Hey all!! This is just a short one shot!! I'm taking a page from the lovely and talented Mikell's book and using my writing as a tool for therapy. Figured if she can save money in therapy bills like that, so can I, dang it!! Because I really don't want to pay someone to tell me what I already know. But hey, it actually worked pretty good to approach it this way! I was having a weak moment and needed Raph to pull me out of the dumps. He took on the challenge and did a lot better than I expected him to. That turtle constantly surprises me, I tell you!

Disclaimer: I own nothing Ninja Turtle related. Joy is an OC that's made an appearance before in The Curse of the Rabid Fangirl. She's back for another round! Oh, and What Not to Wear is sooo not mine. But I think I need to be on that show. Mama could use a new wardrobe, that's for sure!

When the World Falls Apart

Down the dingy corridor of the oppressive sewer tunnels she walked, hands clenched in fists, her breathing angry and irregular. Her heart hammered so erratically that she was convinced she was going to stroke out at any minute. She focused on the hostile slap-slap of her tennis shoe soles against the pavement as they carried her to her destination. Once there, she reached up and yanked unnecessarily hard on the bar that would open the hidden wall into the lair. She had an agenda – deal with her fury and get someone who knew how blinding it could be to help her.

Michelangelo looked up lazily from his video game, his baby blues going wide when he saw her. "Hey there, Joy. What's the deal? You look-."

"Pissed, Mikey, I look pissed," she muttered, effectively stalling any further questioning as she passed purposefully by him. "Where is he?"

"Dojo," was the only reply he gave and she couldn't help but laugh a little on the inside. Smart man, knowing when not to push a pissed off woman. Donatello and Leonardo spared her cursory glances from the kitchen table as she rushed by. Being older and having known her and her fits of crazy for as long as they did, they knew when it was a good idea to say something, and when it really wasn't. That, and they were just glad there was only one of them she would choose to unleash that anger on.

Joy yanked her short hair into what hardly passed for a ponytail before reaching for the dojo's sliding door and yanking it open. Raphael stopped the attack on the training dummy in mid-punch, looking up slowly. The faintest grin tugged at the corner of his wide mouth. "Hey Joy."

She didn't reply. She chose to settle into an agitated pace instead and start rambling. "You know all of those times I joke around about sparing with you? Well I'm thinking today is the 'no joke' day. We're going to spar, you're going to take it easy on me because we both know I lack any form of training and skills to be anywhere near a decent opponent for you, but damnit I need this right now and you are the only person I know who understands this…this anger building up inside of me and how freakin' uncontrollable it is and how frustrating it is and I just…I…" she stopped pacing and grasped her head between her hands, releasing a garbled scream of dissatisfaction.

Without a word, Raph went to a cabinet alongside the wall and grabbed a role of athletic tape. He tossed it to her. "Wrap your hands," he explained at her confused look. "You're gonna need it."

She did as he said, wrapping the tape around the knuckles on her right hand several times before using her teeth to rip it free of the roll. She repeated the task on the other side, throwing the roll of tape to Raph when she was done. He stashed it back in the closet, then went to her and took her hands, looking them over critically. "Good enough. So go easy on ya, huh?"

She shrugged, trying to put on a face of indifference that conflicted directly with the whirlwind of anger and pain swirling dangerously inside of her. "Well it would be nice. Can't promise I'll do the same for you though."

He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and laugh. Joy was around the same height as him but nowhere near as strong as he was. She wasn't out of shape. Keeping up with her walking, climbing, tantrum throwing one year old didn't allow for it. But she wasn't a warrior. She was just a furious woman looking for an outlet. "Alright, bring it on, babe."

The first swing she threw he easily blocked, raising his brows a bit from the sting of her fist connecting with his open palm. Maybe he had underestimated just how angry she was. She threw another and another, each of them blocked without difficulty. When the tears started, he winced. Man, he hated it when women cried.

"You wanna talk it out?" he asked, regretting the words once they'd left his mouth.

Her breathless "no!" was followed by another punch, this one directed at his midsection.

"Oh, come on, Joy. You're a talker. You know it…I know it. Most days we can't get you to shut up."

"I…don't…want…to talk!" she growled, her fists coming at him faster.

Sighing, and knowing she was going to kill him for what he was about to do, Raph grabbed her hand with the next blow, twisted it behind her back and gave her a little shove. Sitting here and throwing sloppy punches at him wasn't going to help the underlying problem and as much as he didn't enjoy emotional women, he didn't like seeing her hurting like this either. "Talk, Joy."

"I said I didn't want to talk!" she yelled, stomping up to him and slamming her foot down on his instep. Caught off guard, he leaned slightly forward just enough to catch an elbow to the stomach that drove the air from his lungs.

"That's it woman," he muttered, straightening. "Talk, or I'm gonna start poundin' the crap outta ya." He performed a quick sweep kick, knocking her off her feet and unceremoniously onto her backside. She laid there for a moment, her arm over her eyes, gulping in air. Then, she slammed her fist down on the ground, her resolve strengthened, and stood again, ready to face off.

Raph was pretty tired by this point of being swung at, so he grabbed her a pair of training katana's. She took them, tested their weight with a wary glance, then nodded.

"I'm just sick of everything not going right," she said through her teeth, swinging at him. Her attacks were pitiful but it wasn't the attacks he was worried about. He was worried about her and giving her weapons had given her a better vantage to express the depths of her anger. "I'm sick of feeling worthless because no one will hire me, I'm sick of him thinking that I do nothing all day and paying absolutely zero attention to what I do all day. People's opinions on what I should be vaccinating my kid with, what I shouldn't be vaccinating my kid with, facing every day and wondering when the hell the bottom is just going to drop out and wondering why the heck its taking so long!! I mean really, does rock bottom see a point to keeping me waiting?! Or is it just an unreasonable sadist??"

"Take a breath, Joy," he advised, blocking her advances and keeping his eyes trained on her.

She did as he instructed, then launched into another tirade, her voice wavering. "And I'm so, so tired of letting people get to me. I don't understand how people can be so hurtful and so callous to others emotions. I don't get why they think it's okay to take a situation that was supposed to have ended hospitably and make it a million times worse just by…by being…hateful!"

"It's the way the world works, Joy. Hell, aint no one here that's perfect. People say and do things that hurt others without thinkin' all the time just because they're hurtin' themselves. I mean, look at me and Leo. Half the crap we get in arguments about starts because I'm all hurt about somethin' or he's all hurt about somethin' and we're just takin' it out on the other because we can't help it." He grabbed the practice katana when it came at him in a downward arch and pulled her close, his eyes softening. "You do it too."

She stared at him, her gray eyes hard and glazed with unshed tears. Then the fight went out of her. Her eyes closed and tears seeped through her thick lashes, tracing over her flushed cheeks. "I know I do," she admitted softly.

"Well, no point in gettin' all pissed about it if you're guilty of the same thing," he offered softly, not wanting to anger her. But the truth was important and he knew she valued it above all else. "And all that other stuff. Well, what is it you're old man always says?"

When she looked up at him again, the anger had left her gaze entirely and her lips were turned up in a half-smirk. "God never gives us more than he knows we can handle," she muttered. "You know, you're supposed to give me your own advice, not be borrowing other peoples."

Raph grinned, took the training katana's from her and set them aside. "Yeah well, your old man's got better advice than me anyway."

"Yes, yes. I know. He's a well of great information and advice…just gotta drop the bucket down." She rolled her eyes a little and laughed. When he was standing before her again, she sighed softly, closing her eyes once more as his thumb brushed gently at the tears lingering on her cheeks.

"All that other stuff…it's gonna get better. People are lookin' out for you."

"I know," she whispered, tears threatening again, emotion welling in her throat. "I just...I never thought this would happen to me. To us." She went into his arms, her shoulders trembling. "And part of me is grateful it's happening now - when my daughter is too young to understand what's happening and will never remember her mommy having a dozen different handouts on various forms of county assistance if things end up getting better at some point. I want her life to be better than mine."

"All parents want that for their kids, Joy," Raph reminded her, his hand traveling in a slow, soothing line up and down her back.

"I want it now, though," she muttered childishly.

Raph chuckled a little and hugged her tight. "Is she getting fed?"

"Yeah?"

"Is she right where she's supposed to be for all that…developmental crap?"

Joy giggled a little, pulling back and brushing at the lingering tears with the back of her hand. "Yes."

"Is she a happy kid?"

"When you're not telling her 'no'. Yes, she's an extremely happy kid."

"Well then I'd say you're doin' just fine by her, babe. She's got two parents who love her, she's got a roof over her head, she's got food to eat, and she gets spoiled like crazy by all your relatives."

"I know," Joy muttered. She was feeling much more calm now. More like herself. "It's ridiculous how much they spoil her." She went into his arms again, leaning heavily against him with a sigh of contentment. "Thank you."

"Hey, you know I'm always there for ya when you hit the low spots and need some help," he murmured. "Or…ya know…when ya hit all the really low spots and decide to have your way with me."

"Shut up your face!" she laughed, dropping one arm long enough to slug him lightly before wrapping it around his neck again. They fell into compatible silence, broken only moments later when Joy spoke up again, her voice soft and holding a trace of anxiety. "Raph?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"You know I would never deceive you, right?"

His arms tightened around her and she felt hear heart lighten, felt the sting of tears once more, cursed them softly, and took a deep breath to steady herself. "Course I do, Joy."

"Okay, good."

He chuckled softly, that deep baritone sound sending a shiver of delight down her spine. "Anything other issues here you wanna go over while we're at it?"

"Well." Joy moved out of his arms. "Yes, there is one very, very big issue." She sighed dejectedly and gave him a wounded look. "I left my ice cream bar out, forgot all about it and now it's all melted and I can't eat it until it's frozen again."

Raph stared at her, then started to shake his head slowly back and forth. "You need a freakin' shrink."

Joy gave him a brilliant smile. "I know."

"Good lord, how that husband of yours deals with ya is beyond me." Rolling his eyes, Raph slung his arm over her shoulder and guided her out of the dojo. "Wanna stick around and watch some TV? Eat some of Mikey's pizza?"

"Sure! What Not to Wear is on!"

"Yeah, no thanks. I'm still tryin' to shake some of the lingerin' gay off from the last time we all sat down and watched that. I have nightmares about Mikey and cucumber slices."

Laughing, the two joined Michelangelo just in time to catch him turning the channel from said TV show. The "caught red handed" look was just enough to provide them with suitable entertainment at the expense of the orange masked turtle for the rest of the evening.