Spaced Out Monkey
By puritymatters
Previously posted in '02 under my first pseudonym Tarra O'Neal
"Sam! Where's Jack," Daniel asked over-enthusiastically as he walked into her lab.
"I don't know Daniel. Where do you think he is," Sam asked the over-caffeinated archeologist.
Beep, beep, beep.
"What is that, Sam," Daniel asked jumping up and down.
Beep, beep, beep.
"It's the phone, Daniel," she said looking around for something to smack him with.
Beep, beep, beep.
"Are you going to answer it, Sam," Daniel asked running around in circles.
"Hold on to your boxers, Daniel," she said under her breath.
Sam pushed the button on the speakerphone. The voice of an all too familiar foe appeared on the line.
"Good evening Major Carter. Still with the SGC, I see. Any chance it will be over soon," Maybourne laughed eerily.
"What do you want Maybourne," Sam voiced through clenched teeth. It wasn't because of Maybourne, it was because Daniel was bouncing off the walls behind her.
"I just called to inform you of the whereabouts of your precious Colonel. It seems he tried to call your cell phone, but couldn't get through. SO he called me to call you. It seems he went caving with Teal'c and he got lost in the cave and he couldn't get out. Just thought I'd let you know," Maybourne said, a leering grin in his voice.
"Thanks for the tip Maybourne. I owe you one," Sam said already feeling the anger building.
The phone disconnected, as Sam turned around to face Daniel. Her hands were clenching at her sides.
"Hand it over Daniel," Sam insisted with her hand outstretched.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Sam?" Daniel said hopping on the balls of his feet.
Sam descended on Daniel until she was but an inch from him. "GIVE...ME...THE...PHONE."
Daniel, still bouncing on his feet just smiled.
That's it, I can't take it anymore.
Sam drew back her arm slammed her fist into his boyishly soft face. Daniel landed in a heap on the floor.
Sam stood over him and smiled satisfyingly. Man, that felt good!
She reached down and pulled her phone free of Daniel's shirt pocket. She was going to have to have a talk
Dr. MacKenzie again, about increasing his Prozac or something. This was happening way too often.
Sam stalked out of the SGC. As she came to the parking lot she saw Daniel's sweet red Mustang Hmmm. She always did want to drive it but he never would let her. Now was as good a time as any...maybe she could get MacKenzie to declare him insane right after she got him to make out a living will. Hmmmm...
Hotwiring it in a matter of minutes, she sped out of the parking lot in a blur of motion.
She called Jack's cell phone to get directions to the cave he was stuck in. She pulled up to the cave shortly thereafter.
Pulling out a rope that she found in the trunk, she lowered it down to Jack. She hooked the rope to a tree, so Jack could rig himself in the harness and pull himself up.
When he was on the surface, he confronted Sam.
"Why couldn't I get through your phone?"
"Daniel got a hold of it again, Sir. You know we really need to do something about him. He's getting uncontrollable," she said as Jack claimed shotgun in the spiffy neat Mustang.
"Maybe we could hand him over to the Russians," Jack suggested.
"Nah...they'd probably return him C.O.D," she said.
"Do you think if we relocated the SGC to a different location, he would find us," Jack asked her.
"As hyper as he is I don't think so," she said smiling at his idea.
"Let's do it then. We'll call Hammond to set it up and have him meet us at the new location," he said.
"Great idea, I love how your mind works," she said.
They laughed together as they sped away in Daniel's nifty red Mustang...
THE END