Fandom/Section: Final Fantasy VII

Author: labrat_seph

Beta: None

Chapter: 1 of ??

Words: 1192

Warnings: Lots and lots of rambling thoughts.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, places, or things mentioned in any of the games.

Summary: The emotions of one unsettled SOLDIER. His thoughts more than anything.

Author's Note: This is just something I wrote because I need to write. It's not really meant to mean anything and I don't really care if anyone reads this and or likes/reviews it. Review if you like, flame if you like. I don't care. I got what I needed from this. I've been told to carry on writing, which I will, simply because it's helping me with my emotions at the moment.

Panicked and Stressed

Step. Step. Left. Right. Left. Right. Pause. Turn. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Pause. Turn. Repeat.

He couldn't stop, couldn't think. Thinking led to more of the same. Thinking led to more swift, shallow breaths. Thinking meant water, tears, collecting in the corners of his eyes.

No. Right now, thinking was bad. It was worse than... Than... No. No thinking. Thinking was bad.

Again the pacing resumed. Steps that were normally light and collected were loud, sloppy and unbalanced. The SOLDIER couldn't really explain the reason for it these episodes and he doubted that he would ever be able to if he hadn't yet. He wasn't sure how long this one would last, not with the fact that his calls and messages went unanswered. How many calls had he placed? How many of those mail messages had he sent out? He honestly had no clue and, again, he doubted that he would ever know. The phone in his grasp, one he had been issued long ago, only held so much information, only so much data. Then again, he didn't really want to know how desperate he had become suddenly.

He stopped, checked his phone again to see that if, by some miracle or curse, he had missed a call or a reply to anyone of the messages he had placed or sent.

Nothing.

Gaia be damned. Minerva be damned.

Where were they? Why weren't they answering?!

Couldn't they tell? Didn't they sense that something was completely and totally wrong? Didn't they realize that he wouldn't make that many calls, send that many messages if there wasn't a reason for it?

Dear sweet Mother Gaia. Why wasn't she answering his pleas? Why was she completely ignoring his prayers? Wasn't there anything she could do to help him? Why? Why couldn't she help him now, in his hour of need, of desperation?

The steps resumed, their sound bouncing off the floor, the walls and flooding his ears. Dammit! Why wasn't this helping? It always helped before! Gods above, someone... He just needed someone, one of them would be enough. Both were ideal but he was willing to make do with one. They who knew him best would know what to do. They would know exactly what he needed, how he needed it.

Where were they? Why weren't they there?

It wasn't helping, this walking back and forth. It was supposed to help but it wasn't helping right now and he had no idea what would. Not if his calls and messages went unanswered, unheeded.

What to do? What to do?

He paused again, his breathing rapid, unsteady. His nostrils flared as he swift shallow breaths of air filled his lungs. It wasn't enough, not by far but it would have to do. His hand clenched into fists as he stood in place, remaining still for all but his breathing. He was close to losing it, he knew, but he was doing everything he could to remain collected. He needed to keep from lashing out, from tearing the room apart, from blowing it up, from passing out.

He just didn't know how to do that. Not right now. Nothing was helping. He was too far gone for the normal things to help him. That was blatantly obvious now. Still, he had to try. He had to.

Salvation from his mind was what he needed. The salvation he could find with them; the peace they so easily granted him with their mere presence. Of course, they never realized that they were able to do so. Well at least he didn't think that they knew.

There. Two sets. They were getting closer. Yes. Yes! It was them. He could feel it in his very being.

Still, he remained in place and waited with the calm patience he knew he didn't have but could still display. He strained his ears, waiting for the sound he was waiting for, that he couldn't wait to hear because it would mean that he wasn't alone anymore.

His head fell forward, chin resting upon his chest as his body slowly began to tremble lightly.

Stopped. They were stopped and it was right outside the door. The door was the last barrier between them and... And...

He nearly fell then and there as it moved aside with its quiet hiss, no longer barring the path between himself and the other two he was waiting for, that he needed.

"Genesis!" The two voices all but shouted.

And he looked up, his eyes betraying everything that he felt, everything he knew only they would understand. They would know what to do now. He was sure.

Blessed merciful Gaia. Thank you. Dear venerable goddess be blessed. Bless them both.

It was quick and wonderful. Two pairs of arms attached to two wonderfully strong supportive bodies suddenly engulfed him. Their warmth, their comfort seeped into him, letting him know that everything was fine now, he was safe and sane.

A sigh of relief passed his lips as his head slowly fell forward to rest on the two other's with a small smile curled on his lips.

This, the simple embrace, was all that he needed for his worries, panic and stress to fade away. It was wondrous what a little bit of comfort could do to his nerves. How much it really settled him was quickly made known by the fact that he had slumped forward suddenly.

His energy was completely gone drained away by the sense of hollowness that had filled him. It was only that he was still feeling those emotions that had kept him standing before and without them he was at peace at last.

A soft snort told the other two just how relaxed their friend had become in the ten seconds they had held him together.

"Is he alright?"

"Yeah. He'll be fine."

"This isn't the first time...."

"And it won't be the last either." He shifted a little, nodding to his friend as to signal that he would be able to support the slumbering male's weight without difficulty.

"Angeal," The first speaker had said, a worried frown upon his facial features. "This isn't normal."

The Banoran answered with a light, soft chuckle, his head shaking. "Genesis is anything but normal Sephiroth. You should know that by now."

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes a little, following after Angeal as the other carried Genesis to his own room. He couldn't help but agree with Angeal that nothing about Genesis was normal but his random outbursts of emotion were strange, even for the slumbering man.

"What caused it this time?"

"I don't know," the man answered as he placed Genesis into the bed, his friend taking care to remove his shoes before covering him up. "We'll ask when he wakes. For now, just let him rest..."

"Alright..." Sephiroth nodded as he followed Angeal to the door, softly closing it behind them as they left Genesis to sleep. He wouldn't forget to ask, even if Angeal was willing to let it go and accept that they had helped for the time being.

Later, the answers would come. For now, he could wait.