A/N: I really love 'Ponine and Grantaire as friends so ofc I had to write a one-shot about them.
Disclaimer: My life would be awesome if I owned these characters.
Eponine wound her way between the narrow streets and back-alleys. She wandered aimlessly, with only a vague idea of where she might want to end up. Eventually she emerged from a side-street and found herself beside the Seine. This was where she often sat, on a bench looking out over the river, when she needed to escape the students and their growing revolution. When looking at Marius just hurt too much.
She walked to the edge, leant her elbows on the wall and stared down blankly at the churning water below. The water looks just like how my mind feels, she mused. How ironic.
So caught up in her thoughts, she started when a man appeared suddenly to her left, staggered to the edge of the wall and vomited violently over the side. He spluttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. It took him several minutes to notice Eponine; when he did he smiled drunkenly and moved towards her. She backed away slightly and the man frowned.
"Eponine, it's me. Ma chérie, hello."
Suddenly, his face swam into recognition. "Grantaire! I didn't realise it was you." She took a closer look at the cynic. "You've had a bit too much tonight, haven't you, Monsieur?"
Grantaire nodded absent-mindedly. "I believe so. But I can still walk and talk, so the night is not yet over."
Eponine chuckled, knowing that Grantaire's tone was mocking. He knew he shouldn't drink to excess, yet he found it impossible to stop before it was too late. Grantaire smiled and nodded at a nearby bench, wobbling over to it and sinking down. He patted the space next to him and Eponine took the offer happily. They sat in silence for several minutes before Eponine sighed and rested her head on Grantaire's shoulder.
"Why doesn't he see me?"
Grantaire looked down at the scrawny girl, hearing despair and confusion in her voice. "You mean Marius? He does see you, 'Ponine."
"But not the way I want him to," she wailed. "I try so hard but he never notices. Today he commented on a silly bourgeois that breezed by the café... It's like he can't see past his nose! What does she have that I don't?" Eponine sniffed. "Apart from money, that is."
Grantaire sighed. "I don't know, ma chérie."
Eponine moaned slightly, adjusting her head on her friend's shoulder. "It hurts, Grantaire."
"I know, 'Ponine." Grantaire thought of all the times he had wished for Enjolras to notice the way he looked at him. Of all the times when all he'd wanted was to stroke his golden hair and have him listen for a few minutes. Without mocking, without anything standing between them. "I know. But it gets easier over time."
Eponine sighed in frustration. "I don't want it to get easier! I just want to be with him."
"What if he finds another? What will you do then?"
Eponine became motionless for a few heartbeats before replying defiantly, "Then I'll jump off the bridge and into the Seine."
"Oh, Eponine!" Grantaire wriggled away from her and took her hand in his. "No, you won't."
"Yes, I will! If he finds someone else, why shouldn't- "
"Because there is always some reason to go on," Grantaire interrupted. "Do you have any idea how many times I have had that very same thought? I've lost count of the times I have walked along the edge of the stone and decided to jump, I really have. But do you know what pulls me back, every single time?"
Eponine shook her head mutely, caught between horror and curiosity. She had never seen Grantaire appear so vulnerable. He was usually such a jovial cynic, but now there was nothing but pure honesty in his voice.
"Enjolras. I think of him and then I don't feel so bad."
Eponine rolled her eyes. "But that's different."
"Is it? How are my feelings for him any different to what you feel for young Marius?" Grantaire shook his head. "It's all the same, 'Ponine. You want nothing but to be with Marius. I want the same. I wish Enjolras all the love in the world; but most of all, I wish it for myself. I know – that makes me selfish. But why shouldn't I be? He doesn't listen to me, and when he does, he shuns me. Why can't I long for a time when he will see me as his equal? Isn't that what you want with Marius?"
"I suppose so."
"I have to believe there's a way for us. So you see, I couldn't jump off this bridge if I wanted to. And at times, trust me, I have seriously considered it."
Eponine, stunned, could only stare at him. She had never known how deep his feelings for Enjolras ran and now that she did, she couldn't help but see him in another light. He was no longer a simple drunkard who drank to block out the world; he was a man in pain who drank to block out his feelings for his leader. A leader who all but ignored him.
I don't have it so bad, thought Eponine. I could always walk away from Marius and have him think nothing of it. But if Grantaire deserts the students, they would notice and question him. Enjolras would be angry.
"I'm sorry, 'Taire. I didn't know."
"Yeah, well, if you didn't figure it out then there's no way he'll realise. You're smarter than he is, 'Ponine." Grantaire winked, then became sober. "I trust my deep dark secret is safe with you?"
Eponine laughed. "Of course! And it's not that bad, Grantaire – you're only human and Enjolras is, well... easy on the eyes."
"Yes, he is," Grantaire grinned. "But that's not just why I love him. He's clever and strong and good with words. All the things I'm not."
"But you're good at other things: like painting and being honest and making people laugh. Enjolras can't tell a joke to save his life."
"Yes, but what good is all that? How am I to make a living on my own? A pitiful drunk has a hard time finding paid work, you know."
"You're not a- "
Grantaire gave Eponine a blunt look and she rephrased. "That's not all you are, Grantaire."
"It's all he sees me as. That's enough to doom me forever."
"Oh, Grantaire, he does like you. He does. We can all see it. You just have to look hard enough." Eponine sighed and hugged her friend, ignoring the vague odour of absinthe. "It's this stupid god complex he has. He thinks he's like marble; cold and emotionless. He'll realise eventually that he's not going to get any better than you, Grantaire."
Grantaire rubbed his face before smiling tiredly at Eponine. "Well, for what my opinion is worth, I don't think you should have to wait for Marius. You're brilliant, Eponine. It's his loss if he can't see you there."
"He might yet. There's still hope. I still say there's a way for us. I don't know how, but there is," Eponine mumbled dejectedly.
"Maybe. But they will never see our affection until it's too late."
Eponine flinched slightly: Grantaire's voice was quietly resigned. It seemed to hurt them both to hear it said out loud. They sat in silence until Grantaire shook his head heavily and stood up.
"Come on, ma chérie. I'll walk you home."
A/N: Reviews are like hugs... I like hugs! x