A/N So I just started reading Twilight fanfiction the other day (I'm a Harry Potter gal, personally). I stumbled upon a Jacob/Nessie fic and decided to read it, because I was intrigued by the way their relationship would develop. Then I searched for more fics, and, frankly, found most of them to be awful. I guess I thought I could do better (arrogant much?)- so here it is!
Nessie flew through the woods, pushing her limits, trying to be the best she could be- it hurt sometimes, not being quite as strong or fast as the rest of the coven or even Jake's pack. She tried to keep things in perspective, but there was a fierce competitive streak in her that she supposed she got from her father- her mom certainly didn't have one. She wasn't sure if practice made perfect when it came to a half-vampire's speed, but there was no harm in hurtling through the trees as fast as she possibly could, dodging the branches that cropped up at every millisecond.
She loved to run as much as her dad, so her mom said. The wind in her hair and the feel of her muscles stretching sinuously made her stop thinking about her confusing feelings about her best friend, the way her best friend and family couldn't be in the same room for too long because they couldn't (or wouldn't, she thought fiercely) stand the smell, and how her body and hormones were growing almost too quickly for her emotional maturity. Sure, she was practically a genius thanks to the superhuman vampire wits, but that didn't mean she wasn't overwhelmed by the torrents of feelings that insisted upon crushing her beneath their weight at odd moments. But when she ran, she was free.
Slowing, she curved her path to intercept Jacob's, whose paws she could now hear slapping the ground far to her right. Her excitement, tempered by the freeing emptiness of her mind during the run, returned full blast; it had been nearly two weeks since she had seen Jacob. The pack had followed a couple vampires who had come too close for comfort and taken some liberties with the local human population down to Colorado to eliminate them. Edward had seen that the roving vampires were just a tad too interested in the setup on the Olympic Peninsula- a large, peaceful coven, and two werewolf packs in one state, let alone a peninsula? They didn't take any chances.
Arriving at a clearing, Nessie barreled toward Jake, who had already arrived, transformed, and made himself decent with a pair of shorts, intending to give him a big hug, like always. Instead, she suddenly stopped short, two feet from Jake. The awkwardness that had plagued her around him for the last six months struck again. Damn, she thought to herself. She was around seventeen in appearance, and hormones, now, and she was finding this the hardest age yet to become accustomed to.
Jake either didn't notice or didn't care. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her with a thousand watt smile plastered on. He sighed deeply and rested his chin on her head.
"Hey, Ness," he said, giving her a squeeze with his arms. She squeezed back, as hard as she could. She succeeded in making him grunt with surprise as the air whooshed out of his lungs, then regretted it when he almost cracked her ribs with his anaconda-like squeeze.
"Oww, Jake!" she whined, when he released her. He laughed and she couldn't help but return the smile. He slung his long arm around her shoulder and steered them to a dry patch of ground where the sun shone. Sitting on her knees, she turned to Jake, ready to hear the entire story of their trip. Seeing the sunlight glint in his short hair and his grin become lopsided as usual, her heart thumped and she, once again, tried to deny the fact she was absolutely head over heels for her best friend, who was so much older than her (technically, or not…depending on how you looked at it…oh, it got so confusing sometimes) that he would never return the feelings.
But why does he spend so much time with you? Even when you were so young… Stop it. Fantasies get you nowhere. You know that by now. If it hadn't been so pathetic, she would have laughed at her attempt to be stern- with herself. Instead, she focused on Jake's warm eyes and believed for a second she could just love him the way she was supposed to- as a friend.
Instead of trying to formulate words, she touched his hand with hers, questioning him about his trip. He looked down at their hands, his smile small and comfortable. He told her about how annoying Seth and Leah were, how they almost got stumped by a tricky move by the "vamps", and how it had been pretty easy to take them down.
"Only broke a few ribs- it took ten minutes once we caught them, tops," he said, his grin proud and joking. Nessie smiled with him, but couldn't help but wonder if one day he wouldn't fare so well. Jacob saw the sad turn of her smile and leaned his head down a little; he touched her hand, asking her to show him what was wrong. She let a little of the worry through her palms and into his mind. He frowned.
"Nessie, you know you don't have to worry about me. A few vamps can't take me down- I'm the Alpha, after all." He joked to dismiss her worry, but she wasn't having any of it.
"One day it might not be a few vamps. Maybe someone will hold a grudge and ambush you. Or you'll be caught unawares. Or…something," she finished lamely. "The point is that you never know." She looked toward the sky to avoid his gaze, hoping she sounded more casual about the topic than she felt. What would she do without him? His face softened into a serious expression he rarely let grace features.
"Hey, Ness. You know I'm careful," he said quietly. Having been serious for quite long enough, he smirked just a tiny bit. "I wouldn't risk not being able to tease you whenever possible." She groaned and nudged his shoulder with hers, making him fall over.
"Ness- quit abusing me. I have three freshly healed ribs!" he exclaimed. Apparently deciding on the appropriate revenge, he proceeded to attempt to crack her ribs via tickling. Using her superior agility (at least while he was in human form), she wiggled from under him and ran away as fast as she could. She circled the clearing a few times before vaulting up into a tree and climbing as high as she could. By the time Jake reached her, he had decided he was finished with his cruel reign of tickling tyranny and merely perched himself on a branch just below hers. Their faces were almost even.
The sun was beginning to sink below the uneven horizon composed of the seemingly infinite trees of Washington State. They were quiet for a moment as they observed the beauty.
"So, what have you done since I left?" Jake asked her, tilting her head slighting in her direction without taking his eyes off the sunset. Nessie, however, turned her gaze on him. Part of her wanted to scream, Look at me! Tell me why we act the way we act! But she merely shrugged and mumbled something noncommittal. Now he looked at her and quirked an eyebrow.
"Nothing at all exciting happened? No epic hunt? No fights with bloodthirsty vamps? How is Bella, by the way?" he asked wickedly. Nessie did her daughterly duty and reprimanded, "Jake!" while slapping him in the chest in punishment. He laughed and caught her hand. Cue heart skipping. She wondered how, exactly, acute his hearing was and coughed to make her irregular heartbeat seem like a result of the uneven intake of oxygen. Yeah right.
"Just the usual," she replied mildly. Suddenly remembering an incidence that was not usual, but not exactly unusual either, she unconsciously added a "well…" after a few moments.
"Well?" he encouraged. His smile was the most beautiful thing on the planet; it was young and bright and warm and welcoming and sometimes sardonic and sometimes old- so indicative of experience and wisdom that only comes with age that she felt tiny and ignorant and so ridiculously young whenever his lips took that wise twist.
"Oh nothing really," she said, focusing instead on how he wasn't wearing a shirt. Much less distracting, she reprimanded herself. She had seen him shirtless plenty, what with clothes being pretty cumbersome to carry in wolf form. The sight never dulled her, though, these days. "Mom just said something a little weird…" she trailed off, thinking the conversation would end. It hadn't been terribly interesting, at least it wouldn't be for Jacob.
"What did Bella say this time?" he asked with a laugh. She smiled at his tone- he always seemed so eager to tease Mom. They were on such familiar terms, she wondered, not for the first time, how they had gotten to be such close friends.
"Just something to Dad about kissing a werewolf. They were having a bit of a spat, about me I think, hanging out with the pack. Dad said something about the influence and I heard mom say something about kissing a werewolf not being so bad, so why should talking be?" Jacob's face had fallen as soon as she started talking and now his expression was unreadable. What did I say?
"Jake? Are you ok? Do you know what she was talking about?" Nessie asked, confused. He looked away and cleared his throat. He stared down at his hands, his thumbs beginning to twiddle.
"Uh, Renesmee…there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a while now," he began. He took a deep breath.
"What is it? Are you ok?" she asked, worried. What was going on? It was just a dumb little thing she'd overheard and thought was strange but not given too much thought to, considering she was busy moping about her missing werewolf. He shook his head, indicating he was fine.
"Look, it- it's a bit of a story, see? About me and your mom, or that's how it started anyway. We really became friends when your dad left. You know about him leaving, right?" he asked, quickly glancing at her for confirmation. Nessie nodded, remembering the jokes about Edward's stint as a tracker and the occasional apologies he gave Ness's mother for ever leaving her side for one second, to which Bella would just smile and tell him to stop being silly.
"Right. Well, your mom was pretty broken up. Really broken up, actually. Like a zombie for a long time, then just…lost. We became friends when she started a little project involving…mechanics. I had always liked her, and she was so pretty. I- well, I fell in love with her," he said, swinging his feet and keeping his eyes on his hands. This, she did not notice, though. She was rather preoccupied wishing a jet would fly past and her drop a stray bomb, right over her shattered heart. She tried to keep them in, but a few tears leaked their way out and her hands refused to abandon their post gripping her branch so hard the bark flaked off and she was actually slightly concerned it would snap and she would have quite the unpleasant trip falling down to the ground far below.
He's in love with my mom. My best friend, with whom I happen to probably be IN LOVE WITH, is in love with my mother. Nessie was in shock and felt betrayed no one has ever told her the nature of Jacob and her mother's relationship. What about Mom? How does she feel? What about Dad?
Meanshile, Jacob had continued talking. "I'm not going to lie to you; it hurt pretty bad watching Bella mope about, heartbroken over someone else, some who I, at the time, thought was total scum. We became best friends and after a while I couldn't hide it from her. I had hoped that one day she would realize I could make her happy. Then Edward came back. I was furious. She just took him back after he left her in pain, unprotected, for months!" He paused, sighing and running his hands through his hair. Nessie was trying to listen instead of leaping off the tree, flying to Italy, and getting the Volturi to rip her head off.
"Anyway, eventually she realized that I wasn't just a friend to her, either. Well, I kind of forced her to realize it, kissing her like that, but-" Nessie made a choked noise that cut him off. More tears squeezed out without her permission and Nessie couldn't decide whether she should focus on how betrayed she should feel, or how betrayed her father should feel. Jacob's head flew around, his eyes growing wide when he realized she was crying. He quickly scrambled around so he was facing her and placed one hand on her cheek to wipe away the tears and the other grabbed at her hand.
Nessie tried to control it, she really did. But she hadn't expected his touch on her hand and her emotions were so overwhelming, the images and feelings poured into Jacob. His faced was in shock for a moment as it all came in. Nessie was horrified at the things she felt had rushed out of her- images of them talking, playing, how she felt when he touched her or smiled at her, an image of her mother and father, the feeling of betrayal, her disbelief that Jake and her mother had kissed!
Before Nessie could even snatch her hand away and break the connection she couldn't control, the most unexpected thing happened. Jake released her hand of his own accord, in favor of bring it to join his other hand on her face and bring his lips crashing to hers. Her world was upside down for a few moments while her mind thought a thousand things at once- how good it felt, did this mean he loved her too, his hands were so warm on her face, he had done this to HER MOTHER!
She pounced off the branch and grapped one of a another tree halfway down to the ground, swinging down to land gracefully on the damp underbrush before running with everything she had in her.
"NESSIE! WAIT!" she heard behind her. She had never run so fast, but neither had he, and he overtook her quickly. He knew her well- he wasted no time being gentle, but spun her around and grabbed her shoulders in an iron vice so she could not escape. Nessie was cursing her half-human DNA that allowed her to cry; her tears were streaking down her face and she was sure she looked crazed. But so did he.
"Nessie, I'm sorry! I should have finished the story first! We loved each other, but she loved your father so much more. I was lost for a long while, but then- then she had you." The last word sounded almost reverent and Nessie stopped her pointless struggle against his grip.
"I imprinted on you, Ness. I asked everyone not to tell you, because I didn't want you to feel like I wouldn't love you anyway. Like I was only your friend because of fate. Because I wasn't- I'm not! You're my best friend, you're beautiful, you're perfect! It- it used to be easy, just being your friend, protecting you," his grip was loosening and he looked so worried. Nessie couldn't get a single thought in her head to make sense. He continued, "But now you've grown up, and I'm only a man, Nessie. I promised myself I would never pressure you to- to love me like that. That I would be whatever you wanted me to be.
"But you're more beautiful every day and I love you so much my insides hurt to be away from you- hell, they hurt even when I'm with you. And when you just showed me those things, that you could feel the same way…I lost it, Ness. I'm so sorry. I broke my promise." He looked like a puppy. A cub, she corrected herself absentmindedly. She noticed unimportant things like the lines of his arm and the flecks of color in his eyes and the rustle of leaves while the important things refused to process. His expression grew ever more concerned as her silence stretched.
Finally, she said, "I can't believe you kissed my mother. You're…in love with my mother." She couldn't keep the hurt from her voice, though she didn't even have enough presence of mind to try to, anyway. Jake's face twisted in grief.
"No, no!" he groaned. "This is why I didn't tell you earlier. No one understands! I used to love her, but now I know how much more I can love someone and she's just a friend with a slightly more complicated history. I'm sorry I kissed her; I would take it back for you if I could, but it was years ago!" Jacob looked as though the only thing in the whole world that he wanted was for her to forgive him. Nessie's head was clearing a bit. He had imprinted on her; this made certain things a lot clearer, like why he went out of his way to see her most every day, why he had been her best friend even when she was a toddler. It made her feel special and empty at the same time. She had seen Quil and Claire before; that devotion was so beautiful, and it now she knew that Jacob felt that way about her.
And yet, she felt so pathetic, that only a trick of fate could make Jacob love her, when she had fallen for him simply for his innumerable wonderful qualities. A sensible voice miraculously found its way to the front of her mind. Well, isn't it always fate? I mean, who knows who I would have loved if Jacob hadn't spent all his time with me because he had imprinted. Mom could have stayed in phoenix and never met Dad. Or Jacob, a darker voice growled. She would have been fine with her mother never knowing Jacob.
She looked up at Jacob again- and stopped thinking. He was her best friend in the whole world. She loved him, and if he loved her, too, then who cared why it had started? It was real, and they were here, together. Tentatively, she reached her hand up to his cheek, staring into his panicked eyes without blinking. She sent him images of herself, as a child and now.
Do you love me? the images asked. His eyes closed, scrunched shut as though he were in pain. His large hand reached up to cover hers on his cheek. He opened his mouth to speak and when the words came out, his voice was thick as though from sleep.
"So much. More than you could know," he told her. He nuzzled his cheek deeper into her hand, squeezing it with his. She pulsed a thought to him through her palm. I know, she assured him. His eyes snapped open and stared into hers, searching for an answer to some unasked question.
"I know because I love you, too, " she said quietly, her face flaming and her heart exploding from nerves and emotion. And with that short sentence, she showed him the raw emotion she felt for him; the images she sent were blurred and unimportant, the accompanying feelings the focus of this communication. His breathing quickened and she finished the montage with an image of the two of them kissing. There was a tentative request reverberating from it.
Show me. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and swallowed, releasing her hand to step forward and close the gap between them. Without their link, Nessie suddenly felt more vulnerable; she was just a girl about to be kissed by a boy. Nessie had seen in movies that girls always closed their eyes at this point, but she couldn't look away from Jacob's smoldering stare. Her hands instinctively came up to lie on his chest, trapped between them. His arms came beneath her elbows and his hands cradled her back, pulling her closer to him. Her head tilted farther up to keep his gaze as she was drawn close as humanly (or nonhumanly, as the case may be) possible to him.
It seemed the forest had quieted. All she could hear was their breathing, ragged and anticipating; the sound, which she would have thought would be awkward, was strangely romantic and she felt they were the only people in the whole world.
"Ness," he whispered lovingly before dipping his head and tentatively touching his lips to hers. Now her eyes fluttered closed.
Without her sight and the sound of their mingles breathing cut off by their kiss, all she did was feel. And it felt perfect. His arms held her strongly, her fingers caressed the bare skin of his chest, their thighs pressed together, and his lips- oh. On a face so masculine, who would have thought his lips could be so soft? They tenderly captured her lips and he showed her everything a kiss could be- loving, gentle, slow, and amazing. They parted for a moment and caught their breath. Jacob touched his forehead to hers and released his hold on her to cup Nessie's face in his hands.
This kiss was different. His thumb brushed her cheek and his strong fingers grasped her neck in a way that made her feel completely female. She reveled in the pressure of his lips against hers, tongues hesitantly tickling lips. She suddenly began to really feel Jacob's heat, her palms on his chest scorching, his hands on her face making her pulse throb painfully in her overheated face. She slid her hands up his chest to wrap them around his neck. She had never imagined such passion could exist. She sent him a wave of happiness through her palms; he gasped and pulled away.
As they stood panting from lack of oxygen, she slid her hand up to his cheek. Another question.
Did I do it right? While she could not transmit sentences, the timbre of her thoughts were generally clear, and they were especially plain to Jacob, who had had years of practice. After the serious atmosphere that had prevailed for so long, she was startled to hear him let out a bark of a laugh. What? she demanded childishly. He kept laughing.
"Ness, I wish I had your talent so I could show just how much you did it right," he said, his words still punctuated with chuckles.
"Oh," she said, her face burning. He smiled and they returned to the clearing just as full night fell. They talked, kissed, hugged, kissed, and gazed at the stars. After a while the talk turned back to imprinting.
"Do you ever," she began, hesitating. "Do you ever wish it hadn't happened?" She didn't look up into his eyes, nor did she communicate with her gift, fearing that her insecurities would be too much to control.
"No," he said. "That's the thing about imprinting. I can't imagine not loving you, in every way possible. It's like your parents- parents pretty much have to love their kids. It's like a law. You're not upset about your parents loving you are you," he asked. She smiled at how he made everything easier, simpler to understand.
"I've waited for you to grow up so long, and once you did…well, it took all of my considerable self-control not to kiss you every day," he said, laughing at himself as he laid down in the grass. Ness stared at him, bewildered as to how such a wonderful thing could ever have happened to her. She leaned down beside him and thanked God she could have a best friend and lover, all in one.
A/N Please review! It's very depressing for an author to see 100 hits on their stories and no reviews. If you like it, tell me! Thanks all.