Even Captains, Can't Do It Alone, a star trek: 2009 fanfic

A/N: Hey party people's! So. I totally haven't written the final chapter to Severed Ties yet. Because this has been sitting on my computer begging me to finish. I will be getting back to that multi-chaptered story ASAP. So here's a nice one-shot in the meantime. Dunno if this fits with Severed Ties, yet…Also I tweaked the lyrics to fit the scenario. (just a tiny bit) Would like to thank Banbi-V for being my cheerleader and helping me through this. Love ya lots hun! And for Vulcancheesecake. She challenged me to write more. So I did. Love you too Darlin'.

Warning: Tis slash as usual. Not much just some good ol' fashion rutting still M for safety issues.

Disclaimer: If I owned Star Trek it'd be a mess…a hot mess, but a mess nonetheless, don't own the music lyrics included in this one-shot either.

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Even Captain's Can't Do It Alone

Kirk walked into the room as if he owned the place. He was out of fleet regulated attire and it was time to unwind.

The Narada incident that the Enterprise and her crew had endured was hell. Deciding it was for the better now that it was over he took everyone out to a local club he hadn't been banned from…yet.

The infamous Captain had downed so many drinks already he didn't know which way was up. Drowning out his mind with alcohol wasn't something that was entirely new to him.

Not like anyone was around to regulate his intake anyways.

Bones had snuck off with some blonde. Spock had probably disappeared somewhere to avoid these activities that would be deemed 'most illogical.' Scotty may have already been smitten with a bottle of scotch and only the heavens knew where Chekov and Sulu had run off to.

The mentioning of Spock made certain images of his First appear in his brain.

He took another shot.

Still there.

Another shot.

Fucking hell!

Maybe one more.

This had been happening quite often as of late.

Many thoughts would sneak into his brain and he wasn't sure whether to listen to them. Hence why they were being silenced- if only momentarily-with booze.

Why in the world he desired such things (or such a person) perplexed him. In the past week he had been put into too many life and death situations which in turn made him reevaluate where he was right now. He'd rather not think about any of it at the moment.

With that in mind he shot back another drink, warming the back of his throat as it slid down into his gut and then proceeded to the dance floor.

***

Spock seriously did not understand the point of being here. Why the Captain would choose such a spot to "unwind" was beyond illogical. If anything it screamed "wound up" with everybody bopping to the fast paced, obscenely loud, vulgar music. There was nothing that was relaxing.

So why was he still here?

Glancing over to a circle of crew members that had made way for the Captain, his eyes lingered on Kirk's toned body as it swayed with the beat, his hips weaving rhythmically. And no, Spock wouldn't know this because he was not staring.

To be honest, he was oddly fascinated in observing the interactions amongst the humans that mingled here.

As Jim would generally say, that was a load of "bullshit."

Letting out a small huff of air he went back to his "observations" almost becoming entranced by the inebriated Captain and his hypnotic movements while a singer took the stage.

Oh God, God, he's really done it now,
Coked up, his body's all spun around,
Oh yeah, yeah, he's really done it,
And seein' him just isn't something I can stomach,

The Captain smiled at a scantily clad girl that could only be identified as a definite booty call. She gave a Cheshire grin back as if she was a predator, preying on the weak. The weak, meaning Jim. Being that Jim was a fairly strong man this was saying something. Except for the fact that he was most vulnerable while intoxicated.

Spock watched the exchange, noting that the woman in a matter of minutes had her back pressed to Jim's front, a hand wrapping around his neck, blunt nails at the nape.

That was until a man that appeared to have some sort of relationship with the viper yanked her away and began to invade the Captain's personal space. The unnamed threat had a rather bulky build for someone of his stature.

This didn't look good.

It began with heady words spraying into the Captain's face, which in turn, had Jim shove a finger in the guy's chest shouting back, the veins in his neck enlarging.

The girl watched it all with a sadistic smile.

Back it up, back it up,
If you're talkin' shit to me,

The next move was a shove to Jim's shoulder causing him to stagger back. He retaliated with a blow to the guys jaw making it crack loudly, even with the music blaring.

Smack it up, smack it up,
If you act a bitch to me,

Deciding enough was enough the Vulcan stepped in as the guy went to grab the collar of Jim's shirt, smacking his hand out of the way and giving him an even look which was the equivalent of a Vulcan glare.

Stack it up, stack it up,
If you fuckin' rich as me,
My daddy owns a dealership,
The rest is fuckin' history

"I suggest you do not lay another hand on my Captain or you shall face the consequences," He said in a low tenor that was dangerous, threatening, and oddly alluring to Jim's human ears.

With a grunt the guy left carting off the woman as well. He knew well enough not to mess with a Vulcan.

Spock had turned to ask the Captain what in his right mind made him think this facility was best for relaxation when he spotted Kirk frowning and mumbling as he walked away. With a small huff Spock followed him.

This ain't a love song (oh no),
This ain't a broken heart homie singin' only 'cause he's lonely,

Turns out he was heading back to the bar. Before Spock arrived he had already consumed a few more shots of hard liquor. The bitter burning taste as it slid down his throat was comforting, but he was still lonely. That thought made his eyes widen and shake his head.

James T. Kirk was not lonely. He could have any woman he pleased, had bedded many already, he was never lonely.

But he was.

As there was a shift in movement, the stool next to him scraped across the floor and was occupied by his First officer.

He looked over at him and he must have been drunk because Spock was looking pretty damn tempting right now.

That twinkle of annoyance in his dark eyes as he stared back and his dark hair and orbs standing out against his pale olive toned complexion.

Jim twisted his lips in a grimace before calling for another drink.

No.

He would not think of Spock like that.

Not like he'd ever return the feelings, with that he took another long swig, adam's apple bobbing with the motion.

This ain't a love song (oh, no, no, no),
This ain't a whiskey-drowned ballad,
There ain't nothing here that's valid,

The Vulcan was becoming quite concerned with how much the Captain was drinking, alcohol in itself was poison but consuming such a large quantity made it worse.

He was about to speak up when Jim looked over at him with slight glassy eyes. He could hold his liquor unlike most, and was only feeling the beginnings of the effects it had on his body.

This didn't speak for what little control he had over his regular old impulses.

He acted on one of these said spur of the moment actions faster than the pistons in his brain as he laid his head on Spock's shoulder and sighed.

He drew random shapes with his finger on the bar top as Spock's eyes widened slightly from the close contact.

Kirk's body against his warmer one was unexpected. The Captain's normally sunny disposition was clouded by the somber look on his face.

The corners of Spock's mouth quirked downward for a second as the clingy Captain looked up at him, his blue eyes looking like they thought of rain.

As much as he wanted to remove him his human half wanted him to stay right there.

In fact, he wanted to pull him closer.

"Spock," he rasped before snuggling closer, his First Officer glanced at him.

Knowing he had his full attention he swallowed hard and continued.

"I- what I said…I'm sorry. W\What I did was because I had to. I d-don't really think that of you. I;ve never been able to tell you how truly sorry I am. Right now I…I'm just so tired."

Jim's words didn't help and only added fuel to the steady growing wildfire in the pit of the hybrid's stomach.

Their animosity towards each other was snuffed out with the fragmented sentences.

"What do you need?" Spock asked lowly, close to Kirk's ear so his words didn't drown in the sea of music still blaring.

Jim returned the whisper, his brows furrowed with determination to get his words straight. It was a rather cute look as he worked his mouth.

"I need to get outta' here. Stop bein' haunted by the ghosts of my past. Need someone to pick up the pieces because I just can't right now. And dammit I need you."

So much feeling in the words Spock thought his heart momentarily stopped in his side.

Wasn't helping when Kirk pulled his First's head towards his hot parted lips as they brushed along the shell of his ear making him shudder.

"Tell me you can do that?" He asked desperately, still breathing heavily into the erogenous organ.

So tell me baby, pretty baby, that

this house is not a graveyard,
Tell me how to stay strong and carry you home,

Over corpses of his long-lost fathers and their unborn daughters,
God dammit, I can't do it alone

He slowly pulled his head away and licked his lips as he stared at the dark brown black pools that were Spock's eyes. Jim reached out hesitantly before placing his hand over one of the Vulcan's.

I can't do it alone,

Spock was the one that involuntarily swallowed observing all of Kirk's actions and analyzing every small and individual piece wondering where it would lead them.

I can't do it alone,

In other words, he just needed to stop thinking.

Illogical.

No, I can't do it alone

Instead he complied to his Captain's…Jim's orders taking his arm and sliding it around his shoulders hands briefly touching and his cheeks heated a chartreuse green instantly.

Kirk mumbled a sorry under his breath but Spock gave a short shake of his head.

"Do not concern yourself." He answered back in an oddly smooth voice despite the knot in his stomach.

Damn, why was everything about him just exuding sex tonight?

The lights in the warehouse turned club weren't helping either as the different tints wreaked havoc on his face and highlighted all of his best features.

His ears were a sharp line, green at the tips. Lips looking lush and petal soft. Not to mention the fact Jim was so close, his breath was hitting a green cheek and was not aiding in this affair either.

Just as Kirk's mind was thinking of sexing up his first officer rather than focusing on his motor skills he tripped over his own feet, alcohol taking advantage of the normally suave Captain.

Spock easily hefted him closer, sides pressed together where Jim could hear the murmur's of a heart beat as they pulsed in sink with the music.

The Vulcan lifted a quizzical brow at Kirk.

Oh no, no, I'm not impressed with you,
Pink drinks that seem to get the best of you,

Jim swayed again but warm arms wrapped around him splaying against his flank making him shudder.

Spock had been guiding them towards the back while Jim's brain went out of commission.

The normally composed Captain's body was now fully aware of how warm and close his Vulcan First was and he just quite frankly couldn't stand it.

His heart beat sped up and his thoughts were uncontrollable. They could not be drowned in intoxicating beverages no matter how hard he tried.

It was late and Jim had half a brain while being carried by a sexy, lean, muscular, entrancing Vulcan.

In other words…

Fuck it.

Before Spock could protest he was taken by surprise as Jim pulled him close, their bodies connecting on a different level.

The young, brash Captain had the inhumanly strong Vulcan up against the wall as his pink lips closed over his own.

His mouth was pried open almost welcomingly as Jim's wet tongue slid against his effectively cutting off his logical brain.

Rock late and sleep until the sun sets,
I'd talk but you took the tongue I talk with

Jim hands grabbed Spock by the hips his kisses relentless.

He traced every contour and crevice of Spock's mouth, the Vulcan reciprocating in turn, the slight burn of the alcohol on his own sensitive tongue.

They had finally done it.

Both had wanted this.

Why pass up a golden opportunity?

There weren't words, but there was language of the body sort.

There weren't whispered endearments, but gasps for air before returning to stealing breath out of lung cavities.

The kisses mirrored each other, challenging the other to go one step further.

It was perfect.

Back it up, back it up,
If you talkin' shit to me,

Spock's eyes burned with a fierce hunger. His face was otherwise free of emotion as he pulled away for a breath of air.

Jim's cheeks were painted a dark pink that complimented his abused lips quite nicely. Stroking Jim's index and middle fingers with his own he gave a slight tremor.

Jim felt an electric current jolt up his arm from the simple touch. He arched his body into Spock, the muscle between his legs swelling further.

Long arms wrapped around his torso before gripping tightly and flipping positions.

Jim was now against the wall as his head hit it with a soft thud.

His blue eyes were electric in the lighting as they were blown out, pupils dilated to a small rim of blue around the outside.

The needy human tangled their legs and was practically sitting on one of Spock's thighs as he shamelessly rubbed against it.

The Vulcan's lips quirked, accompanying his pointed ears in a way that made his looks rather devilish.

He doubled his grip on Kirk's hips as he brought their erections together and ground down against him releasing a low groan in the captain's ear.

Smack it up, smack it up,
If you act a bitch to me,

Jim's heart raced as he suddenly was hit with a wave nausea.

He fought it off and tried to keep the feeling of how together and close he and Spock were.

So close.

The second wave of sickness rolled through his system making him double over slightly.

Spock's keen Vulcan eyes caught sight.

As much as he wanted this, he shouldn't be taking advantage of his captain. Especially in such a state where he would not remember what transpired, or may not even fully want it.

It was not right.

It was not… logical.

His grip went slack and he untangled their legs. Jim's eyes widened before drifting back to half-mast.

He let out a defeated sigh and looked at the ground sullenly not able to meet his first's gaze.

They resumed their original positions and continued past the doors into the cool night air of the open grounds they walked on.

Stack it up, stack it up,
If you fuckin' rich as me,
My daddy owns a dealership,
The rest is fuckin' history

Jim tried to look anywhere but at the man, that was holding him close.

Not in the way he wanted to be held.

Who was looking after him.

Because it was an obligation.

Seems it was just the lust and the booze talkin' even if he wanted something more.

This ain't a love song (oh no),
This ain't a broken heart homie singin' only 'cause he's lonely,

They were at a park nearby and were close to their old dorm housing since they were in San-Fran, the cold night air chilling Jim's heated and clammy skin.

He shivered from the weather and even through his drunken stupor was hoping Spock wasn't cold in such weather.

Just as he thought this, the Vulcan gave a small-very repressed- shudder from the night air chill.

"Here," Jim said lowly.

He moved to face Spock and wrapped his arms around him. Rubbing his back hoping the friction would add heat.

Spock only slightly hesitated in thought before mirroring the actions for a small moment.

The only sound heard was the rustle of clothes being warmed and crickets chirping somewhere in the grass.

After a moment, the two stopped shaking. Spock went to pull Jim close to his side again-merely for heating purposes mind you- until Jim pushed away and ran towards the edge of the cracked sidewalk only to wretch in the grass.

Alarmed, the Vulcan walked over to him rather quickly to support his Captain.

One of his hands found its way into the blonde's hair and the other against his back.

This ain't a love song (oh, no, no, no),
This ain't a whiskey-drowned ballad,
There ain't nothing here that's valid,

Another heave as muscles tensed and strained under the casual fabric.

A warm hand was still pressed to his back, soothing circles rubbed onto it-probably something Spock picked up from observation- and a hand carded through his cornfield blonde lockes-again the Vulcan was only copying, not like these things actually meant something-although Jim desperately wanted to believe otherwise.

After he was finished dispelling the contents in his stomach, he panted for air hands still clutching the cracked edge of the old cement and blinking back the tears that blurred his vision.

Kirk slowly rose to his feet with the aid of Spock's warm, steady arms. He wanted to fall into them as much as he wanted cringe away.

So many conflicting emotions flashed behind his bright blue eyes.

Spock became concerned again, as he looked at Jim's normally smiling face as his lips were held in repressing line, trying to bite back the emotions that churned in his eyes.

There was something about him…

He was drawn toward this man like a bug to a luminous flame.

Except Jim was the sun.

If Spock weren't careful, he'd be burned.

The young man walked across the way to the fountain to rinse his bile-stricken mouth out before returning simply to stand in front of the Vulcan.

Jim was intent on trying to read his composed mask of neutrality.

However, the dark eyes told all.

Time passed them by as they shared the quiet of the evening.

Jim's head was dizzy and was thrown off kilter he fell only to be caught again this time hands brushed together as arms were wrapped around his waist.

His lean back hit the warm front of Spock's chest.

He answered the brash Captain's question from back at the bar after giving it much thought, "I am uncertain if I can provide for you and fulfill your needs."

Spock had no idea what he was doing. He knew there could never be a monogamous relationship with the Captain.

So why was he trying so hard?

Why did he start feeing the need to be re-assured by the strong, handsome, young man?

That was illogical.

Jim tried to do the brow thing that Spock and Bones had down pat but it just made him look confused more than anything.

Spock's lips made a short quirk at the corners.

Giving in to temptation and not caring now he leaned into Spock and tipped his head back onto a strong shoulder, shocked it was even allowed.

"What is our next plan of action, Jim?" the use of his first name made his eyes widen and his heart clench and he'd be damned if this was only a dream.

"M-My quarters?" he stuttered, unsure.

"If that is your…desire."

Spock was gonna' settle the blonde-haired man against his side again so they could walk, but was interrupted.

"It's not." Jim blurted out as his cheeks took on a rosy pink from more than just the alcohol he had consumed.

Spock waited knowing the young man had more to say.

He always did.

"Wh-what I mean is- yeah I wanna' go back to my quarters, but this…dammit Spock. I just…"

His chin was grasped firmly in the warm-blooded hand making his breath catch.

"What is it Jim?" He asked with sincerity infused in his dark eyes and his normally stony tone.

The use of his name again instead of rank about did it for him. Turning around he leaned forward to press their lips together.

The kiss was sweet and tender, and thank the cosmos Jim washed his mouth out at the fountain.

They pulled away and it was as if Spock transferred courage through the touch of their lips. He brushed his along his Captain's only once before allowing him to speak again.

"Can we give this a try? This thing we have…I know I'm not the only one that feels it. You don't even have to stay with me…I just wanna' give us a shot yanno?"

Spock nodded in affirmation. "I am willing to try…"

"But?"

"This is illogical but I feel as though I need reassurance of my own from you." He answered looking down and not meeting the electric blues.

His head was pulled towards Kirk's again for another slow kiss, soft and soothing like cool water on his lips.

It was what he needed as well.

So tell me baby, pretty baby, that this house is not a graveyard,
Tell me how to stay strong and carry you home,
Over corpses of his long-lost fathers and their unborn daughters,
God dammit, I can't do it alone

The kiss deepened as both men closed their eyes and lips parted, still not holding a fiery edge, but a much quieter hunger burned in their stomachs.

I can't do it alone,

Kirk's hand found its way into Spock's hair tangling it in his fingers as his other arm wrapped around the Vulcan's slender hips.

They bother desperately needed this. Someone to care for and look after the other being through so much.

I can't do it alone,

They were so alike if they looked past the physiological aspects. They shared the same breath as they memorized the feel of the other's mouth. Hands exploring every inch of skin possible.

No, I can't do it alone

Again, they broke away breathlessly. Jim panted for air and rested his head on Spock's shoulder, as the Vulcan's breathing was actually rather ragged for him.

He stole a Vulcan kiss from the knowing Captain before placing a hand on the back of Jim's head to stroke his hair.

Jim's body wracked with shakes as he tried to stifle unknown sobs that hit him out of the blue.

His eyes widened as he gasped for air.

Spock held tighter. Brows furrowed but he somehow understood.

The reason why Jim had brought the crew to the rowdy club was so he could lose himself and drown out the pain of the all too recent Narada incident.

None of the crew had proper time to get things in order before taking off into space with their new young Captain. It all happened in a mere wink of an eye.

The weight of Kirk's world came crashing down on his shoulders as he tried to quiet his none too sober cries.

It was the booze of course.

Yeah.

The alcohol he already dispelled.

Spock continued to stroke his hair and laid a sweet kiss to a temple as he damned Nero's existence for both their sakes.

I can call you out and complain the rain is worse,
But it's that much better if I blame it on a person,

Jim's cries slowly quieted as his tears stained Spock's uniform. Sniffling and trying to get his breathing under control for a different reason.

He leaned back to look at the Vulcan and laid his head against the greener, warmer one and sighed.

"Thank you," he whispered as thunder roared in the distance in the grey area of night.

Lightning gave a luminous crack through the night and lit up Kirk's electric sky blues as they danced with energy and feeling, a warmth that made Spock's breath catch in his throat.

He sealed his lips over Spock's in another kiss trying to convey his gratefulness. A thumb came up to wipe away and smear the tracks the tears left behind, as another thunderous sound echoed through the mountains.

Both invested in the other and while they kissed neither seemed to notice the rain as a few more stray tears feel from Kirk's eyes and they mingled with sky's own tears.

I can call you out and complain the rain is worse,
But it's that much better if I blame it on a person

Spock lifted his head up to the sky and then brought his face back to Kirk's attention as the Captain gave a laugh that was thick in his throat.

"Oh the irony" he breathed pulling the back of his First's neck so their heads rested together.

He closed his eyes, thick lashes fanned against his cheeks, which were heavy with clinging raindrops and tears.

It was a remarkable sight, an emotional crying captain looking like he belonged with the Earth. The water looking so natural as it clung to his skin.

Jim gave a breathy sigh that was soft and quiet; it almost was lost in the sound of the rain.

Spock seemed to like the sound of the Captain's breathing and the different noises he made which further animated him.

"We should probably head back now." he let out not really wanting to leave the rain.

Spock looked at him again desiring the affirmation to move.

Jim slowly moved his hand, palm flat against Spock's arm until it reached the Vulcan's green tinged hand and he clasped it in his own, twining their finger together.

The jolt more recognizable without the haze of booze that it was emotions.

Spock's emotions.

The ones he actually had.

He couldn't help but bring the hand to his lips and kiss each pad of each finger and making the Vulcan shudder before giving a nod and falling into his rightful place by Spock's side.

That was all the confirmation he needed to move.

They reached Jim's room in the visitor section of the academy. With a stifled yawn, the blonde rattled off the code for entrance.

The door swished shut behind them and Jim reluctantly left Spock's side to flop onto the bed.

With a repressed sigh, his First Officer moved to his side to remove the captain's soppy attire that had been drenched in rainwater.

He moved to leave when a hand grabbed his.

"No." Kirk muffled into the pillow before removing his head to look into deep brown eyes.

He stroked the back of Spock's hand.

"Stay?" He posed as a question before continuing rubbing his thumb along the back of the hand as he took a breath.

"I want you here…with me. No-No sex or anything! J-just…" his cheeks heated up and Spock patiently waited.

"Tell me." he demanded softly, squeezing the hand that held his.

"Will you hold me?" Jim asked finally meeting the dark gaze.

Spock stepped back for a second as momentary panic set into Kirk's chest.

He dispelled his wet attire before slipping under the covers with Jim.

Facing each other, he pulled Jim close by the small of his back, body chilled from the rain and placed a soft chaste kiss to his lips.

Jim breathed a sigh of relief as long fingers found their way into his hair.

The warmth of Spock's skin and his gentle touch lulled him to an easier sleep. Hopefully there wouldn't be any nightmares tonight.

It was at this moment that Spock's lips kissed Jim's temple and a spark shocked him.

It was familiar but alien.

Something he should have known and almost made him break out into a pearly white grin.

He refrained and quirked his lips instead.

Settling down with Jim against his chest now knowing that this was inevitable and bound to happen.

This was their fate.

"Goodnight T'hy'la," Spock whispered.

His Captain would come to know the name in time.

And would never have to go through anything alone.

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A/N: cheesy? Crap-tastic? I had to go there. Hope you enjoyed. Love Ya'll! Reviews would let me know you love me back. ;)