Notes: This was written way back in December before my Fall quarter finals and before episode 52. I know some information is invalid, but bear with me, I haven't been able to write much due to school. I don't own Dota 2 or Dota 2 Reporter, and many apologies to Wronchi.
*Иду на мид. = I go mid.
"This is why we don't invite Ancient Apparition!" Rubick yelled at Enigma.
They spawned at the Radiant camp, both looking around at their surroundings. Another hero spawned with them, slumped on the floor and smelling like poison berry juice.
"Oh yaaaaaaaaaaaaw…" He slurred, using his cane to prop himself. He was purple and the berry juices smeared across his face made Rubick jump.
"I mean no harm," He burped, "I am Witch Doctor. I go mid." He hobbled his way over without buying a single item.
Next, an entity vaporized, black and red smoke swirling around his form. Bright red eyes shone from the head as he bought branches, a pair of agility slippers, and a set of tangoes. He only looked at Enigma and said, "Иду на мид."
With his ears rumbling from the voice, "I had no idea what that guy said," said Enigma as he observed Shadow Fiend, "Oh, looking good Shadow Fiend! Long time no see. I think someone already has mid."
Shadow Fiend walked toward the mid lane, and replied, "Cyka."
"The people are different here, Enigma," Rubick whispered to him, "They're not normal or a stupid kind of normal."
"Looks the same to me," Enigma shrugged, grabbing the mana mask and clarities, "Ancient Apparition is a busy guy. I don't expect too much out of him."
"Maybe you shouldn't have invited him next time, so we don't risk going to this place ever again?" Rubick lifted Enigma and swatted him.
"What's done is done. The only thing you can do now is to win this round," Nigel stepped in, wearing a white and navy blue sailor outfit, "Low priority is a concept not known to many people, but those unruly in normal matches are condemned to this place."
"Why are you in sailor outfit?" Enigma scanned Nigel.
"Something about Kunkka but that's beside the point," He rolled his eyes, "It's time for you guys to get going."
Then the water in the Radiant fountain shook. Leaves fell. Birds flew. Shockwaves reverberated through the ground as Enigma and Rubick huddled against each other in fear.
A tall monolithic stone man with yellow stripes appeared, opening his mouth only to have Mexican pop music to come out of his mouth. He was Earth Spirit. He, too marched over to mid.
"I'm guessing this a repeat of another match we had earlier?" Nigel observed the now crowded mid-lane, "I'm going to bathe in this fountain for a very, very, very long time now if you two don't mind."
The two, looking at the enemy team to see Sniper, Drow, Riki, Oracle, and Phantom Assassin, retreated to jungle as a sign of a hopeless match.
…
"This match is not going anywhere! Everyone but us keeps dying!" Enigma complained with both a blink dagger, mekansm, and soul ring in hand.
"But other team keeps dying too! Riki just died to the tower!" Rubick countered, wearing arcanes and holding a Eul's scepter and Aghanim's scepter.
"You, you, really have an Aghanim's?" Enigma sighed.
"Well how else am I gonna spend my gold after getting that lucky shot on Drow. He he, lucky shot."
"HOLY SHIT, SNIPER!" Enigma blinked over to him, stunning him and then trapping him into a black hole. Rubick threw a fade bolt at him and then proceeded to autoattack after. Despite all that burst damage, Enigma landed the last hit on Sniper.
"Shit and fuck!" Sniper spat at Enigma.
"Now I have money!" He yelled, ordering the courier to get a black king bar. Turning to Rubick, he sighed, "Yanno, Rubes…"
"What is it, Enigma?" The grand magus replied.
"We've been friends for a long time…"
"Mhm."
"And…"
"Mhm."
"How about we sit in this camp for a bit? And stop saying 'Mhm', it's driving me nuts."
"Well, I'm only affirming what you are saying. Nothing wrong with it."
"Then I want to say what was wrong with you in the match before I invited Ancient Apparition? What was going on in your mind? What happened to you? You-"
"It was all Timbersaw's fault! He kept diving too deep and thought he was some hotshot…" Rubick cut in, head swinging back and forth.
"It wasn't. Not at all. Timbersaw didn't touch a tower unless everyone else was there. But, you, you Rubick… You regressed to what I was. I thought you were better than me, like you had the leadership skills, you had the items, and you had the positioning… Why couldn't you kill me Rubick?"
Rubick sat still, dropping his staff and scepters. Eyes squinted, staring at the ground. He put his hands on his knees and curled into a ball, looking intently at Enigma.
"Dude, we've been friends for a long time. We're bound to be on opposite teams sometime. We gotta kill each other sometime. It's a natural part of defending these ancient-thingies. It's only natural that we have to kill other people. It's not fun, but it's for the good of the team. And that's what I did. Aren't you happy, Rubick? I finally did a good job! I helped in winning a match. I bought wards, I bought blink, I jungled properly to the best of what I can do… Why don't you look too proud, Rubick?" He forcefully and swiftly wiped a tear with his fist, "I thought you'd put up a fight…"
"I was scared that I would hurt you," Rubick mumbled, "I didn't want to end what you had. I didn't want to be the reason your thunder was stolen."
"Did it hurt when I killed you, Rubick?"
"It did, but…"
"Didn't you want to steal Black Hole and use it against me like you stole Tidehunter's Ravage and used that against us? I know that you would do that. It's a goal, a smart thing to do. Yet you didn't do it."
"I know but, us being apart felt really out of place. I felt out of place. I know this may sound clingy, I felt even more so when I saw you being… Yourself."
"Dude, I missed you, but I wanted to show what I was capable of." Enigma put a hand on Rubick's shoulder, "I thought you'd like that."
"I did… I really did." Rubick slowly held his hand out, almost to hold the fundamental's shoulder, but pulled away, "I felt like I couldn't challenge you."
"I honestly would be happier if you put up a fight, because I know you can and I know you know me. You knew my weaknesses-"
"Stop it!" Rubick yelled, lunging forward to pin Enigma down, now lowering his voice back, "I know what I did." He sat back down, eyes casted in the opposite direction.
"I just wanted an answer, Rubick. That's all." Enigma remained on the ground, "We have our bad days, but I knew something's going on."
"Well something is going on," Rubick replied indignantly, "And that thing is I... I..."
"What?"
"I..." The grand magus was at loss for words. Enigma slowly rolled himself back up. Without another word, Rubick leaned in to bump heads with Enigma. He knelt, pulling the fundamental closer to him. His fingers traced at every light band on his body.
"I love you, Enigma." He started to walk away.
"Don't go," Enigma got up and hugged him from the back, "I.. I love you, too. That's why I pulled all the stops to impress you." He nuzzled his neck.
"I felt ashamed when first I realized it. I thought I was losing my mind."
"Me too. I felt like I was trying too hard."
"I-" Rubick was then cut off.
The Radiant's bottom tower has fallen.
"I tried to banish it from my mind-" He continued.
The Radiant's top tower has fallen.
"I didn't have this raging urge to try until now, I guess distance did make the heart grow fonder," Enigma started to nuzzle him, "I guess you spoiled me, Rubick." They began to kiss again, except for a longer period of time.
The Radiant's middle tower has fallen.
"I was really scared, and really confused. I didn't expect to fall in love," Rubick patted Enigma's back, "Here I was protecting you so much because I felt you needed my help..."
The Radiant's bottom tower has fallen.
"With you, I didn't learn so much because of that. Sorry to say."
The Radiant's top tower has fallen.
"No, if Nigel saw the correlation, he'd chew me out," The grand magus rubbed the fundamental's shoulders, "I smothered you, and I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do with myself when you switched sides and you took advantage of it. You did good. You really did."
The Radiant's middle tower has fallen.
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You tried." He twirled his ponytail as he slid his finger on the gem of his pauldrons.
The Radiant's middle barracks have been destroyed.
"I know for sure Nigel is disappointed, but why should I be so sad when I have you?" Rubick hugged tighter as they continued kissing. Or in their attempt to.
The Radiant's bottom barracks have been destroyed.
"Now that's the fun Rubick I know!" Enigma slapped his back.
The Radiant's top barracks have been destroyed.
"I'm glad you're always so grrrrrrrrrrreat when I see you!"
The Radiant's ancient is under attack.
"Oh, for the love of god..." Enigma groaned.
The Radiant's ancient has been destroyed... Dire victory!
"SUCK MY DOG'S DICK!" Phantom Assassin bellowed, raising her glaive high towards the sky.
"Now that it's out there... What do we do?"
"Well I dunno..."
Rubick tumbled back and pushed Enigma into the neutral camp, "You know, for some purple ghost, you're kinda sexy... stupid sexy ghost." He drew circles on his chest.
"I always knew you were a freak... The good kind," Enigma pinned his arms to his sides, "C'mere you crazy wizard."
Rubick started to giggle, "Ooh, I feel something."
"Well you're showing too." Both began to rub against each other, members hardening. As time went on, they started to softly moan. Rubick began undressing, then kneeling naked to see his friend's body.
"Well, I... never knew it was that big," He blurted out.
"Wanna ride?" Enigma crossed his arms.
"Well, of course! I've always wanted that thing inside me when I saw you rub one out once!"
"You saw me rub one out?"
"It was a while ago and decided to peek in your tent once." Rubick began to rub himself at the thought.
"Glad you enjoyed the show, but I'm not letting you on dry," Enigma produced a clarity, opened it, and poured some on his member. He proceeded to stroke himself, growling, "Shit, I haven't done it forever..."
"Oh, hehe," Rubick climbed on top of Enigma, easing himself onto him, "Oh... Ah! You're going to stretch me out, Enigma..."
"You're so tight, Rubick..." Enigma grabbed Rubick and started to push him down, while the grand magus bounced on him.
"Y-you're so thick...!" He planted his hands on him. He went on to let out breathy moans as Enigma hissed.
Both were in the throes of ecstasy, letting out whatever they held back in matches culminating before.
...
Nigel laid back in the Radiant fountain, eyes closed, with a moist towel on his head. Looking left and right, he reached for the radio, turning up Rammstein's Du Hast to full volume. He closed his eyes and laid back again.
...
"Wait, Rubes," Enigma panted, gripping the grand magus close to him.
"Hm?" Rubick seemed confused, until he felt the ground. He started to feel Enigma's shoulders with his ankles. Enigma clutched his hips, easing himself further into the grand magus. "Haaaanh," He let out a delighted breathy moan as he gripped the grass beneath him.
"Hard to believe you aren't done yet," Enigma exhaled, thrusting into him again.
"Same to you!" He screamed in reply, "Oh goodness, don't stop! I've always want it inside me!" Enigma pumped harder and more frequently now, making him continuously moan and groan.
"I'm kinda liking this new freaky Rubick!"
"You have no idea how much I've held back... Mnnnh!" He exploded, feeling his juices dribble on his robes and on Enigma's face.
"Never knew you'd make this much!" Enigma wiped some off his face, "Oh course you'd be still hard." Rubick was still hard and throbbing.
"I have more where that came from, you want to challenge me?" The grand magus seductively purred, eyes scanning Enigma up and down, "I've still got a long way to go before I'm done!"
"You got it, Rubes!" Enigma went thrusting in again. His hands held his ankles in a vice grip, as he felt the clarity flow on his shaft.
"Shit!" Rubick hissed.
"Fuck!" He noted how tight he was again.
"Shit!"
"Fuck!"
"Shit!"
"Fuck!"
"Oh, oh fuck!"
"Shit!"
"Fuck!"
"Shit..."
"Fuck..."
"Shit... I'm-I'm coming again!" Rubick started to release more, but he was still hard.
"Well, then," Enigma gave a swift swat on the hip, "I guess you're in this for the long run, huh, Rubick?"
"That I am," He panted, pushing himself against Enigma's member, "Why did you stop?"
"Hands and knees on the ground, Rubes." He pulled himself out, and pointed to the ground.
"Buuuuut I need it," Rubick whined as he got onto his hands and knees, "Are you going to dominate me, Enigma? Plug that massive cock in and show me what for?"
"If you put it that way, yes," He started to push his member back in, hissing more as he went further, "That's exactly what I'm going to do." Enigma leaned forward onto him, grabbing his wrists and going wild. Rubick began make a strained serious of moans and groans, while Enigma grunted.
"Now this is exactly what I dreamed of!" Rubick gasped.
"Shit, Rubes!" He thrusted even harder, "I think you're rubbing off on me. I'm getting harder listening to you."
"Fuck me, Enigma! Fuck my brains out and punish me for feeding with that cock of yours!"
"Holy shit you're begging me! I never thought I'd live to see the day," He grabbed his hips tighter, causing Rubick to scream at almost every thrust.
"I think I'm finally there..."
"So am I," he grunted.
"I-I I can't..." A strained moan.
"I don't think I can..." Enigma let out a loud, aggressive growl, emptying a few ropes of cum into the grand magus before pulling himself out and falling backwards.
"Enigma-" He let out a high-pitched gasp and then panted as his legs wobbled to the ground, not being able to close them as he came hard all over the ground. Cum seeped from his entrance as he panted heavily.
Enigma pulled Rubick to his side, upright but sleepy from the bliss that came from a true, satisfying orgasm. They both synced their breathing together, exhausted from their expression of love and lust. They held hands, looking at the trees before them.
...
After a while, Enigma helped Rubick put his clothes back on and proceeded to walk out of the camp, hand in hand. Rubick kicked something with his foot. Enigma looked at his foot to see a fully constructed black king bar at his feet.
"What are the chances we have sex and make a black king bar at the same time?" Enigma remarked.
"Only in low priority," Rubick replied.