Disclaimer: The characters used in this fic are the sole property of Square-Enix, Tetsuya Nomura, and anyone else with copyright on the Final Fantasy series. I own nothing, save it be my own plot ideas and original characters.

Senseless Entertainment

A/N: This is another Final Fantasy X oneshot. Only this time, it's centered around seven-year-old Tidus and his life once Auron becomes a part of it.


The soft pitter patter of feet echoed loudly throughout the house as young Tidus ran through the front door, not bothering to stop to take his shoes off. His blue eyes were wide with excitement as the boy planted his tiny seven-year-old body on the couch in front of the sphere. With the swift click of a button, the light within the sphere came on, projecting the boy's favorite afternoon cartoon show, "Cactuar Craze."

As the addicting little theme song began to play, Tidus began singing along as loudly as he could, failing to remember that he wasn't the only person in the house at the time. The boy jumped when he heard something break from one of the back rooms. He hopped off the couch, poking his blond head around the corner to get a good view of the hallway. So far, everything was clear. His guardian, Auron, was nowhere in sight.

Tidus crept down the hallway, trying to keep his shoes from squeaking against the floor with each step he took. Another sound reached his small ears, and Tidus inched his way to the door. Taking a deep breath, he poked his head inside, only to discover that no one, save the cat that he had found outside the house the day before, was in the room. He breathed a sigh of relief. The boy had feared that his guardian might, as he usually did, try to make conversation with him by asking about his day at school. Fortunately for Tidus, it seemed that that wasn't going to happen today.

He turned around, a wide grin on his little face as he marched himself back to the front room. But when he turned the corner, his little heart sank. Auron was standing in the middle of the room, staring silently at the sphere. Auron turned around, having heard Tidus sigh.

"What is this?" the guardian asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tidus sighed and rolled his eyes, walking over to grab the remote from Auron's hand. "Nothing you'd care about," the boy replied sourly. "Now go away."

A forced laugh from his guardian was all it took for Tidus to realize that the older man thought his words funny. And Tidus, being an unruly seven-year-old boy, would not be having any of that. The child scowled, glancing up at Auron, who stood staring at the sphere, a slight smirk on his face as the animated characters began quarreling with one another. Young Tidus, who frankly hated the idea of Auron raising him now that his mother had passed on, twisted his face up even more, fearing that his guardian was laughing at him.

Tidus stood up, his blue eyes hard with anger as he approached Auron. The older man didn't even bother to look down until the boy was poking him in the side with the remote.

"I have to ask you something," the child said, the gears within his devious little mind turning behind his innocent face.

Auron simply nodded. "What is it?"

Trying not to laugh, Tidus, who knew the answer to his own question, opened his mouth. "What does 'fuck' mean?" As the words left his mouth, Tidus found great pleasure in watching Auron's shocked expression.

The older man blinked a few times before crouching down to Tidus's level. "Where did you hear that?" he said, a slight waver in his voice.

Having failed to think his plan completely through, the blond pointed mutely at the sphere that was still glowing as the show continued. "I heard it on the sphere," he said plainly.

Auron sighed, gently taking the remote from the hands of the boy. He turned, silently pressing the button that would immobilize the moving characters on the sphere. "You don't say things like that," he said, holding the remote out of Tidus's reach as the child attempted to take it back. "And you're not to watch that show anymore," he added.

Tidus's eyes widened. What would he do if he couldn't watch "Cactuar Craze"? What did Auron expect him to do each day after school? Read a book? Tidus clenched his little fists and stomped on the floor. He wouldn't have any of this. The child scowled bitterly as he watched Auron place the remote on top of the refrigerator.

"You can't do this to me!" he shouted, grabbing Auron's pant leg. "You just can't!"

The older man gently pushed the boy away as he rummaged through the refigerator. "Of course I can," he said matter-of-factly. "I'm the adult here, and you're the child. Therefore, I reserve the right to tell you what you may and may not do."

"What?" Tidus scratched his head, momentarily forgetting about his pent-up frustration at the man as he tried to contemplate Auron's words. "I don't get it!"

Auron turned, crouching down to Tidus's level once again. "Think of it this way: I'm in charge, and you're not. You do as I tell you, or you suffer the consequences. Now," he stood up, pointing Tidus towards his backpack that lay on the floor. "Go do your homework."

Tidus rolled his eyes and sighed, realizing that he had been beaten at his own game. "I hate you," he muttered over his shoulder.

Auron simply grinned as he began filling up the coffee maker. "I know," he replied with a smirk. "And I hate senseless entertainment."


This was very fun to write. And it's only natural for children to concoct some "genius" plan, only to have it blow up in their face. XD Oh, I remember those days.