so first chapter! set right after the Misham Trial, let's do this thing! ty to truitt for beta-ing! (ur still gay)

Klavier hasn't moved since the verdict was announced.

It's like the words froze him. It's like they're ice, coating every inch of his skin. Apollo's nearly certain that Klavier hasn't blinked or breathed since, that he's just stood there, staring.

Kristoph has been led away, the spectators have filed out. There's not a single person left in here but Klavier and Apollo, both still standing at their desks. They've turned to face the witness stand, staring in unblinking quiet. The external noise from the lobby has died down to all but a muffle.

The courtroom has been empty for awhile, but Klavier hasn't reacted to anything since the word guilty. His eyes are locked on the vacant witness stand like his life depends on it, like the world will disappear if he blinks.

It's like he's trying to convince himself that it's all real.

Apollo doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to say, what will get Klavier to snap out of it and get back to the normalcy that Apollo so desperately needs.

Apollo's been standing here for as long as Klavier has. After the trial ended, he waved a hand and told Trucy to go on out without him, to check on Vera Misham while he ties up a few loose ends.

Only now, Apollo's realizing that he doesn't know how.

The courtroom feels strangely quiet with just him and Klavier in it. It's creepy, in a sense, like being at school after hours when no one else is there. The judge's chair is bare, the witness stand unoccupied, the defendant's place cleared. It's like the trial never even happened, like no one was ever there.

It's quiet, though, not silent, because there's that sound that's impossible to get out of Apollo's head. There's the sound of Kristoph laughing, delirious and shrill, echoing on and on. It's ringing in Apollo's ears like a catchy song, pressed into the forefront of his mind and never leaving. Apollo can't block it, can't remember what life was even like without it there all the time.

The only thing Apollo can hope is that one day he'll be able to forget that sound, pure hopelessness and destruction in a single unending laugh. It goes on forever, and Apollo can't beat it. He knows he'll never be able to erase that sound of pure mania. He's stuck with the image of Kristoph shaking, knowing that he's defeated. There's the way Kristoph's hair frizzed and tangled, the way he clutched his head as though he expected to fall apart- it's all too much, too much to forget.

Apollo wrenches his eyes away from the witness stand, and the image of Kristoph vanishes. He swallows, stealing a glance over at Klavier.

"You hear it too?" Apollo's voice is loud in the silent space, almost like he's intruded on something. It's scratchy and worn, a bit choked.

Nothing on Klavier moves, save for his lips. "Ja."

The room lapses back into silence again. The echo is still there, like it's on a loop. Laughing, laughing, laughing…

Apollo thinks he gets why Klavier is staring, now. Klavier's trying to make sure that Kristoph really left, that he's really and truly gone. It still doesn't feel quite real to Apollo, either. His blood is still pumping, heart racing as he tries to think, trying to catch Kristoph, somehow, forgetting that he's already won.

Apollo doesn't think this will ever be really over.

Now it's hard to rest, hard for Apollo to congratulate himself. Yeah, he's caught Kristoph, but this is time two. Who knows how many plots he had in motion, how many people he killed? He left a stamp and a bottle of nail polish as time bombs, how many more does he have? Will Apollo collapse some day, dead from Atroquinine poisoning?

Will Klavier?

Apollo shivers. He hopes not, hopes to hell and back. He makes a mental note to throw out everything Kristoph has ever given him, edible or not. He can't take the risk; he doesn't want to die by Kristoph's hand after all this.

"…Apollo?"

Apollo nearly jumps at the sudden sound. That's… Klavier's talking to him. W- Apollo didn't think he'd talk this soon, not willingly. Is he ok?

"Yeah?" Apollo asks, and immediately winces at the sound. Their voices both sound terrible. The energy behind them is gone, left with a listless, broken rasp.

Klavier closes his eyes, bowing his head. His lips are tightly pressed, like he's trying to keep the question from coming out. "Why am I alive?"

Apollo can't keep his eyes from widening. He manages to keep his jaw steady, but his next inhale is sharp. H-he's not thinking…? He couldn't have possibly meant-

Apollo swallows, trying to navigate the question. "What do you mean?"

Klavier's expression darkens, his jaw clenches. "I was the perfect target. It would have only been too easy for him."

Apollo stares down at the courtroom floor. Much as he hates the question, hates the thought of Klavier dead, Klavier… isn't wrong. He certainly would have been the easiest target, especially considering how much he trusted Kristoph.

It's actually kind of weird, how submissive Klavier is around Kristoph. Apollo can still remember the way Klavier's face twisted at Apollo's accusation, the way he began to sweat at the very thought that Kristoph wasn't who he said he was. Klavier simply couldn't believe it, it caused him physical pain just to try and believe it.

The darkness… Apollo can still hear the desperation in Klavier's voice, the need for help, to be saved. He was begging Apollo, risking any repercussions from Kristoph to ask for help.

It suddenly strikes Apollo that he was looking at the real Klavier for the first time back then. Apollo was seeing the carefully guarded man that believed too strongly in the truth to be beaten into submission, the man who is probably the best man Apollo had ever known. He was seeing the untapped, pure Klavier Gavin, part rockstar and part prosecutor and all passion.

Apollo glances back at the witness stand, checking. Still empty.

Now it's all over, but…

"Would you rather that he did?" It's a horrible thing to ask, Apollo knows it, but he can't help it. He focuses his gaze back on the floor, the way the lights reflect on the shiny tile.

Apollo feels numb all of a sudden, like his mouth asked the question of its own accord. Please say no, Klavier. Please.

Klavier doesn't answer the question. "I just want a reason, Apollo. Two men dead, one disbarred, one girl nearly dead, and I…"

He lets his voice trail off, lets it go after it cracks beyond recognition.

"I don't know." Apollo says simply, not looking up from the floor. He doesn't know what else to say, doesn't know why any of this happened when it so obviously shouldn't have.

"Gott, I don't understand," Klavier spits. He cringes then, wincing. "I-it hurts, Apollo. You feel it too, ja?"

Apollo nods. He knows what Klavier is talking about. His stomach hasn't stopped churning since Kristoph took the stand, since those eyes were on him again. They're like lasers, cutting through his skin like Apollo is nothing, less than nothing.

Apollo can't help but shrink under that glare.

It's silent again, and the laughing sound is back. Apollo gives an involuntary shudder, closing his eyes. He can remember the wild look in Kristoph's eyes as he laughed, the broken intensity of a thousand suns.

Klavier looks up, eyes fixated on the witness stand again. "Do you… hate him?"

Apollo's breath catches. Does he?

That's a hell of a loaded question.

"Will you think any less of me if I say that I don't know?" Apollo nearly mumbles, not looking up from the floor.

"Nein." Klavier's shoulders drop as he shifts stances, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know either. But… shouldn't it be obvious?"

Apollo closes his eyes. Kristoph Gavin. He's so many things. Murderer, abuser, stalker, poisoner, forger… but also brother, mentor, lawyer and visionary. The lines are blurred beyond comprehension, there's no way to separate one Kristoph from the other. It's all one man, one laughing man that Apollo can't get out of his head.

Apollo glances over at Klavier, trying to steady himself enough to speak again. He swallows. "Sometimes the hardest questions are the simplest ones."

Klavier nods, bobbing his chin a little, but not looking down. It's like he's avoiding eye contact with Apollo, trying not to face him. It's easy, with this much space in between their desks. "Ja. I can't figure out why I was spared."

"The only reason I can come up with…" Klavier pauses, letting his voice drop to a near whisper. "…is that I'm his brother."

Apollo winces. He doesn't want to take away what little hope Klavier has; he's already taken so much in these few trials they've had together. Apollo knows that Klavier is alone now, that everyone who might have loved him is more than gone.

Apollo thinks Klavier's figured it out, though. With anyone else, that conclusion might make sense, but with Kristoph…

Klavier laughs coldly, and it rings in time with the echo of Kristoph's. "He's right, isn't he? I am naïve and useless. I want so badly to believe that he loved me as much as I loved him, that some part of this is a mistake. I'm so stupid, Apollo.

"You're not stupid." Apollo says instantly. "You've been used."

"I don't feel angry, Apollo." Klavier says matter-of-factly, like he's reading from a textbook. "Just… empty."

Apollo swallows. He knows exactly what Klavier is talking about.

It took forever for Apollo to actually feel angry about Kristoph, about being lied to and manipulated and almost letting Kristoph get away with it all. Right after the first trial he just felt kind of… numb. It took awhile for it all to sink in, that he wasn't going to work tomorrow and that he'd probably never see Kristoph again. It took even longer to accept that Kristoph, smiling, serene, calm Kristoph had bludgeoned a man to death. That Kristoph was responsible for killing a man, that Kristoph was a murderer.

The realization was horrifying. Suddenly everyone had the capacity to be a murderer- because surely, if Kristoph could kill someone, anyone could. Nothing was safe anymore, and Apollo was completely alone for those two months.

It got better, though. Now there's Trucy with him, cheerful and supportive, and Mr. Wright, who's truly on Apollo's side, even if he is aloof and hard to read. Now there's Klavier, bright, shining, flirtatious Klavier, gorgeous and leaning in with a smile.

Klavier, who for all of his bravery is depending on Apollo now, begging him to please drive this darkness away.

Apollo looks up at the empty witness stand again. There's no one standing there. Kristoph is gone. Klavier and Apollo can do it, now. They can rebuild things. Together.

Apollo focuses on Klavier- the way his chin is tilted towards the ceiling, hiding his face, how his arms and shoulders drop as though he doesn't have the will to hold himself up. He looks just as alone as Apollo did in those two months, friends and family turned to murderers and surroundings turned to hell.

Apollo grits his teeth, willing his feet to move. He needs to walk over to Klavier; he can't talk to Klavier like this. The courtroom is too big to stand on opposite ends, too big for this space between them. They have to work together to get past this, to get past Kristoph.

No one should have to grapple with this alone.

Klavier barely notices Apollo walking towards him, judging by how he's unmoving again. It's like he's really turned to plastic, frozen in place for all eternity.

Apollo's footsteps seem deafeningly loud in the quiet room, but Apollo doesn't think he's ever been more grateful for a sound this loud. They're the only thing to listen to besides for Kristoph's laugh, little clicks whenever Kristoph stops to gasp for breath.

"Klavier?" Apollo's made it behind Klavier's desk, standing directly opposite him. He's standing right in front of Klavier, completely blocking Klavier's view of the witness stand.

"I…" Apollo swallows. He needs to be strategic about this. "I may not know if… if Kristoph loves you, and I certainly don't know him as well as you do, but…"

Apollo looks up, meeting Klavier's eyes. Klavier makes like he's going to look away, but Apollo stares him down. Neither of them can ignore this now. "Kristoph doesn't make mistakes- and if he does, he fixes them the first chance he gets."

Klavier's face screws up in confusion, so Apollo goes on. "What I'm saying is that if you're still alive, it's intentional."

Klavier's eyes widen like the thought is new to him, despite what he wants to believe. His expression instantly softens, and he truly meets Apollo's eyes. "J-ja."

"And for what it's worth," Apollo continues, pressing on with a little smile. "I'm glad that you're alive."

With that he reaches for Klavier's hand, hanging limp by his side. Klavier doesn't flinch or move away when Apollo's hand closes around his, just looks down and stares at the sight.

It takes a second for him to wrap his fingers around Apollo's hand, and Apollo exhales when he does. The touch feels really nice for some reason he can't explain; it makes something warm in his stomach jump. Sure, it's a bit awkward, Apollo doesn't know how close he can get and how much he can touch, but Klavier is taking his hand.

Klavier's hand is warm and a bit sweaty, but he's hanging onto Apollo's hand with a gentle passion. He looks exhausted, but he's still holding on.

Apollo smiles, trying to catch Klavier's eyes again. "Come on. Let's go."

Klavier nods without a word, letting Apollo pull him towards the courtroom door. They exit the courtroom together, hand in hand, leaving the sound of laughter behind.

thanks for reading! chapter 2 should be up soon!