This has been buzzing around in my head for a long, long time. So, I finally just sort of...wrote it.

Rating T: For language, a slight amount of abuse, and self-hate, mostly.

Disclamier (This goes for the entire story): If I owned Kingdom Hearts, I wouldn't be so broke right now *airs out wallet*

Story inspired by Someday by Nina.

Without further ado~

Life just isn't worth it anymore.

I'm tired. Too tired. Too tired of trying so hard only to fail in the end. Too tired of getting pushed around from person to person, trying to make them love me. I try to change; I always try to change myself in a way that will make them love me. But, no matter how hard I try, nothing works out in the end. Life just isn't fucking worth it.

Life isn't worth these tears that I can't stop myself from crying; why am I always the one left crying?! What did I do to deserve this?! wasn't' I always the good child that got straight As? That never talked back? That always tried really hard to be the best friend to everybody, even though I knew they made fun of me when I wasn't around? Wasn't I always that child?

Yes, I was that child. That fucking lonely child. That unloved child. That worthless child. That very same worthless child that grew into a worthless adult that has let them self get treated like dirt for four fucking years.

What is it that I always thought? Oh, yes, I remember. I always thought that things would get better, that I'd find someone who loved me for me. Ha! What a joke. What a fucking joke. My own parents didn't love me! I couldn't be their perfect child! I couldn't be what they wanted! I can't be what anyone wants!

…I'll never be what anyone wants.

I'm too short. Too blunt. Too pale. Too emotionally deprived. Too everything. Why did I even make myself believe for all these years that someone could love me? Why didn't I just end it years ago?

It doesn't even matter. I'll end it now. I've got nothing left anyway. My parents don't give a shit. My boyfriend will just move on to some other little slut. I don't have any friends. Hell, I can face it; no one gives a damn about me.

And, that, that's just fucking fine.

No one wants me here. I don't want me here. I don't have to be here. I don't have to keep trying. I don't have to keep living this useless little existence.

I don't have to exist.

Why should I?

I shouldn't.

With a smile on my face, a genuine smile- the first in so, so many years, I grasp onto a gnarled tree branch, my toes curling as they try to grip onto the one below me. I can feel the wind trying to pull me away, like it wants me to go back to the safety of the tree trunk, but no. no, I won't go back. I won't turn back like I did the last time; I won't talk myself out of this. I'm just so close. Too close. And, this, this is perfect. Everyone will think that I slipped and fell in this rain. No one will ever think that I jumped.

Not that anyone would care one way or the other.

Finally, I reach the branches' edge, my hair whipping wildly around me. The rapids…they look so inviting from my perch fifty feet up. If the fall doesn't kill me, then the rapids will. This will finally be over. My worthless existence will finally be over.

Happy for the very first time, I jump, closing my eyes as my body crashes into the cold, merciless water. Yes, this is how I wanted to go. Someday, I thought I would be loved. Ha. For people like me, someday never comes.