A/N: Why hello there! This random angsty seddie drabble came to me after listening to this song in a long car ride. With the thoughts of an epic upcoming 4th season (JULY 30th!) It immediately made me think Seddie, and i sat and typed out half of this oneshot on my blackberry. After the re-type onto here, I like it a bit better, but i'm not too pleased with the ending. (But i'll let you guys be the judges of that!) Be kind, its my first ever songfic.

- I do not own iCarly & its characters, or "I Love The Way You Lie", thats Dan Schneider & Eminem/Rhianna

I told him.

I conspicuously followed him out at the fire escape and told him how I felt, let my walls down for a few seconds, told him that he made me laugh and was my best guy friend, my newfound protector against any verbal attacks.

Finally, finally I got to have him on the same frequency as me.

It was as if it was a dream when he wrapped his arms around me, told me he felt the same, kissed me, and promised that he would be there for me, no matter what.

Of course, til Mrs. Benson walked by the window and tweaked of our safety, let alone asking if I carried 'diseases' and chased me away by not applying cootie repellant.

Yet, my heart was overjoyed and my mind was racing as I stepped out of Bushwell Plaza that day.

(I would say "I feel like I'm on cloud 9", but I have a feeling that Mrs. Benson would show up again, running after me with cloud block.)

School, my least favorite place, soon gave form to the idea of the downfall of my happiness.

It was just average, dull, monotonous routine that we went through day in and out. I got a few glances at Freddie and I even noticed him checking me out a few times, a smile evident on his face.

Later on, we're at our lockers, I'm talking to Carly, going over the webshow itinerary and she looks… distracted.

"Sam," she pleads, "I need to chick talk with you."

I roll my eyes. "Do I look like one of those fuzzy things that were set loose in the apartment and Benson almost killed?"

"Seriously Sam. I'm being legit here." Legit was her favorite word, courtesy of reviewing a fanmade video. She uses it in every conversation she possibly can.

"Okaayyy then, speak, woman!"

"I'!"

No, it wasn't all jumbled and fast-like, but the way the words hit me, I felt that it coursed through my body in shock at rapid speed.

I didn't have to open up my mouth to ask the obvious, "why?"

"He's no foreign bacon, Sam. I'm not ignoring it this time; I like him, no matter what you might say to talk me out of this."

At this point, I don't trust my voice, and I just nod to confirm it.

I dreaded showing up at Carly's apartment that evening, but I couldn't help but show up. My best friend needed me… and maybe Freddie would turn her down softly; he already showed he has feelings for me. (Why was a feeling this tugging feeling of doubt?)

When I walked through that door, I was cheery and every-other-day like. Carly and I examined our hair and clothing seconds before airtime, and I could've sworn I saw Freddie wink at me.

"Now on iCarly, we have something a bit off our original agenda. It doesn't quite matter seeing as you all have gotten used to the random bits of drama that goes on with our real lives, like the one time when –" I elbowed her in the stomach, "right, I'm rambling."

Freddie looks up from his laptop and mouths 'what's going on?' At this point, I'm showing a deepening interest in a crack in the floorboards.

"Freddie, get over here!" I see him switch cameras, and he squeezes his way between us.

Ironic.

Now, I concentrate my mind on a song, any song to avoid listening to what Freddie is hearing from my best friend. "Used to ask me everyday… I regret never giving you the chance… It took a heroic accident to open my eyes…No bacon to me… No more holding back."

I look up, finally facing them.

This is it.

"Freddie, I guess what I'm trying to say is… will you go out with me?"

Taking in his expression, I knew.

"Yes, Carly! I wouldn't have it any other way."

I can't tell you what it really is; I can only tell you what it feels like;

And right now, it's a steel knife in my windpipe.

"Well, there you have it folks. iCarly turned all mushy for this host and her tech geek pet. ("BOYFRIEND!") We're going to show you guys this week's favorite videos we received and reviewed, unless you'd rather watch these two make-out for the rest of the time. Enjoy, and please do not try this at home." By the end of the statement, my voice was flat, dead of emotion, and a painful smile I had plastered on for the viewers sake had diminished.

I type in the laptop commands, something Freddie bothered to teach me a while back, let the microphones cut and the video play on.

They were completely absorbed in each other to pay attention, and I just shut my eyes tight, attempting to get Freddie's contradicting words out of my head.

"Smoothie run. Be safe." I say, and sprint down the steps, taking two at a time.

By the time I entered the Groovy Smoothie, it seemed like there was only a few people around, so it wasn't a big deal when I was yelling "T-BO! Smoothie me!" In two seconds flat, I had a smoothie in my hand and was offered some enchiladas on a stick. Typical.

I sat there, closing my eyes and let it sink in. Carly and Freddie were dating. How could I not have let this happen? I should've told Carly how I felt about him. I should have taken incentive and asked what 'we' were when I poured my heart out to him. Now, I hardly have a heart to give. It aches, and leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth, outside of the sour smoothie T-Bo had knowingly given me. It tastes like melancholy.

As I feel out of place due to the lack of friends around me, I exit the shop and my feet are soon betraying me. I'm back inside the lobby of the Bushwell Plaza, getting growled at (like a puppy, not even a dog) by Lewbert.

I take the steps slowly, not knowing which place I'm headed into.

In my next conscious thought, I was staring out in the dark sky on the fire escape.

"You shouldn't be here." I hear a deep voice behind me, and I don't bother turning around.

"Freddie." I state, not knowing a word of what to say.

He walks over, standing next to me, looking only at the skyline.

"You left the show quick."

"No shit, dipthong. Do you honestly believe I WANT to hang around the two of you?"

My anger, my confusion, my disappointment seethed through me.

"I don't get it. You promised." My voice betrayed me, sounding small and upset.

"Things change, Sam."

"What? You told me that you had the same feelings as me DAYS ago."

"Yeah, but that was when I didn't know Carly cared about me. I've always been in love with her, Sam. You know that."

"So you're going to just forget everything I told you? The way I put my heart on my sleeve like that?" I could feel myself sinking.

"Things are going to change, yeah. But Sam, you need to quit being so jealous of Carly."

I swiveled around on my heel, I needed to get out of here. I turned towards the window.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving."

"NO. We're not finished talking! Quit chickening out of this Sam."

Wait. Where ya going?

I'm leaving you.

No ya ain't.

"What, Freddie? What's so damn important that you can't hurry up and say?"

"One, I've erased the memory of what happened already. You should too. Two, if you don't, and if you tell Carly, I'll lie about it. Because she believes mine better than yours."

"So I guess that's it then? You're going to force Carly into a relationship, and build it up on lies?"

His eyes flashed.

His hand moved in such a fast motion I didn't even see it coming.

I touched my cheek, feeling the stinging pain from where the contact was made.

He hit me.

"Snap out of it, Sam. You and I never belonged together. Carly and I always have." His cold words flew out of his mouth and tore into my heart.

I felt a lump forming in my throat, my eyes were stinging, hands shaking.

"Okay." I said, climbing back through the window

I guess it's why they call it window 'pane'

I was feeling extra masochistic, and I walked up to the iCarly studio.

Abandoned, yet the lights were on. I could hear Spencer and Carly squeeling around downstairs, so I kept my movements to a minimum, so I couldn't make much noise.

I flipped open Freddie's laptop and looked through old iCarly files, seeing how much I teased him. I sat and watched the episode where Carly claimed I 'ruined Freddie's life', which in all actuality, had an end result that was better for the both of us.

It then dawns on me that Carly's probing and prodding of when she found out about the kiss proved she really felt for him. And when he saved her life? I convinced him that Carly was feeling he was foreign bacon, because I didn't want to hear the truth straight from Carly's mouth.

I decided to give up.

The following days, I acted like everything was okay, that I was happy for the couple.

Well, to Carly anyway.

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean,

Now we fall back in the same patter, the same routine

All of my words, actions against him were like they used to be, harsh and pointed.

I wasn't going to just let him get away with this though, that was for sure.

He hurt me. Sure, the physical pain was evident; it hurt just as bad as his words. Freddie meant what he said, or else he wouldn't've followed up with hitting me.

I tried staying away from him, as much as I could. But he wouldn't stay out of my thoughts.

All I know, I love you way too much to walk away though.

Eventually it will fade, it has to. Everything will.

I know to build my walls stronger, higher for no one to get past.

Carly and Freddie?

If Freddie so much as comes near me to talk about anything like we used to, I'm gone. Done with the both of them. It'll suck not having Carly, but it only hurts more seeing them together.

I just don't get how he could treat her like gold, after holding me tight and kissing me like the world was going to end.

Well, in a sense my world ended, while he got the second chance to live.

His head goes down in an instant when he looks at me, without Carly on his arm. He used to be my best friend, he knows how broken I feel, and how I can't take it back.

So now we're back to square one.

Nothing ever changes.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

That's alright because I like the way it hurts.

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?

That's alright because I love the way you lie, love the way you lie.

A/N: I hope you guys liked it! I was super inspired on this, and kept trying to find a possible fanmade seddie vid of this song on youtube, but no luck. If anyone, ANYONE, would do a vid for the song or even this ficlet, i'd be so extremely grateful.

Review Please! Any reviews inspire me further (: