matching navy robe. Helen's legs rested on a tufted ottoman and lying on a pillow across her mother's lap was the newest member of the Sanctuary family. Her grey-blue eyes blearily stared around the room as best they could to observe all the sights and sounds around her.
"Did you have fun, darling?" Helen asked as Ashley leaned against her side and stared down at the baby with a smile.
"Uh huh," Ashley answered and held up her large bag. "I got lots and lots of candy."
"Lovely," Helen replied, thinking she would have to get her old friend to quietly hide handfuls of the candy a little bit at a time to prevent the child from gorging on it all week, and gave the rest of the stragglers a smile as they each flopped down into chairs tiredly.
Sitting down on corner of the oversized ottoman, John leaned down to kiss the chubby cheek of his youngest child and then leaned back to smile at her mother. "Don't say it," he warned, recognizing the wicked little gleam in her eyes as she looked over his large form in the ridiculous dog outfit.
"Love the ears," she giggled at the sight of the hood that was still pulled up over his head. One ear stood upright while the other had flopped over crookedly.
"I thought you were going to start with the tag and collar again," he admitted as he scooped up the baby and scooted further into the ottoman and pushed Helen's legs over. He had not been amused at her earlier teasing about how the collar and tag would make it easier for her to keep him on a shorter lease.
"You mean the 'S' for 'Stupid'?" Nikola remarked at he gave his old classmate a smug look.
"The S stands for Scooby," Ashley seriously corrected her godfather in regards to the tag with an 'S' that was part of her father's dog outfit.
"Oh, is that what it stands for," Nikola said. "Are you sure it's not for silly? Or sad sack?"
"No," Ashley giggled. "Scooby is the dog's name. It starts with an S."
"I like my version better," Nikola muttered softly, causing Helen to give him her patent "behave" look.
"I never want to see cotton candy again," Henry groaned as he flopped back against his chair with closed eyes. "I think my tongue's turned into sugar."
Seated opposite him and next to Helen, Nikola gave him a smirk. "I didn't know canines liked spun sugar. I would think that would rot your precious teeth," he said and flashed his perfectly white chops at the boy. "A werewolf with missing teeth would be pointless, wouldn't it? You'd just be a big dog with no bite. Sort of like Silly here."
"I have plenty of bite left in me," John rumbled lowly and gave the smug vampire a menacing look.
"Yeah, like that's going to scare me when you're dressed like an oversized, spotted hound and holding a drooling baby," Nikola snorted and poured himself another glass of wine from the nearby bottle.
"Don't you have belfry to fly around in, Vlad?" Henry groaned and popped open one eye to glare at Tesla. "Maybe some bugs to eat? Bats like bugs, right?"
Nikola responded with "Ashley, perhaps Henry would like some candy. Why don't you offer him that big lollipop?"
"No way," the girl replied and hugged the bag of treats to herself. "That's mine."
Henry let out a large groan and rubbed his stomach. "Ohhhh! No more sugar or else I'm going to need to have my stomach pumped!"
"I hear you," a sprawled out Will groaned from a nearby chair. "Remind me to never agree to a cream pie eating contest again. If I never see meringue again it won't be too soon."
Amused, Helen looked over at Kate and noted the pleased look on the young woman's face. "And why are you so happy, if I may be so bold to ask?" Helen said.
"Kate has a hot date with Fred Flintstone," Ashley tattled and gave a giggle.
"Is that so?" Helen laughed.
"Yeah, who knew dressing up as a cartoon nerd would turn a man on," Kate cracked with a laugh. "Apparently the combination of short skirt and knee socks drives men crazy."
"I could have told you that," Will snorted. "Why do you think there's so many schoolgirl Halloween outfits available? I mean, hello? Naughty Harry Potter? There had to have been a dozen of them strutting around the civic center tonight."
Ashley looked up at her mother. "Some lady thought daddy was hot too. I told her you'd shoot her if she tried to play fetch with him."
Startled, Helen's head whipped up to stare at John. "It was nothing," John explained with a shake of his head. "Really, nothing. A simple misunderstanding."
"She offered him her balls and I told her she better keep them away from my daddy," Ashley continued with a big frown, eliciting laughter from the adults in the room.
"Balls," Will repeated and started laughing again.
"Fetch," Kate purred and doubled over in laughter as Henry slid out of his chair laughing and groaning onto the floor.
"Stop it," Henry bellowed and laughed at the same time. Clutching at his stomach he whined, "I can't laugh anymore. I'm sugared out. You're going to make me pee my pants."
"Well that's an attractive image," Nikola said with a roll of his eyes and gave Helen a put upon look at having to tolerate the antics of her childish crew. She responded by stealing the glass from his hand and taking a quick sip of the sweet, dark liquid she had not savored for several months. Closing her eyes, she gave a soft moan of pleasure and ignored the reprimanding look she knew John was aiming her way. Reopening her eyes, she took another sip before handing Nikola his glass back with a smile and waited for his reaction. He stared at her, then down at his glass, then back at her, and then, after a long pause, turned the glass in his hand to a clean spot on the glass rim and returned to sipping his wine. Helen bit the corner of her mouth to keep from outright giggling at him. Had anyone else done that to him he would have been tossed the glass aside and gotten a new one. After he had killed the person who had dared to drink out of his glass.
"Perhaps we could turn this conversation in another more age appropriate direction," John commanded in annoyance, most of which was aimed at the mother of his children, and stood up to change his daughter's diaper. That strong smell certainly wasn't come from him. The corner side table of Helen's office had been cleared away to serve as a temporary changing table and he strolled over there with the complaining infant who clearly did not like having a wet bottom.
"I know what else we can talk about," Ashley announced and turned to her mother.
"What?" her mother asked hesitantly, afraid of what else her daughter was about to reveal regarding tonight's little jaunt.
"Next Halloween," Ashley exclaimed and clapped her hands together excitedly. Loud groans of protest were issued by the others.
"I'm not sure I'm going to survive this one," Henry moaned from his spot on the floor. "Let's not discuss the horrors you have in store for us next year."
"Oh, but next year is going to be great," Ashley reassured. "I have the perfect costume and everything. Want to see?"
"You already have the costume?" her mother asked in surprise.
"Just wait," Ashley commanded and rushed out the room, passing the Sasquatch as he entered with a tray of tea, cocoa and sandwiches.